It's christmas in 2 hours.
Damn you Santa you've never brought me a single present from the day I was born! (....709 years ago...) OK I'll get to that later but first:
It's christmas. Can't believe an entire year has gone by since last Christmas.... feels longer than a year. Last Christmas I was sitting there with one idea in my head and this year I have the same damn idea only changed slightly. Not going to tell you what it is but it makes me smile :) An entire year! Well it's been great hasn't it? I love this year it's a very nice year :D The very first day I woke up feeling estatic and I know for a fact that I shall fall asleep on the very last day of this year feeling even better and wake up the next day knowing that the year to come holds so much for me...
... JUST NOT PRESENTS FROM SANTA!
I need to wake up in 11 hours from now. That might happen... or not. Who knows? I strangely have never been incredibly enthusiastic about Christmas (maybe because of Santa? Yeah, guess what? I'm not going to leave cookies out for you either you fat son of a b***) I am such a boring child (really old child) aren't I? (Oh man so many people will probably hurt me for insulting their lord and master Santa) Christmas isn't that interesting and this Christmas is the only time anyone outside of my family has ever gotten me a present and this is the first time I've gotten anyone a present too. I managed to find exactly what that person wanted so I'm happy :) I also don't like Christmas that much because of all my annoying cousins.... I think I've mentioned this all before in a post somewhere in www.ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com so screw that.
Santa Claus....
... You sir, (You sir!) have visted every single house in the western world except for mine... (Why is Australia considered part of the western world? It's more east than Africa!) AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH!? Come on I haven't done anything bad this year except set fire to those orphans! (But they were throwing rocks and big people with knives so I decided that rocks + knives + orphans = reasonable excuse to set fire to something) I know I'm good enough for Santa to give me presents... it's just that there's always been something missing in my childhood that stopped me from getting presents from him...
... my mother always said he wasn't real....
Yep. My mother refused to ever let me believe in anything mythical. I remember when I was 5 and people would mention what they ask Santa for and I wanted to know why I never got anything from Santa so my mother just goes "He's not real." Oh come on! You don't tell a 5 year old that! Then I tried to explain to her why she was wrong... and she was just like "No, their parents just sneak the presents in late at night and write "From Santa" on them. If they've seen Santa that was just their father dressed up."
Strangely enough my peers were not open to this suggestion of explaining things and I was told that I was stupid. Santa is so real! Either my mother is lying to me or the entire year one student body was lying to me.... rule one of being a little kid: Parents don't know anything. Even if they say that Pokemon aren't real they're most likely wrong and have no idea what they're talking about. Therefore a random 5 year old who would tease me for being fat is far more reliable than my mother and SANTA IS REAL! SANTA IS REAL!
WHY SANTA WHY!? (Suddenly, during his driving test to get his P plates he suddenly remembers the repressed memories of all the depression and anguish of feeling like he didn't succeed in being a good person all those years that Santa never gave him anything and breaks down in mid gear change and breaks down.... just before the car breaks apart as it hits a tree)
I never got that extra present that appeared overnight... when it was easter I got hot cross buns instead of easter eggs hidden around the house and garden (not that it really matters considering that I don't actually eat chocolate anyway) and whenever I lost a tooth and put it underneath my pillow I woke up the next morning to find that it was still there!! Come on I got paid 50cents a week. An extra dollar for a tooth is too much to ask!?
Yes... truly a traumatic childhood.
Hey what's also traumatic is taking a lot of pictures of christmas lights only to come home and realise they're all blurred. Oh well. My camera completely sucks and if there's any movement at all then it'll blur. I can adjust the exposure so some of the photos I took look like they were taken during the day but can't adjust the shutter speed (unfortunately if I adjusted the shutter speed to compensate for the movement then I'd need to adjust the exposure up even more than previously to get the same image only the camera can't do that either so it's kinda really bad...) Yes it's incredibly traumatic I'm thinking about breaking down and crying right now because of it :P (haha one day I really will break down and cry and no one will take me seriously)
SANTA! I shall find you! (As a kid I thought of ways to capture Santa and the Easter Bunny.... I don't know why... I just felt like leaving traps for them.... poison cookies or something. I am evil)
You cannot hide... I know where you live!..... the north pole! (which by the way, does not exist on google earth... that's right... global warming has destroyed Santa's home... he has now moved to Canada) or... Canada as I just said... curse you parenthisis or.... however you spell it....
Goodnight one and all :)
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Australia!!!!!!
OK! Guess who has now seen Australia? Well actually I saw it a while ago I just didn't have the time to blog about it... well I was going to make a Vlog about it for my new channel but I don't think anyone cares about a rambling 10 minute Vlog that is just me talking about the movie without being funny... I know I don't and I can't be bothered editing it because I've got proper film projects to do... real ones. Anyhoo, so yeah I am here to blog about the movie Australia!
OK, Australia... big, long, epic movie with great reviews! (except a few) but guess what? NO ONE IS RIGHT! It was a good movie... not really bad, not immensely brilliant just plain good. But because of it's length it's not going to be one of those movies you want to go see again for a while... now, this movie is made for a reason. This reason is to get tourism into Australia and basically do for Australia what Lord of the Rings did for New Zealand and quite frankly...
It's just that the movie is not appealing to a foreign audience.
...it epically failed.
Yes, Australia is made of fail in that regards. I like this movie! It's good! It was only a bit too long and it was good!.... Just not for anyone who isn't already in the country! You see, this film has an awful lot of cultural things in it. There is quite a bit of Aboriginal culture put into it... and... i'm tired i'm not writing anymore..
OK, Australia... big, long, epic movie with great reviews! (except a few) but guess what? NO ONE IS RIGHT! It was a good movie... not really bad, not immensely brilliant just plain good. But because of it's length it's not going to be one of those movies you want to go see again for a while... now, this movie is made for a reason. This reason is to get tourism into Australia and basically do for Australia what Lord of the Rings did for New Zealand and quite frankly...
It's just that the movie is not appealing to a foreign audience.
...it epically failed.
Yes, Australia is made of fail in that regards. I like this movie! It's good! It was only a bit too long and it was good!.... Just not for anyone who isn't already in the country! You see, this film has an awful lot of cultural things in it. There is quite a bit of Aboriginal culture put into it... and... i'm tired i'm not writing anymore..
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Reverse that mans' Polarity! (Twilight)
Reversing the polarity solves everything! That and sticky tape! Sticky tape that you have reversed the polarity of works better than anything else in the world but is reversed only to Chuck Norris, Elmo and Jesus and so mere mortals cannot waste the limited supply of reversed polarity sticky tape. Reversed Polarity Stick Tape (or RPST) is also used to power Doctor Who's sonic screwdriver. I don't know what that has to do with anything. I've been exceptionally random occasionally recently to be honest (I am far too honest too, I have got to the point that I feel like I don't just need to tell people the truth but everything entirely even if they didn't ask... hence I have a blog?) so I've been coming up with weird things about Monkies in Pinatas and strange things to do with Muffins.... why those need capitals who knows? "Muffin" is now a pronoun. (And you shall worship it?) Anyhoo...
Stephanie Meyer has trapped me in a world without consideration for pace or realism. Curse you Stephanie Meyer and your slow paced yet strangely enjoyable novels about a boy who is a bizarrely bizarre oddity who doesn't age. My word! How shocking! Being 709 I have no particular interest in 110 year old vampires but will still like to see he movie. That doesn't make sense! I get annoyingly addicted to the Twilight series and everytime I get near the book I need to read it... but then after a while realise that I can escape and thus do so and actually have a life... It is essentially a book specifically designed to appeal to female teenage audiences not guys. It creates a pitiful and pathetic female character that very few girls can actually relate to... the only thing is, the girls who read the book... don't know that. OK, sorry to Bella (the person Bella not the fictional character Bella) and Rayne and... Brooke ect and to anyone reading this who is a diehard fan of Twilight (chances are, you're a girl!) because this isn't going to rave and rant on about how good it is but then again I'm not going to say it's bad either. Let me continue. OK, the character doesn't think she's good looking, she thinks she's bland and boring and pathetic and really isn't the most popular person and (and I'm using too many "and"s) keeps comparing herself to these vampires and thinks that people always look and are better than her. I have noticed, as probably every guy in the world with a brain, that girl's will often have the same opinion about themselves as Bella. Now, you take a character that ISN'T ACTUALLY LIKE ANYONE but everyone seems to think they are like (like hell you are people! If you read the book you'll notice that you're nothing like Bella besides the fact that you don't like yourself too much and that's unjustified) and you give this character this goal, this dream, this inevitable idea that she will one day be perfect and she will have the most perfect and handsome and loving and caring guy who will never age, who will never die, never leave you and you can live together in perfect happiness for all eternity in each others arms.... and in achieving having this guy for yourself you also inherently become perfect yourself and all your physical blemishes and pathetic little trips and falls and inability to do anythingness leaves and goes away because you are now an immortal being. Now who doesn't want the perfect guy who is sexier than anyone else, completely devoted to you and will never age to have to themselves?
That is why that the book is perfect for young teenage girls. Because they have this fantasy to escape to of a perfect life because they think they're not really worth much. They think they can relate to Bella's imperfections... but they really can't. I'm sorry people but a lot of you just are nothing like this character in almost every way so it's... a book that is successful because the youth of today hates itself? Because quite frankly, no offence to the book or anything, but each book always starts off very slowly, it's not too intense on plot until near the end when stuff actually starts happening and there's real obvious danger and trying to kill people (or, not even killing anyone) and stuff. It's good but people who are obsessed with it, are girls...
Midnight sun on the other hand...
... IS AWESOME!!!
It's written from the point of view of Edward and doesn't appeal to a female audience nearly as much as Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because it talks more about blood and internal struggles as compared to confused wondering and long descriptions of how hot Edward is... I love it, I am addicted to Midnight Sun and keep wanting to read it and staying up late because of it! I like Edward... he's awesome (and Jacob is annoying). I really want Stephanie to continue to write it dammit so when I get to the end it'll be the proper end! But oh well, maybe one day.
I don't think I was going to blog about that at all but did. OK, I just said my opinion....
Why do my blog titles never have anything to do with the content of them!? :S OK! I'm adding in "(Twilight)" to the title of this post. Maybe that will warn away a few of the anti-twilight people I know of... who refuse to conform to the masses and read the damn book. Quite frankly why should they give in? (Don't yell at me Twilight fans! Don't yell at me!) It is not the greatest book of all time, it might not even become a classic and not everyone needs or should read it.... I only encourage people to read Midnight Sun I don't encourage other people to read Twilight (Although unfortunately you should read Twilight if you're going to make sense of Midnight Sun) because I really don't think it needs me to help it get read. It has it's legions of followers who are all secretly wanting to be vampires! Anyone dare say they hate Edward Cullen and in 3 seconds you'll be on the floor being mobbed by the nearest teenage girls as the screech their eery death screeches of anguish and hatred at you! "EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HOT! HOW DARE YOU!" and then you be dead.
... I actually wanted this post to be not-serious and funny but it's become very very serious... I am not joking about that last part about the teenage girls attacking you in waves and waves of angry slapping across the face. There is nothing funny about enraged Edward-Fan beatings... it happens twice daily in the US alone.... think about it...
Stephanie Meyer has trapped me in a world without consideration for pace or realism. Curse you Stephanie Meyer and your slow paced yet strangely enjoyable novels about a boy who is a bizarrely bizarre oddity who doesn't age. My word! How shocking! Being 709 I have no particular interest in 110 year old vampires but will still like to see he movie. That doesn't make sense! I get annoyingly addicted to the Twilight series and everytime I get near the book I need to read it... but then after a while realise that I can escape and thus do so and actually have a life... It is essentially a book specifically designed to appeal to female teenage audiences not guys. It creates a pitiful and pathetic female character that very few girls can actually relate to... the only thing is, the girls who read the book... don't know that. OK, sorry to Bella (the person Bella not the fictional character Bella) and Rayne and... Brooke ect and to anyone reading this who is a diehard fan of Twilight (chances are, you're a girl!) because this isn't going to rave and rant on about how good it is but then again I'm not going to say it's bad either. Let me continue. OK, the character doesn't think she's good looking, she thinks she's bland and boring and pathetic and really isn't the most popular person and (and I'm using too many "and"s) keeps comparing herself to these vampires and thinks that people always look and are better than her. I have noticed, as probably every guy in the world with a brain, that girl's will often have the same opinion about themselves as Bella. Now, you take a character that ISN'T ACTUALLY LIKE ANYONE but everyone seems to think they are like (like hell you are people! If you read the book you'll notice that you're nothing like Bella besides the fact that you don't like yourself too much and that's unjustified) and you give this character this goal, this dream, this inevitable idea that she will one day be perfect and she will have the most perfect and handsome and loving and caring guy who will never age, who will never die, never leave you and you can live together in perfect happiness for all eternity in each others arms.... and in achieving having this guy for yourself you also inherently become perfect yourself and all your physical blemishes and pathetic little trips and falls and inability to do anythingness leaves and goes away because you are now an immortal being. Now who doesn't want the perfect guy who is sexier than anyone else, completely devoted to you and will never age to have to themselves?
That is why that the book is perfect for young teenage girls. Because they have this fantasy to escape to of a perfect life because they think they're not really worth much. They think they can relate to Bella's imperfections... but they really can't. I'm sorry people but a lot of you just are nothing like this character in almost every way so it's... a book that is successful because the youth of today hates itself? Because quite frankly, no offence to the book or anything, but each book always starts off very slowly, it's not too intense on plot until near the end when stuff actually starts happening and there's real obvious danger and trying to kill people (or, not even killing anyone) and stuff. It's good but people who are obsessed with it, are girls...
Midnight sun on the other hand...
... IS AWESOME!!!
It's written from the point of view of Edward and doesn't appeal to a female audience nearly as much as Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because it talks more about blood and internal struggles as compared to confused wondering and long descriptions of how hot Edward is... I love it, I am addicted to Midnight Sun and keep wanting to read it and staying up late because of it! I like Edward... he's awesome (and Jacob is annoying). I really want Stephanie to continue to write it dammit so when I get to the end it'll be the proper end! But oh well, maybe one day.
I don't think I was going to blog about that at all but did. OK, I just said my opinion....
Why do my blog titles never have anything to do with the content of them!? :S OK! I'm adding in "(Twilight)" to the title of this post. Maybe that will warn away a few of the anti-twilight people I know of... who refuse to conform to the masses and read the damn book. Quite frankly why should they give in? (Don't yell at me Twilight fans! Don't yell at me!) It is not the greatest book of all time, it might not even become a classic and not everyone needs or should read it.... I only encourage people to read Midnight Sun I don't encourage other people to read Twilight (Although unfortunately you should read Twilight if you're going to make sense of Midnight Sun) because I really don't think it needs me to help it get read. It has it's legions of followers who are all secretly wanting to be vampires! Anyone dare say they hate Edward Cullen and in 3 seconds you'll be on the floor being mobbed by the nearest teenage girls as the screech their eery death screeches of anguish and hatred at you! "EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HOT! HOW DARE YOU!" and then you be dead.
... I actually wanted this post to be not-serious and funny but it's become very very serious... I am not joking about that last part about the teenage girls attacking you in waves and waves of angry slapping across the face. There is nothing funny about enraged Edward-Fan beatings... it happens twice daily in the US alone.... think about it...
Oh yeah, plus I visited the terrorists lair today and she straightened my hair. I was too tired from job hunting (Terrorists also force me to become one of the working masses for some bizarre reasons) so I was like "meh..." but I wasn't too tired to refuse to let her paint my nails. NO! No, you can't paint my nails... I don't mind straight hair just no nail painting!
I'm a smexy fishy... yes... it used to be a lot more straight than that but I took that picture who knows how many hours afterwards. Oh well. I think I look good with long flowing straight hair, a beard and a moustache don't you? Of course you do! I AM YOUR MASTER! OK, gone back to being weird! Woo!
Monday, December 8, 2008
I Will Miss Thee!
TheWindowOfBilby is a non-profit project: Please give me money anyway! our goal: $500
I Will Miss Thee!
-------------------------------------------
From thewindowofbilby the free blog
This article or section describes a work or element of fiction in a primarily in-universe style.
Please rewrite this article or section to explain the fiction more clearly and provide non-fictional perspective.
Weeee! Ye all be fine hearty lads! Arr I be a pirate arr....[1] (Born March 21, 1299) I am also a blogger of asian descent although I was born in Australia and have recieved multiple awards in awesomeness[1]
------------
Contents (hide)
1 Subject
2 History
3 Critical Reception
-----------
Subject (edit)
---------------------------------------
No, yes, no, it's not got nothing to do with nothing that isn't what I haven't yet said and shan't stall anymore to tell you... or is it? I don't know... I don't even understand that last sentence. (No on does... it's like... an octagonal-negative? octave of negatives... there's 8 in there...) OK moving on, as you all know... it is holidays right now for me. This is very sad because... I'm starting to miss my teachers....
AGH WHAT?!!? What kind of... WEIRD FREAK ARE YOU!?
*cries* waaaahahaha! Why do I yell at myself!? Hahaha yeah I'm... very random at times. Today especially... apparently. (citation needed)
History (edit)
---------------------------------------
Yes, I miss my teachers. They were great teachers and lots of fun to be in their classes! They were all interesting especially my chemistry teacher, who, for a while, was my physics teacher too. She was slighlty absent minded and would make a few typing errors occasionally and it was quite amusing to point out to her that Newton's "Fist" law was not real... and neither were "Fictional forces" (she has a problem with the letter R). It was like having one of my weird friends (who was writing a thesis) teach me it was great! It was fun, and seeing how I sat up the front if I ever didn't want to do work I would merely ask her a question and she'd start talking to me :) It was fun... I've never really been bothered/capable of having a conversation with my teacher that lasts 20 minutes before she realises we need to get back to work...[2] Haha she was quite amusing sometimes and lots of fun to be taught by. I learnt quite a lot about molecular bonds and enthalpy and stuff....
My physics teacher was from holland so he spoke another language.... well... if you asked him too that is. He spoke perfect english! He spoke it quite quickly and didn't sound foreign at all... although he did take bloody forever to explain anything![3] Seriously, I asked him once what units momentum was measured in (I said "is it this?" and so a yes or no would've sufficed)... over five minutes later when the rest of the class had walked out the door I was still sitting there... but at least I knew how momentum worked... I didn't really need to know everything from the absolute basics but thanks anyway! He had a habit of doing that.... taking forever to answer a question that only took a maximum of a minute because every single time we asked a question he needed to explain it from the very very basics and make sure everyone understands every little detail.... no! I'm almost constantly on an A! I want an answer quickly not one that takes forever! Besides this minor flaw (Really not fun asking someone a question... then realising the answer long before they've answered it) he had lots of interesting things to tell us. He knew lots of interesting tricks and was very good at ballancing stuff.[4]
My English Lit teacher! Oh she is wonderful! This year was the 3rd year I'd had her and it's always fun. She's the oldest of my teachers and is a grandmother so it's like having your grandmother teach you about shakespeare. She brings you tissues and once I got cookies![5] We even occasionally had a lesson just devoted to eating food as a break from working :) Lovely woman who I have always towered over even when I was in only 13 years old. One thing you notice though is when you're around a teacher for more than a year you start to notice that they have these stories that they use to make points about things. She has anecdotes that occasionally will come up and when you've been in her class more than once you realise she uses them about once or twice a year... so some people are sitting there thinking "wow this is interesting" and you're like "I remember last year you told that story..." which I don't mind. She even has new ones sometimes (new as in newly told, not new as in time) like the time there were two boys fighting and she goes "Right! Stop this at once!" and she grabs one of the boys (who was quite taller and stronger than her) and he must've been off balance because she pulled him and he went flying back into a pile of rosebushes. Everyone just looks shocked that this tiny little woman jsut threw a big tough guy into rosebushes with ease... haha :D My english lit teacher is your grandma meets the hulk...(citation needed)
My maths teacher was truly wonderful. I never learnt a single thing from her but she never yelled at me for rarely ever doing work... probably because she was too busy smiling because I would do the strangest things in maths! I would randomly ask her how her day was or ask her really weird questions like "In a fight between a covenant elite and pikachu who would win?" I say Pikachu because he is really fast and capable of taking a lot of damage but has really awesome thundershock attack (yeah I always side with the pokemon...) but my friend next to me thinks the elite would win because one plasma blast pikachu is dead....(citation needed) She never knew what to expect and it was lots of fun being in her class. I love using the classic line "Miss! (person) is disrupting my learning!" whenever someone disagreed with me so I wanted them to stop talking... I once even started pretending to break down and make sobbing noises in front of my teacher and her face was just like "uhh....help?" it was so funny![7]
My drama teacher has got to be one of the most awesome teachers on the earth.(citation not needed) He would quote The Simpsons, Adam Sandler and all sorts of funny things along with coming up with his own jokes aswell as draw very awesome pictures of toasters. He was the kind of person who you could talk to about a lot of things (movies, music, dancing, jokes, food ect) and wasn't one of those old people who aren't quite up to date. He wins the award for funniest, most relatable and patient teacher award for 2008[8]. We were a terrible class that didn't really get things on in time which was very unfortunate because he was so kind to us and we did disapoint him every now and then. We also had double periods on mondays and so halfway through he would pitch in some money occasionally when we would go to the deli nearby and buy some food (Lemon Crisps rock! Down with the heathens that do not appreciate the salty sweetness!) and it was fun.
Critical reception (edit)
----------------------------
This article does not cite any references or sources.
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed. (December 2008)
My teachers all like me (citation needed) and would love to have me in their classes next year. I got a rotten tomato report of %87 and IMBD thinks I am awesome.(citation needed) My teachers all gave me A's... except ones for all my TEE subjects. I got 1 and 1/2 C's and the rest were B's except two A's in Media. This was only because all my work was stolen by monkeys(citation needed) so if I had handed in my work I would've ruled the world! (huh? I don't think "citation needed" quite does it...)
-----------------------
Categories: Insanity Pointless blogs Teachers
I Will Miss Thee!
-------------------------------------------
From thewindowofbilby the free blog
This article or section describes a work or element of fiction in a primarily in-universe style.
Please rewrite this article or section to explain the fiction more clearly and provide non-fictional perspective.
Weeee! Ye all be fine hearty lads! Arr I be a pirate arr....[1] (Born March 21, 1299) I am also a blogger of asian descent although I was born in Australia and have recieved multiple awards in awesomeness[1]
------------
Contents (hide)
1 Subject
2 History
3 Critical Reception
-----------
Subject (edit)
---------------------------------------
No, yes, no, it's not got nothing to do with nothing that isn't what I haven't yet said and shan't stall anymore to tell you... or is it? I don't know... I don't even understand that last sentence. (No on does... it's like... an octagonal-negative? octave of negatives... there's 8 in there...) OK moving on, as you all know... it is holidays right now for me. This is very sad because... I'm starting to miss my teachers....
AGH WHAT?!!? What kind of... WEIRD FREAK ARE YOU!?
*cries* waaaahahaha! Why do I yell at myself!? Hahaha yeah I'm... very random at times. Today especially... apparently. (citation needed)
History (edit)
---------------------------------------
Yes, I miss my teachers. They were great teachers and lots of fun to be in their classes! They were all interesting especially my chemistry teacher, who, for a while, was my physics teacher too. She was slighlty absent minded and would make a few typing errors occasionally and it was quite amusing to point out to her that Newton's "Fist" law was not real... and neither were "Fictional forces" (she has a problem with the letter R). It was like having one of my weird friends (who was writing a thesis) teach me it was great! It was fun, and seeing how I sat up the front if I ever didn't want to do work I would merely ask her a question and she'd start talking to me :) It was fun... I've never really been bothered/capable of having a conversation with my teacher that lasts 20 minutes before she realises we need to get back to work...[2] Haha she was quite amusing sometimes and lots of fun to be taught by. I learnt quite a lot about molecular bonds and enthalpy and stuff....
My physics teacher was from holland so he spoke another language.... well... if you asked him too that is. He spoke perfect english! He spoke it quite quickly and didn't sound foreign at all... although he did take bloody forever to explain anything![3] Seriously, I asked him once what units momentum was measured in (I said "is it this?" and so a yes or no would've sufficed)... over five minutes later when the rest of the class had walked out the door I was still sitting there... but at least I knew how momentum worked... I didn't really need to know everything from the absolute basics but thanks anyway! He had a habit of doing that.... taking forever to answer a question that only took a maximum of a minute because every single time we asked a question he needed to explain it from the very very basics and make sure everyone understands every little detail.... no! I'm almost constantly on an A! I want an answer quickly not one that takes forever! Besides this minor flaw (Really not fun asking someone a question... then realising the answer long before they've answered it) he had lots of interesting things to tell us. He knew lots of interesting tricks and was very good at ballancing stuff.[4]
My English Lit teacher! Oh she is wonderful! This year was the 3rd year I'd had her and it's always fun. She's the oldest of my teachers and is a grandmother so it's like having your grandmother teach you about shakespeare. She brings you tissues and once I got cookies![5] We even occasionally had a lesson just devoted to eating food as a break from working :) Lovely woman who I have always towered over even when I was in only 13 years old. One thing you notice though is when you're around a teacher for more than a year you start to notice that they have these stories that they use to make points about things. She has anecdotes that occasionally will come up and when you've been in her class more than once you realise she uses them about once or twice a year... so some people are sitting there thinking "wow this is interesting" and you're like "I remember last year you told that story..." which I don't mind. She even has new ones sometimes (new as in newly told, not new as in time) like the time there were two boys fighting and she goes "Right! Stop this at once!" and she grabs one of the boys (who was quite taller and stronger than her) and he must've been off balance because she pulled him and he went flying back into a pile of rosebushes. Everyone just looks shocked that this tiny little woman jsut threw a big tough guy into rosebushes with ease... haha :D My english lit teacher is your grandma meets the hulk...(citation needed)
My maths teacher was truly wonderful. I never learnt a single thing from her but she never yelled at me for rarely ever doing work... probably because she was too busy smiling because I would do the strangest things in maths! I would randomly ask her how her day was or ask her really weird questions like "In a fight between a covenant elite and pikachu who would win?" I say Pikachu because he is really fast and capable of taking a lot of damage but has really awesome thundershock attack (yeah I always side with the pokemon...) but my friend next to me thinks the elite would win because one plasma blast pikachu is dead....(citation needed) She never knew what to expect and it was lots of fun being in her class. I love using the classic line "Miss! (person) is disrupting my learning!" whenever someone disagreed with me so I wanted them to stop talking... I once even started pretending to break down and make sobbing noises in front of my teacher and her face was just like "uhh....help?" it was so funny![7]
My drama teacher has got to be one of the most awesome teachers on the earth.(citation not needed) He would quote The Simpsons, Adam Sandler and all sorts of funny things along with coming up with his own jokes aswell as draw very awesome pictures of toasters. He was the kind of person who you could talk to about a lot of things (movies, music, dancing, jokes, food ect) and wasn't one of those old people who aren't quite up to date. He wins the award for funniest, most relatable and patient teacher award for 2008[8]. We were a terrible class that didn't really get things on in time which was very unfortunate because he was so kind to us and we did disapoint him every now and then. We also had double periods on mondays and so halfway through he would pitch in some money occasionally when we would go to the deli nearby and buy some food (Lemon Crisps rock! Down with the heathens that do not appreciate the salty sweetness!) and it was fun.
Critical reception (edit)
----------------------------
This article does not cite any references or sources.
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed. (December 2008)
My teachers all like me (citation needed) and would love to have me in their classes next year. I got a rotten tomato report of %87 and IMBD thinks I am awesome.(citation needed) My teachers all gave me A's... except ones for all my TEE subjects. I got 1 and 1/2 C's and the rest were B's except two A's in Media. This was only because all my work was stolen by monkeys(citation needed) so if I had handed in my work I would've ruled the world! (huh? I don't think "citation needed" quite does it...)
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Categories: Insanity Pointless blogs Teachers
Thursday, December 4, 2008
My Blog is (Visually) Boring
Yes, I've come to the schocking realisation that... my blog just doesn't look any good... at all. Que? Well take a quick look at these blogs!
.... uhhh.... just a sec...
http://thatgirlonline.blogspot.com/
aha! Go visit it! Do any of you know who that is!? That's Caitlin Hill from the youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/Thehill88 (I has faileded HTML code... how do you put hyperlinks in text? :( oh well) and not only is she incredibly awesome as proven by this very scientific video:
I think that's the one I want... and she does some stuff and... yeah I'm not going to give you her life story or what she does because that's just weird. She's an interesting online personality that I've been subscribed to on youtube since the very start of my channel and without her... I wouldn't know what blogspot is.
ZOMGWTFBBQLOLQUE!?... wait what? That string of letters was... gibberish :S (english language just got owned) well I gave you a link to her blog and if I hadn't been a fan of hers and seen the link at the bottom of the description box in her channel I never would've discovered blogspot and subsequently eventually decided to make a blog.... so woo! That's about all she's done for me... besides entertain with her many odd videos.
Quick reason why she's not just another random on the internet: SHE'S GOING TO BE IN THE REMAKE OF PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE! :O! (gasp!) proofs! http://io9.com/5056559/plan-9-remake-is-cast it says Caitlin Hill and wikipedia assumes it's the same one plus she is in independant films why not have succeeded in breaking into a hollywood one? I really absolutely adore that movie in all it's patheticness! When I first saw it about.... a few months ago I was thinking "I bet I could remake this movie with almost the same scenes and dialogue and STILL make it better than this!" and apparently someone else has decided the same thing.... only... they'll probably change it...
HAHAHA GOOGLE VIDEO IS HOSTING THE ORIGINAL!
OK if that doesn't work just go to:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7038656109656489183
OK I'm pretty sure I wrote more than this.. my text disappeared!? Anyhoo, all I really said was that Plan 9 truly is one of, if not, the WORST movie... of all time! It truly is absolutely abismal! No one acts well in it at all, the script is so bad (I love the classically bad lines "you can see or measure the atom but you can split it to create energy. Sunlight is made of many atoms") and the story is so stupid ("All earthmen are stupid! Stupid! Stupid!") and I never thought that any movie could have so much incontinuity, bad special effects (even though it is from the 60's) and the lighting... OK during some scenes it changes from night to day to night to day in a matter of a few seconds... THAT is how BAD it is! The directing is the worst I have ever seen! The guy who directed it got a Golden Turkey Award for Worst Director Ever.... after his death! wooo! Posthumous woo! Creepy scary talentless dude wooo!
HOW DO I UPLOAD IMAGES!?
OK I figured it out... that's the poster to the original Plan 9 From Outer Space. What has this got to do with anything? Well... it doesn't actually. I go off on tangents of what I say originally because I don't actually have anything to say to begin with! Haha yeah that's right! I don't know where I'm going when I write these blogs I just end up places... and this one is actually about how visually boring my blog is sometimes... so I decided I'd put in some interesting visual stuff things for you to look at! And what's better to stare mindlessly at than a movie? Yes, lots of other people's blogs are all very boring but mine is very interesting now due to the prettyness! COLOURS! COLOURS! (Look at them) excuse me... I am currently lapsing into insanity... (eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr....moo)
Yes, so I hope you are currently enjoying the weird things I have put up to show you (I've heard that one before...?) and I'm about to get some more stuff up for your enjoyment! (I bet you've heard that one before!)
OK this... is Mew... (Isn't it the cutest thing ever!? ISN'T IT!?) as drawn by Nadou on deviant art (You rock! I don't know who you are and have never even visited your account I just felt like mentioning that this was your piece of artwork so you don't get annoyed at me for putting it here without your permission! Unless you stole it yourself but I think that is very unlikely! I also like pineapples!) and yeah... if you haven't noticed by my previous blog entries... I still like pokemon.... games... I like the pokemon games. Playing with Mew is fun! :D (In more ways that one! ;) mhm!) hahaha ok...
moving on... I have a large amount of strange pictures on my harddrive (strange as in... weird/funny ones not... the other kind you'd expect to find on a teenagers harddrive... no! Don't look at me like that!)
www.xkcd.com/512 everyone! Woo! No, unfortunately I am not too rich if that were the case (that'd be so awesome though! doesn't matter that it can't work...) even though I do have over 1000 pictures specifically designed to be amusing.... nearly 800 of those being lolcats (eee! lolcats can has ma lols kthnkbai......... I feel so wrong for saying that....) and these weird images are all very fascinating so I'm just going to... well... give up on trying to amuse you and take the really lazy and pathetic option of showing you other people's works and just showing them to you to amuse you... even though all I did was press a button...
FAVOURITE LOLCATS EVERYONE!
hahaha that's so cruel....
OK there's a few of them... probably not the funniest ones I have (although the voices and cocaine one just makes me burst out laughing every single time! Cannot look at those for too long or I look weird just sitting there uncontrollably laughing...) but you try looking through 800 pictures of thumbnails and pic the funniest ones... I'm too lazy.
Anyhoo, now you know what the inside of my harddrive looks like... I have successfully made my blog look shiny.... and pretty and colourful.... maybe some day I'll actually post images that are interesting that aren't just there for the sake of having pictures! Oh well...
Hey do you think I need a signature sign off? I think I need one... well... not really... it'd be cool though! I don't know maybe something interesting like a symbol... anyhoo
Have a nice day :)
.... uhhh.... just a sec...
http://thatgirlonline.blogspot.com/
aha! Go visit it! Do any of you know who that is!? That's Caitlin Hill from the youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/Thehill88 (I has faileded HTML code... how do you put hyperlinks in text? :( oh well) and not only is she incredibly awesome as proven by this very scientific video:
I think that's the one I want... and she does some stuff and... yeah I'm not going to give you her life story or what she does because that's just weird. She's an interesting online personality that I've been subscribed to on youtube since the very start of my channel and without her... I wouldn't know what blogspot is.
ZOMGWTFBBQLOLQUE!?... wait what? That string of letters was... gibberish :S (english language just got owned) well I gave you a link to her blog and if I hadn't been a fan of hers and seen the link at the bottom of the description box in her channel I never would've discovered blogspot and subsequently eventually decided to make a blog.... so woo! That's about all she's done for me... besides entertain with her many odd videos.
Quick reason why she's not just another random on the internet: SHE'S GOING TO BE IN THE REMAKE OF PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE! :O! (gasp!) proofs! http://io9.com/5056559/plan-9-remake-is-cast it says Caitlin Hill and wikipedia assumes it's the same one plus she is in independant films why not have succeeded in breaking into a hollywood one? I really absolutely adore that movie in all it's patheticness! When I first saw it about.... a few months ago I was thinking "I bet I could remake this movie with almost the same scenes and dialogue and STILL make it better than this!" and apparently someone else has decided the same thing.... only... they'll probably change it...
HAHAHA GOOGLE VIDEO IS HOSTING THE ORIGINAL!
OK if that doesn't work just go to:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7038656109656489183
OK I'm pretty sure I wrote more than this.. my text disappeared!? Anyhoo, all I really said was that Plan 9 truly is one of, if not, the WORST movie... of all time! It truly is absolutely abismal! No one acts well in it at all, the script is so bad (I love the classically bad lines "you can see or measure the atom but you can split it to create energy. Sunlight is made of many atoms") and the story is so stupid ("All earthmen are stupid! Stupid! Stupid!") and I never thought that any movie could have so much incontinuity, bad special effects (even though it is from the 60's) and the lighting... OK during some scenes it changes from night to day to night to day in a matter of a few seconds... THAT is how BAD it is! The directing is the worst I have ever seen! The guy who directed it got a Golden Turkey Award for Worst Director Ever.... after his death! wooo! Posthumous woo! Creepy scary talentless dude wooo!
HOW DO I UPLOAD IMAGES!?
OK I figured it out... that's the poster to the original Plan 9 From Outer Space. What has this got to do with anything? Well... it doesn't actually. I go off on tangents of what I say originally because I don't actually have anything to say to begin with! Haha yeah that's right! I don't know where I'm going when I write these blogs I just end up places... and this one is actually about how visually boring my blog is sometimes... so I decided I'd put in some interesting visual stuff things for you to look at! And what's better to stare mindlessly at than a movie? Yes, lots of other people's blogs are all very boring but mine is very interesting now due to the prettyness! COLOURS! COLOURS! (Look at them) excuse me... I am currently lapsing into insanity... (eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr....moo)
Yes, so I hope you are currently enjoying the weird things I have put up to show you (I've heard that one before...?) and I'm about to get some more stuff up for your enjoyment! (I bet you've heard that one before!)
OK this... is Mew... (Isn't it the cutest thing ever!? ISN'T IT!?) as drawn by Nadou on deviant art (You rock! I don't know who you are and have never even visited your account I just felt like mentioning that this was your piece of artwork so you don't get annoyed at me for putting it here without your permission! Unless you stole it yourself but I think that is very unlikely! I also like pineapples!) and yeah... if you haven't noticed by my previous blog entries... I still like pokemon.... games... I like the pokemon games. Playing with Mew is fun! :D (In more ways that one! ;) mhm!) hahaha ok...
moving on... I have a large amount of strange pictures on my harddrive (strange as in... weird/funny ones not... the other kind you'd expect to find on a teenagers harddrive... no! Don't look at me like that!)
www.xkcd.com/512 everyone! Woo! No, unfortunately I am not too rich if that were the case (that'd be so awesome though! doesn't matter that it can't work...) even though I do have over 1000 pictures specifically designed to be amusing.... nearly 800 of those being lolcats (eee! lolcats can has ma lols kthnkbai......... I feel so wrong for saying that....) and these weird images are all very fascinating so I'm just going to... well... give up on trying to amuse you and take the really lazy and pathetic option of showing you other people's works and just showing them to you to amuse you... even though all I did was press a button...
FAVOURITE LOLCATS EVERYONE!
hahaha that's so cruel....
OK there's a few of them... probably not the funniest ones I have (although the voices and cocaine one just makes me burst out laughing every single time! Cannot look at those for too long or I look weird just sitting there uncontrollably laughing...) but you try looking through 800 pictures of thumbnails and pic the funniest ones... I'm too lazy.
Anyhoo, now you know what the inside of my harddrive looks like... I have successfully made my blog look shiny.... and pretty and colourful.... maybe some day I'll actually post images that are interesting that aren't just there for the sake of having pictures! Oh well...
Hey do you think I need a signature sign off? I think I need one... well... not really... it'd be cool though! I don't know maybe something interesting like a symbol... anyhoo
Have a nice day :)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Limits of the Dead
Bonus cookie points to the person who gets which song that is from... without googling it!
Well OK! Limits of the dead? Well their limits mean that they cannot move anywhere... they also have a lot of trouble picking up guys/girls. Gee it sucks to be dead don't it? Yes... it would suck to be dead...
...which is why my mother can NEVER EVER SEE MY MATHS EXAM! OK my mother is... short description: insane. slightly longer description yet very short in comparison to a proper long one: she is insane and a perfectionist with very high standards. B's are unacceptable.
B's are bad!? I have to get an A in EVERYTHING!? Especially maths which she believes I am awesome at and she and my father are both incredibly good at and all my siblings are good at it and I've previously topped classes when it comes to maths and stuff.... gee wow I must be a disapointment getting only %43 on an exam right? I don't think I am... well I am... but not to myself. Well.... sorta... I did study an awful lot and I really was expecting a %50 but no... it was not to be! In fact, not only did I fail miserably at this maths test but I also have eliminated any A averages I had previously by doing poorly on all my other exams too! OK, I was doing so immensely well in Chemistry I could get %68 on my semester 2 exams and still pass with an A average... I got %61. So not only is that basically the lowest score I have gotten in that class the entire year but I got it on the biggest test of the entire year and no longer have an A average!
Although the %69 on my physics exam, although tragic too and detrimental to my previously A average, did put a bit of a smile on my face. If you must do poorly compared to everyone else on a test then the best you could get is a 69.... percent... (hehehe *immature giggle*)
OK, not everything is a failure. Sure, I have no idea what I got on my english lit exam (NO ONE KNOWS! Why weren't they there? hmm! The English department was sorely lacking in being organised....) and I don't even think my Drama exams were even marked....
... plus I am number one top media student for the entire year.... and have defeated my arch rival who I have fought for dominance over for the entire year and only just have managed to come on top near the end! Mwahahahaha! Watch my media project! Sure, it wasn't the one I beat him on but I have finally finished it and I want the world to see it! :)
So basically... I have achieved the only two goals I really set out to achieve this semester... 1) CRUSH my archrival and become top media student for my year! (mwahahahaha!) and 2) JUST pass intro calc... yeah, so I failed my maths exam BUT... they lowered the cut-off for a C so I still technically pass the subject :)
Remember last exams I answered a bunch of silly answers to questions? Of course you do! You are my adoring fan base.... you looooovveeeee mmeeeee!!! (raarrr! hug me!) and would never forget ANYTHING I have said in my pages and pages of ramblings... or I'd find you...
Well don't worry, I answered stupid questions to these exams too. First off, one I didn't do deliberately....
English Lit:
OK, quick run down of what happened before I get to what I wrote. OK, I sit down, we're given reading time and so I open the booklet to see what questions we have for each sections. I see a question in the Prose section and go "YES! That works so well! In fact, TWO of them are instantly incredibly easy!" then I look at the one of Poetry and instantly go "Yes! That works so well!" then look at the questions for the Drama section and go ".............................." it's like looking at questions specifically designed to annoy you by not actually having any substance or depth to them. Discuss the significance behind the title of a play!? NO! WRONG! We've had that question before and it related to poetry not drama! How do you write 3 pages on why a play is called "Oedipus"? It doesn't work... so I did the question about how earlier scenes in a play prepare you for the end... ok... fine. Sure it'll suck but at least I'll be able to write something on it...
So I start discussing why the opening scene is important in plays. I discuss how they introduce the audience to the characters and the story ect.
"You can tell by how the chorus talks directly to Oedipus and how he was the majority of the dialogue and things are focused around him that he is the main character in the play."
Then I realise.... the play is called Oedipus and all of that didn't really need to be said so in brackets I say "As stated in the title" so yeah... I spent an entire paragraph saying something that didn't need to be said because it's told to you in the flipping TITLE! Grr.... I'll get back to another thing about the English Lit exam later... it's fascinating/I want to complain
OK, in all my other exams except maths I didn't really do anything stupid... well.... besides everything... (oh I don't want my drama exam back... I did at least %15 worse in the exams I got back than I expected I would get as a minimum so considering I think I did abismal in my drama exam I'm pretty sure... I did abismal...)
Maths answers:
OK, some of them weren't really answers... more of weird things I drew on the sides of the paper. Like a stick figure looking over a cliff (I very well drawn cliff) with a stick figure behind it throwing a very large rock at it's head. Then a message next to it saying "I'd like to thank the person who wrote this exam for not including anything about factorising or cubics :)"... no mixed messages there at all! :P
I also drew a pretty awesome drawing of Alien from Alien (and Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Ressurection, Alien vs Predator and Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem) which I realised, as I was drawing it, is indeed a VERY fallic design indeed. Because well if you just look at the head by itself and get rid of the strange long, hard thing that it has in it's drooling mouth that strangely extends every now and then.... and you get this head right... it's long and slender and has no eyes and only an opening at the front where it drools profusely from... yeah... if you don't finish your drawing and only do the main shape and don't put much detail in it... you'll be getting a lot worse comments back on your maths test than just "Please don't draw on your work"
I also wrote on the top of my exam little things like:
survival guide tip #1 whatever you do don't throw away your old maths tests or papers. You never know when you might get lost in the middle of nowhere and need to start a fire. Therefore proving that maths is NOT useless and is helpful and saves 1.5e(0.01t) over log15 + 5 people a year!
hahaha...yeah.... stay in school kids! Helps you in the forest... Anyhoo, next page I wrote on the top the following:
survival guide tip #2 don't write stupid things on your maths test because it angers maths teachers and they know where you live...
And then under that was a picture of a little bald man with glasses on and blood dripping from his fangs....
....That's what maths teachers look like over here in Australia... dripping in the blood of the innocent...
Then, on a question about optimisation and what the maxium area I could get from 600m worth of wire I couldn't answer it so I wrote:
To discover the maximum potential in the things around us we must first realise the full potential in ourselves... I suggest some deep breathing exercises to cleanse the soul...
Well I know... pretty disapointing only drawing and writing a few things to keep my markers amused but I was pressed for time...
I have come to the realisation that this blog has become very very boring... oh well.... who laughs anymore? I don't... I'm grey... I'm sad... I have become goo... biiiiigg squishy goo that types at the keyboard... rraarrrrr bleh...
Lets never speak of goo being on my keyboard again (hahaha you little kids don't get that joke! I hope you don't at least... you never know with kids these days...)
OK! Back to the English Lit exam! OK, in my injokes post I said "YOU SIR!" then did a victory thingy... well... long story short: I have a competition with someone to say "you sir!" and point at the other person before they can do it back... now, this person isn't in any of my classes or even year so I never have this problem except lunch or recess... (can only say it to each other once per siren) but one person has decided they want to be part of this one-on-one competition and invited themselves on this competition... sure, I don't mind too much... I don't care really...
...but you know... when you say it to me TWICE during an EXAM that kinda annoys me.
OK a certain person decided that they would say "you sir!" to me during the exam... and because it was over 3 hours then the siren would go twice. So they're sitting there when there's a siren in the distance and he turns- MID SENTENCE- and goes "you sir!" as quiet as he can... come on why didn't anyone notice that!?
He broke SO MANY RULES! OK...
1) He brought in a pencil case, which is forbidden. All items must be brought in a plastic sleeve or carried.
2) He had PAPER (with something written/typed on it) which is also forbidden. NO NOTES OF ANY KIND! (Although they probably weren't notes and he never used them... you're still not supposed to have paper)
3) He brought in a water bottle with a label on it. Also forbidden because labels can hold notes...
4) He brought a GRAPHICS CALCULATOR to an ENGLISH LIT exam! What the hell!? Not only is that... against the rules but just plain BLOODY BIZARRE! :S Like... what?
5) He TALKED! He talked twice as I've mentioned....
Come on... seriously how did he get away with that? I don't like that... grr... he also had white out which last I heard was against the rules but apparently it's not... he asked a teacher and it's allowed just really not reccomended.... just cross things out. It takes less time...
He also did a little warm up dance in his chair... that's not against the rules... in fact... it was very amusing :D Head rolling around and shoulders moving up and down as he moved back and forth and put his arms up... incredibly weird :P And if that person is reading this then yes... yes lots of people were watching you going "wtf?"
I got my revenge on those who did not punish the guy who broke pretty much every rule... I sharpened my pencil a lot throughout the exam because I really like having my pencils really sharp. I don't get how people can write with really blunt stubbly pieces of lead just sticking out of the wood... no! It has to be sharp! Everything is in detail because if its smudged or thick it becomes far too impossible to distinguish lines in my writing and it becomes unintelligable! :P Yes, well my pencil sharpenings eventually became a very large collection on the floor as the spread out all over the carpet... I'm sure the cleaner would've hated that...
Unfortunately at the end of the exam they told everyone to clean their areas and not leave rubbish lying on the ground around them so my large amount of pencil sharpenings all of a sudden was a bad idea... even though I didn't really try to make a big pile... it just turned out that way... oh well... the things we end up inflicting upon ourselves...
Well OK! Limits of the dead? Well their limits mean that they cannot move anywhere... they also have a lot of trouble picking up guys/girls. Gee it sucks to be dead don't it? Yes... it would suck to be dead...
...which is why my mother can NEVER EVER SEE MY MATHS EXAM! OK my mother is... short description: insane. slightly longer description yet very short in comparison to a proper long one: she is insane and a perfectionist with very high standards. B's are unacceptable.
B's are bad!? I have to get an A in EVERYTHING!? Especially maths which she believes I am awesome at and she and my father are both incredibly good at and all my siblings are good at it and I've previously topped classes when it comes to maths and stuff.... gee wow I must be a disapointment getting only %43 on an exam right? I don't think I am... well I am... but not to myself. Well.... sorta... I did study an awful lot and I really was expecting a %50 but no... it was not to be! In fact, not only did I fail miserably at this maths test but I also have eliminated any A averages I had previously by doing poorly on all my other exams too! OK, I was doing so immensely well in Chemistry I could get %68 on my semester 2 exams and still pass with an A average... I got %61. So not only is that basically the lowest score I have gotten in that class the entire year but I got it on the biggest test of the entire year and no longer have an A average!
Although the %69 on my physics exam, although tragic too and detrimental to my previously A average, did put a bit of a smile on my face. If you must do poorly compared to everyone else on a test then the best you could get is a 69.... percent... (hehehe *immature giggle*)
OK, not everything is a failure. Sure, I have no idea what I got on my english lit exam (NO ONE KNOWS! Why weren't they there? hmm! The English department was sorely lacking in being organised....) and I don't even think my Drama exams were even marked....
... plus I am number one top media student for the entire year.... and have defeated my arch rival who I have fought for dominance over for the entire year and only just have managed to come on top near the end! Mwahahahaha! Watch my media project! Sure, it wasn't the one I beat him on but I have finally finished it and I want the world to see it! :)
So basically... I have achieved the only two goals I really set out to achieve this semester... 1) CRUSH my archrival and become top media student for my year! (mwahahahaha!) and 2) JUST pass intro calc... yeah, so I failed my maths exam BUT... they lowered the cut-off for a C so I still technically pass the subject :)
Remember last exams I answered a bunch of silly answers to questions? Of course you do! You are my adoring fan base.... you looooovveeeee mmeeeee!!! (raarrr! hug me!) and would never forget ANYTHING I have said in my pages and pages of ramblings... or I'd find you...
Well don't worry, I answered stupid questions to these exams too. First off, one I didn't do deliberately....
English Lit:
OK, quick run down of what happened before I get to what I wrote. OK, I sit down, we're given reading time and so I open the booklet to see what questions we have for each sections. I see a question in the Prose section and go "YES! That works so well! In fact, TWO of them are instantly incredibly easy!" then I look at the one of Poetry and instantly go "Yes! That works so well!" then look at the questions for the Drama section and go ".............................." it's like looking at questions specifically designed to annoy you by not actually having any substance or depth to them. Discuss the significance behind the title of a play!? NO! WRONG! We've had that question before and it related to poetry not drama! How do you write 3 pages on why a play is called "Oedipus"? It doesn't work... so I did the question about how earlier scenes in a play prepare you for the end... ok... fine. Sure it'll suck but at least I'll be able to write something on it...
So I start discussing why the opening scene is important in plays. I discuss how they introduce the audience to the characters and the story ect.
"You can tell by how the chorus talks directly to Oedipus and how he was the majority of the dialogue and things are focused around him that he is the main character in the play."
Then I realise.... the play is called Oedipus and all of that didn't really need to be said so in brackets I say "As stated in the title" so yeah... I spent an entire paragraph saying something that didn't need to be said because it's told to you in the flipping TITLE! Grr.... I'll get back to another thing about the English Lit exam later... it's fascinating/I want to complain
OK, in all my other exams except maths I didn't really do anything stupid... well.... besides everything... (oh I don't want my drama exam back... I did at least %15 worse in the exams I got back than I expected I would get as a minimum so considering I think I did abismal in my drama exam I'm pretty sure... I did abismal...)
Maths answers:
OK, some of them weren't really answers... more of weird things I drew on the sides of the paper. Like a stick figure looking over a cliff (I very well drawn cliff) with a stick figure behind it throwing a very large rock at it's head. Then a message next to it saying "I'd like to thank the person who wrote this exam for not including anything about factorising or cubics :)"... no mixed messages there at all! :P
I also drew a pretty awesome drawing of Alien from Alien (and Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Ressurection, Alien vs Predator and Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem) which I realised, as I was drawing it, is indeed a VERY fallic design indeed. Because well if you just look at the head by itself and get rid of the strange long, hard thing that it has in it's drooling mouth that strangely extends every now and then.... and you get this head right... it's long and slender and has no eyes and only an opening at the front where it drools profusely from... yeah... if you don't finish your drawing and only do the main shape and don't put much detail in it... you'll be getting a lot worse comments back on your maths test than just "Please don't draw on your work"
I also wrote on the top of my exam little things like:
survival guide tip #1 whatever you do don't throw away your old maths tests or papers. You never know when you might get lost in the middle of nowhere and need to start a fire. Therefore proving that maths is NOT useless and is helpful and saves 1.5e(0.01t) over log15 + 5 people a year!
hahaha...yeah.... stay in school kids! Helps you in the forest... Anyhoo, next page I wrote on the top the following:
survival guide tip #2 don't write stupid things on your maths test because it angers maths teachers and they know where you live...
And then under that was a picture of a little bald man with glasses on and blood dripping from his fangs....
....That's what maths teachers look like over here in Australia... dripping in the blood of the innocent...
Then, on a question about optimisation and what the maxium area I could get from 600m worth of wire I couldn't answer it so I wrote:
To discover the maximum potential in the things around us we must first realise the full potential in ourselves... I suggest some deep breathing exercises to cleanse the soul...
Well I know... pretty disapointing only drawing and writing a few things to keep my markers amused but I was pressed for time...
I have come to the realisation that this blog has become very very boring... oh well.... who laughs anymore? I don't... I'm grey... I'm sad... I have become goo... biiiiigg squishy goo that types at the keyboard... rraarrrrr bleh...
Lets never speak of goo being on my keyboard again (hahaha you little kids don't get that joke! I hope you don't at least... you never know with kids these days...)
OK! Back to the English Lit exam! OK, in my injokes post I said "YOU SIR!" then did a victory thingy... well... long story short: I have a competition with someone to say "you sir!" and point at the other person before they can do it back... now, this person isn't in any of my classes or even year so I never have this problem except lunch or recess... (can only say it to each other once per siren) but one person has decided they want to be part of this one-on-one competition and invited themselves on this competition... sure, I don't mind too much... I don't care really...
...but you know... when you say it to me TWICE during an EXAM that kinda annoys me.
OK a certain person decided that they would say "you sir!" to me during the exam... and because it was over 3 hours then the siren would go twice. So they're sitting there when there's a siren in the distance and he turns- MID SENTENCE- and goes "you sir!" as quiet as he can... come on why didn't anyone notice that!?
He broke SO MANY RULES! OK...
1) He brought in a pencil case, which is forbidden. All items must be brought in a plastic sleeve or carried.
2) He had PAPER (with something written/typed on it) which is also forbidden. NO NOTES OF ANY KIND! (Although they probably weren't notes and he never used them... you're still not supposed to have paper)
3) He brought in a water bottle with a label on it. Also forbidden because labels can hold notes...
4) He brought a GRAPHICS CALCULATOR to an ENGLISH LIT exam! What the hell!? Not only is that... against the rules but just plain BLOODY BIZARRE! :S Like... what?
5) He TALKED! He talked twice as I've mentioned....
Come on... seriously how did he get away with that? I don't like that... grr... he also had white out which last I heard was against the rules but apparently it's not... he asked a teacher and it's allowed just really not reccomended.... just cross things out. It takes less time...
He also did a little warm up dance in his chair... that's not against the rules... in fact... it was very amusing :D Head rolling around and shoulders moving up and down as he moved back and forth and put his arms up... incredibly weird :P And if that person is reading this then yes... yes lots of people were watching you going "wtf?"
I got my revenge on those who did not punish the guy who broke pretty much every rule... I sharpened my pencil a lot throughout the exam because I really like having my pencils really sharp. I don't get how people can write with really blunt stubbly pieces of lead just sticking out of the wood... no! It has to be sharp! Everything is in detail because if its smudged or thick it becomes far too impossible to distinguish lines in my writing and it becomes unintelligable! :P Yes, well my pencil sharpenings eventually became a very large collection on the floor as the spread out all over the carpet... I'm sure the cleaner would've hated that...
Unfortunately at the end of the exam they told everyone to clean their areas and not leave rubbish lying on the ground around them so my large amount of pencil sharpenings all of a sudden was a bad idea... even though I didn't really try to make a big pile... it just turned out that way... oh well... the things we end up inflicting upon ourselves...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Pokemon! POKEMON!? AUSTRALIA!
Pokemon... mmhmm...
SPARTA! No I mean... AUSTRALIA!
Yes! OK, faithful people of the assorted ethnic groups of the internet (i.e. people who like blogging, forums, porn, youtubers and all those weird people who use the internet for... for... useful stuff!? :S what? the internet is merely for entertainment of the Y generation! Get lost online real estate agents!) this blog is to prove that I have not abandoned my window... my precious window for all of you to look within and be confronted by the weirdness you find therein. Therein you find gold too... but not today. Maybe tomorrow? Keep visiting you'll get that gold eventually. Yes, I have been occasionally co-authoring ramblingsofcornflakes and have recently done a semi-epic blog that's 7 pages long (http://ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com/2008/11/20-minutes-is-not-enough.html) when I could've been here blogging instead but oh well... I haven't completely abadoned this blog and I still use it and I will just figure out a way to keep both of these blogs active. Neither will be too personal but oh well... I think anything on Ramblings will be more relevant to the fellow co-authors (Brooklyn, cornflake, the thing that should not be) and anything here will be more relevant to Rayne, Becca L. Blogmore and Brooke... because no one else in the world reads this? Who is Bella? :S
Speaking of epics... Baz (ha! Baz) Lurhman's EPIC film Australia is out! It is! It's true! Yes! It got 2 stars as a rating!
... what?
HAHAHAHAHA! Ooooohhh burn! I was wondering if that was going to happen! This movie has some serious hype, it's got some serious attention and it's going to be to Australia as what Lord of the Rings was to New Zealand... and I thought to myself "imagine if there was just so much hype around this... and someone gave it a bad review" and guess what? Well you don't need to guess I've already told you! Someone... gave it only TWO STARS! That's... terrible. That's abismal! If I ever got anyone giving any film I made when I was older only two stars I'd be depressed. I'd be seriously hurt and have my confidence shooken like a ball in a blender on liquify that's attached to a paint shaker thingy... the thing that makes it all even or something. You know? The thing you don't touch in stores (LIKE Bunnings! Lowest prices are just the beginning!) but you think "oooh that'd be so cool what I could do with that..." but in reality... there is nothing to do with an object that moves a pain can up and down really quickly.... what does that do!? It has one purpose alone... and that's boring. It doesn't do what it does in the simpsons (APRIL FOO- BOOM! *mushroom cloud of beer* Yes, I know someone out there will get that)
But yeah. Ouch man ouch... this review was harsh, said that there was barely any scenery, it was unartistic, failed to match up to similar movies (never seen a film compared to so many titles of films I've never heard of...) and the only person in it that did any decent acting was the little aboriginal girl who played the mixed-blood orphan (Those guys seem to be natural born actors. The Rabbit Proof Fence! Wow those poor girls... you really cared for them and they were wonderful) and Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman "struggle to establish characters we believe in or care about." - Mark Naglazas The West Australian. Ouch... I like those actors. Ouch. So yeah... long awaited Australian Epic got a bad review... ha! I laughed at that and chances are... I'm still going to see it. Because one) Nothing else is out and I am a big fan of the Australian film industry seeing how I want to be in it sometime I have to support it two) Certain people out there will get annoyed if I don't go see it with them... yes, you know who you are and you're adorable! We're not going to see Quarantine no matter how good reviews it gets... ESPECIALLY if it gets good reviews... and three) Just turn the page and you get a half a page ad for Australia with all the OTHER movie reviewers reviews all over it.
"AUSTRALIA IS SIMPLY MAGNIFICENT, ENTHRALLING Entertainment on a Grand Scale, as Spectacular an Achievement as Anything Seen in the Movies This Year." - Moviehole.com
Finally a type of hole I can enjoy... oh that sounds... so wrong.... in a reversely perversely way... (I rhyme! reversely perversely! :P ehehehe but no seriously I don't have a gender...)
"A Sun-Burnt Spectacle" - Daily Telegraph
Why are you saying great things about a movie... by comparing it to sun-burn?
"Luhrmann's Epic Triumph" - Sunday Telegraph
"We Knew Australia Would be Bib but Baz Luhrmann's Movie is Huge!" - New York observer
And there's a few more but you get the idea... Mark Nagalazas is the only one here who doesn't like this movie. Just like I'm the only one who liked Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Hahaha! Speaking of great epic movies that really suck...
2001: A Space Odyssey! Hahaha yeah hurry up and yell at me and call me ignorant and say that I hate Stanley Kubrick which is a lie... I love him. I wish he was still alive.... 79 year old men.... yeah! NO! NO! OK, sorry for... melting your mind. Trust me, one day I shall reveal to you all why 2001 is the worst movie good ol' Stanley ever made.... but not right now. (Clockwork Orange is AWESOME! Brilliant! Truly Brilliant! I'm doing the hand signals again...)
OK! This post was ACTUALLY going to be about POKEMON! (Hey little kid you like a jump rope, what do you think candy is made out of? pokemon! POKEMON!? hahaha no, actually candy is more like kodak film... free cookie points to those who get that reference!) so let it be about pokemon now!
OK, for all those out there who remember growing up as little kids and seeing Pikachu make team rocket blast off again and again everytime it would use thundershock on thier meowth hot air balloon (which... magically ALWAYS comes back?) will also remember that.... the pokemon TV series is... boring and childish really. That, and Ash NEVER GROWS UP! He's technicall 22 now... or even older I think. Why is he still wandering around and why was it legal for him to wander around anyway? And does he actually keep his mothers constant nagging advice to keep clean underwear? Who knows... who cares?
This blog is not about the TV series either (which I have found a way to download around 400 episodes of... Anime's never die... only the animators who draw them!? I wish Death Note had tons of episodes. It's 37 seem puny compared to other shows, even Full Metal Alchemist's 52 and Movie. But I guess the pure awesomeness and INGENIOUSLY constructed and perfectly written story of Death Note doesn't allow for it to be drawn out longer and longer without it dying down in pure awesomeness) This is actually about the games. The games...
... are made of awesome...
(So is my grandma's recon armour!)
My Mewtwo brings all the trainers to the yard and theyre like "damn right ur pokemons better than ours!" I could train u, but id have to charge:P
Quite simply, Pokemon games are addictive and if I haven't mentioned this before it's because I was too busy playing the games to blog. They are incredibly addictive and I love playing them! I am currently playing Ruby, I have caught Groudon with a Great Ball (Because it's GREAT!) and I have just defeated the final gym leader and I'm just training my pokemon to the point where the Elite Four will be nothing but any other old series of super hard trainers... nothing shall stand in the way of my all powerful team of Breloom (nicknamed "mgicshroom") my Swampert (nicknamed "Muddles") and... whatever.... the other ones...
AND MY MEW! (mewwwwby!) HELL YEAH I HAVE A MEW! It is awesome and it megapunches anything in it's way to death! Yes, I don't care about you, I have a MEW! Basically these games (which I have on an emulator on my computer) take up my spare moments that I get away from reading books on Psychology and New Moon (Slow... book... slow...) and now I have become a zombie at the computer screen wanting to versus more trainers! The games have a simple design with a few visual puzzles thrown in when you're nagivating things and plenty of trainers to challenge your strategy and strength and so it becomes one very addictive game that will never get old.... and the built in gameshark and codes I got from the internet that allow me to have mew from the very start of the game (as soon as I have pokeballs I can catch Mew... well... it's really hard because he's still a legendary so I need to beat him up and throw balls at his head for a while before he stays down...) I don't know why I just felt like mentioning that I still love the pokemon games. I know people out there agree with me: TV series for kids, Games are for life.
This really is the closest I get to being a gamer... I don't even play my playstation anymore... even though I have decided sometime during the holidays I will most definitely get round to melding my body to the couch and picking up that good old friend I call the controller and showing Sephiroth and Riku who the REAL keyblade master is! BAM! I've beaten Sephiroth with the kingdom key there is no better than I! Well... maybe there are people out there who actually play that game nonstop... (bonus cookie points for those who know which game I'm talking about! Hint: Not Final Fantasy IV... which I really would like to play though)
There is something about the ability to go whereever you want, capture and control beings of untold power which magical attacks that will shock, burn, freeze or poison your enemies and leave them unconscious after one hit from your fists that really appeals to me...
Mew! Mew is awesome! Cute, cuddly, mess with it and you're screwed!
SPARTA! No I mean... AUSTRALIA!
Yes! OK, faithful people of the assorted ethnic groups of the internet (i.e. people who like blogging, forums, porn, youtubers and all those weird people who use the internet for... for... useful stuff!? :S what? the internet is merely for entertainment of the Y generation! Get lost online real estate agents!) this blog is to prove that I have not abandoned my window... my precious window for all of you to look within and be confronted by the weirdness you find therein. Therein you find gold too... but not today. Maybe tomorrow? Keep visiting you'll get that gold eventually. Yes, I have been occasionally co-authoring ramblingsofcornflakes and have recently done a semi-epic blog that's 7 pages long (http://ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com/2008/11/20-minutes-is-not-enough.html) when I could've been here blogging instead but oh well... I haven't completely abadoned this blog and I still use it and I will just figure out a way to keep both of these blogs active. Neither will be too personal but oh well... I think anything on Ramblings will be more relevant to the fellow co-authors (Brooklyn, cornflake, the thing that should not be) and anything here will be more relevant to Rayne, Becca L. Blogmore and Brooke... because no one else in the world reads this? Who is Bella? :S
Speaking of epics... Baz (ha! Baz) Lurhman's EPIC film Australia is out! It is! It's true! Yes! It got 2 stars as a rating!
... what?
HAHAHAHAHA! Ooooohhh burn! I was wondering if that was going to happen! This movie has some serious hype, it's got some serious attention and it's going to be to Australia as what Lord of the Rings was to New Zealand... and I thought to myself "imagine if there was just so much hype around this... and someone gave it a bad review" and guess what? Well you don't need to guess I've already told you! Someone... gave it only TWO STARS! That's... terrible. That's abismal! If I ever got anyone giving any film I made when I was older only two stars I'd be depressed. I'd be seriously hurt and have my confidence shooken like a ball in a blender on liquify that's attached to a paint shaker thingy... the thing that makes it all even or something. You know? The thing you don't touch in stores (LIKE Bunnings! Lowest prices are just the beginning!) but you think "oooh that'd be so cool what I could do with that..." but in reality... there is nothing to do with an object that moves a pain can up and down really quickly.... what does that do!? It has one purpose alone... and that's boring. It doesn't do what it does in the simpsons (APRIL FOO- BOOM! *mushroom cloud of beer* Yes, I know someone out there will get that)
But yeah. Ouch man ouch... this review was harsh, said that there was barely any scenery, it was unartistic, failed to match up to similar movies (never seen a film compared to so many titles of films I've never heard of...) and the only person in it that did any decent acting was the little aboriginal girl who played the mixed-blood orphan (Those guys seem to be natural born actors. The Rabbit Proof Fence! Wow those poor girls... you really cared for them and they were wonderful) and Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman "struggle to establish characters we believe in or care about." - Mark Naglazas The West Australian. Ouch... I like those actors. Ouch. So yeah... long awaited Australian Epic got a bad review... ha! I laughed at that and chances are... I'm still going to see it. Because one) Nothing else is out and I am a big fan of the Australian film industry seeing how I want to be in it sometime I have to support it two) Certain people out there will get annoyed if I don't go see it with them... yes, you know who you are and you're adorable! We're not going to see Quarantine no matter how good reviews it gets... ESPECIALLY if it gets good reviews... and three) Just turn the page and you get a half a page ad for Australia with all the OTHER movie reviewers reviews all over it.
"AUSTRALIA IS SIMPLY MAGNIFICENT, ENTHRALLING Entertainment on a Grand Scale, as Spectacular an Achievement as Anything Seen in the Movies This Year." - Moviehole.com
Finally a type of hole I can enjoy... oh that sounds... so wrong.... in a reversely perversely way... (I rhyme! reversely perversely! :P ehehehe but no seriously I don't have a gender...)
"A Sun-Burnt Spectacle" - Daily Telegraph
Why are you saying great things about a movie... by comparing it to sun-burn?
"Luhrmann's Epic Triumph" - Sunday Telegraph
"We Knew Australia Would be Bib but Baz Luhrmann's Movie is Huge!" - New York observer
And there's a few more but you get the idea... Mark Nagalazas is the only one here who doesn't like this movie. Just like I'm the only one who liked Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Hahaha! Speaking of great epic movies that really suck...
2001: A Space Odyssey! Hahaha yeah hurry up and yell at me and call me ignorant and say that I hate Stanley Kubrick which is a lie... I love him. I wish he was still alive.... 79 year old men.... yeah! NO! NO! OK, sorry for... melting your mind. Trust me, one day I shall reveal to you all why 2001 is the worst movie good ol' Stanley ever made.... but not right now. (Clockwork Orange is AWESOME! Brilliant! Truly Brilliant! I'm doing the hand signals again...)
OK! This post was ACTUALLY going to be about POKEMON! (Hey little kid you like a jump rope, what do you think candy is made out of? pokemon! POKEMON!? hahaha no, actually candy is more like kodak film... free cookie points to those who get that reference!) so let it be about pokemon now!
OK, for all those out there who remember growing up as little kids and seeing Pikachu make team rocket blast off again and again everytime it would use thundershock on thier meowth hot air balloon (which... magically ALWAYS comes back?) will also remember that.... the pokemon TV series is... boring and childish really. That, and Ash NEVER GROWS UP! He's technicall 22 now... or even older I think. Why is he still wandering around and why was it legal for him to wander around anyway? And does he actually keep his mothers constant nagging advice to keep clean underwear? Who knows... who cares?
This blog is not about the TV series either (which I have found a way to download around 400 episodes of... Anime's never die... only the animators who draw them!? I wish Death Note had tons of episodes. It's 37 seem puny compared to other shows, even Full Metal Alchemist's 52 and Movie. But I guess the pure awesomeness and INGENIOUSLY constructed and perfectly written story of Death Note doesn't allow for it to be drawn out longer and longer without it dying down in pure awesomeness) This is actually about the games. The games...
... are made of awesome...
(So is my grandma's recon armour!)
My Mewtwo brings all the trainers to the yard and theyre like "damn right ur pokemons better than ours!" I could train u, but id have to charge:P
Quite simply, Pokemon games are addictive and if I haven't mentioned this before it's because I was too busy playing the games to blog. They are incredibly addictive and I love playing them! I am currently playing Ruby, I have caught Groudon with a Great Ball (Because it's GREAT!) and I have just defeated the final gym leader and I'm just training my pokemon to the point where the Elite Four will be nothing but any other old series of super hard trainers... nothing shall stand in the way of my all powerful team of Breloom (nicknamed "mgicshroom") my Swampert (nicknamed "Muddles") and... whatever.... the other ones...
AND MY MEW! (mewwwwby!) HELL YEAH I HAVE A MEW! It is awesome and it megapunches anything in it's way to death! Yes, I don't care about you, I have a MEW! Basically these games (which I have on an emulator on my computer) take up my spare moments that I get away from reading books on Psychology and New Moon (Slow... book... slow...) and now I have become a zombie at the computer screen wanting to versus more trainers! The games have a simple design with a few visual puzzles thrown in when you're nagivating things and plenty of trainers to challenge your strategy and strength and so it becomes one very addictive game that will never get old.... and the built in gameshark and codes I got from the internet that allow me to have mew from the very start of the game (as soon as I have pokeballs I can catch Mew... well... it's really hard because he's still a legendary so I need to beat him up and throw balls at his head for a while before he stays down...) I don't know why I just felt like mentioning that I still love the pokemon games. I know people out there agree with me: TV series for kids, Games are for life.
This really is the closest I get to being a gamer... I don't even play my playstation anymore... even though I have decided sometime during the holidays I will most definitely get round to melding my body to the couch and picking up that good old friend I call the controller and showing Sephiroth and Riku who the REAL keyblade master is! BAM! I've beaten Sephiroth with the kingdom key there is no better than I! Well... maybe there are people out there who actually play that game nonstop... (bonus cookie points for those who know which game I'm talking about! Hint: Not Final Fantasy IV... which I really would like to play though)
There is something about the ability to go whereever you want, capture and control beings of untold power which magical attacks that will shock, burn, freeze or poison your enemies and leave them unconscious after one hit from your fists that really appeals to me...
Mew! Mew is awesome! Cute, cuddly, mess with it and you're screwed!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Terrorists use tickle Torture
OK! If you haven't read my previous post then who cares? It's just telling you that I didn't write anything in that post because I lost it all! And before I tell you what I think I wrote I'd just like to mention that my monitor is all screwey and once again (yes, again for those who knew already) it has lost the ability to display red... yep. The 3 primary colours of light are red, green and blue and when you take one of those away it becomes very hard to show many things properly on the screen... so now everything is a weird shade of blue... especially anything that is white it now cyan. Speaking of colours and light... I'VE FINISHED MY EXAMS! (Light is part of physics... physics exam) but I'll mention that later on because otherwise people will come to my house and hurt me (They want me to blog about a certain something) My monitor is also got a loose power cord in the back of it so if I try to fiddle around with it to solve the problem with the colour by adjusting the cords correctly the power goes out and when you keep suddenly connecting it to power then off then on again it starts to make a very unsettling crackling noise....
OK! I uh... pressed a button and everything went weird... OK! Anyhoo, enough of trying to solve my problem of the screen being nothing but weird shades of green and blue (SO MUCH BLUE!) I shall now continue to blog...
OK! Well Friday... (Let's just call it "Friday"... for that be the day that it happened on...) I woke up very early after staying up very late (Which turns out to be later than I thought because my computer's clock is an hour slow... I don't when that happened but it magically fixed itself so my computer has been messing with my head for a while now and I haven't noticed...) and so I had to go do stuff while I waited to go do other stuff... I had a plan for that entire day! And none of it went quite as I wanted it to because.... well.... it didn't. I can't plan the future perfectly merely predict it (I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME!) but yeah... first thing I needed to do (Against my will... I think I was promised money... I never got any) was to break up the massive amounts of bamboo in my backyard. You see, although we live in a 3 story mansion with an ocean view and two balconey's ect... the fact that you have several square metres of palm trees and bamboo that are over two stories tall in the way of your ocean view you kinda decide it's time to cut them down... especially when half of it is dead. Well that's simple enough! They're all on the ground now and someone (who is incredibly muscular) needs to help my poor old mother to snap these massive 3-4 metre long bamboo sticks of death into suitable sized pieces to be carried out of the backyard and onto the giant heap of rubbish accumulating on our front yard... (as is the custom here in Australia... No really I'm not lying... we have this bulk rubbish collection thing where we dump our rubbish like old furniture, broken TV's, trees we've cut up but have no where to put, fridges, small children we don't want ect and a big truck comes round, chews it up and compacts it and what happens then who knows!? I don't care! It get's rid of chairs and siblings I don't like! I used to live in a family of 22! There's only 6 of us left including my parents!) So I basically needed to be a sexy lumberjack (Hey ladies! Sorry I'm taken by the world's cutest woman and she'll kick and scream and make sad puppy faces if you take away her Mr Cuddles... yeah everyone else mocks me for that why not let the whole internet know?) and I broke up all those pieces of bamboo... some of them quite violently (I was hyper ok?) and my brother started a conversation about wanting to have a panda. We have lots of bamboo why not make the panda eat it? Well because it would run out very quickly... it be a hungry panda! So I suggested we simply feed it small children who come to trick or treat at our house (which I think I've mentioned doesn't happen anymore... the local children have realised they normally will die if they come to our house on halloween and rarely ever get candy in return...) but unfortunately those would run out quite quickly too... this is really sad... I WANT A PANDA! Panda's are cute! I'm stealing one from the zoo! Just like THIS video!:
yeah you like that... yeah... yeah you do...
It was then decided we weren't getting a panda... and then had to quickly get ready to go to a friends house.... now the great thing about this person is they live in the same suburb as me so shouldn't take long to get to!
... Now the only flaw with that is I don't know what my suburb looks like! And I'm starting to remind myself of someone I know (HELLO! Yeah I know you're reading this... I'm going to point this out to you just for the sake of you reading that one line! Now stop reading, everything that happens after this I've already told you) because they quite simply get around their own suburb either.... we're both very very sheltered.... and dysfunctional... Well anyway, this will be easy! I'll just take a different way than I did last time I went to her house because the other way involves walking a long way then turning a corner and doing a 180 and going along parallel to the way I just walked only backwards and I can't be bothered doing that! So I decided I'd go a different way, one that will cut a bunch of time off my trip which involves finding a path that cuts through these two parallel paths so I don't need to walk as much....
...What happened in reality is I went down a road, realised that it didn't go anywhere so I had to walk all the way back up it, find a different road, also went nowhere, wondered if that was actually indeed the road I wanted so I went down it again, I wandered around until I had NO IDEA where I was and kept making my way back and forth the same roads again and again thinking "OK I'm late... I know I'm late... and my legs hurt..." So yeah... I have lived in this suburb for about... 11 years and I get lost in it after 10 minutes of walking towards something I know where it is! Yeah... I'm a special one I am....
Anyhoo, I got there eventually and then after all that walking guess what we do? We go for a walk with the dog! (Who enjoys urinating.... he is an endless source of liquid... he doesn't stop peeing dammit! After one walk to the beach and back every bit of foliage we encountered no longer had a problem with the drought...) ok that is really fun! I can handle walking some more...
Now I won't tell you what happened during that walk... but everyone we encountered my friend seemed to know (except one guy who I knew...) and a few even asked if I was her boyfriend.... they also wondered if I was 13 :S WHAT!? I HAVE A BEARD! I'm nearly 6 feet tall, have a beard and biceps big enough to pick anyone who isn't obese up! How they thought I could possibly be 13-14 I don't know... but they are stupid... and no I wasn't her boyfriend but the way she was acting you could never tell! (She's a lot more comfortable around me than I am with her..... A LOT more comfortable...) and then we went home...
.... well... I carried her home... well... only a bit of the way but I did it to prove a point... I think... (And I did a very good job of picking her up and carrying her!)
anyhoo.... I wonder how personal this blog is becoming... I don't know... the evil terrorist (which we all know is keeping my hostage and forcing me to blog) told me to blog about friday (on friday) so I am blogging about friday! And speaking of being forced to blog about friday on a friday that's when I was blogging and it all went away... She got me a laptop and told me to blog... and hit me and stuff. She wanted me to blog a really big and long blog before she got back from some other room (I don't know where she went... in fact I have no idea what is actually in her house besides Gilmore Girls DVD's, Books, and a dog that watches me through the glass sliding door...) which we all know is impossible because I can only type so fast! So she hit me a bit..... which sounds pretty terrorist like but no... no this terrorist isn't just violent she has discovered something new! A NEW way to torture me!
...she tickles me....
...I don't know how she discovered I was like a big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" but I am... yes... I am a "big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" " OK? That's a technical term that is... anyhoo... yeah. One moment she's on msn talking about how gosh darn looking I am (The funny thing is I'm not lying!.... sorta! Well... she didn't really say it like that but it is interpreted as me being attractive in some way..... she... was probably joking :( I feel sad now.... she doesn't honestly think I'm that sexy!... which... is a good thing because I don't want her too :P) and the next moment I'm on the floor spasming like a fish of out water who is being tazered by a very very sadistic little kid who is screaming "BURN FISH BURN! WIGGLE AROUND SOME MORE!"
And then I died....
....nah I'm just kidding with you I didn't die... as much as I would've liked to for a while because I really DON'T like being tickled! It is one of the most absolutely awful sensations that I have ever experienced... I enjoy being electrocuted more than I enjoy being tickled and I know what it feels like to hook yourself up to the 240V main power and FEEL YOUR MUSCLES GET SHOCKED! It is INCREDIBLY unpleasant and PAINFUL being electrocuted... so remember kids... when people tell you don't put anything in the powerpoint or touch exposed wires or whatever the hell it is that might look like it'll hurt.... DON'T TOUCH IT! It's like a kick to the face.... all over your body... anyhoo... yes, uncontrollable spasms and a really really weird tingling sensation all over the body as ten very evil fingers somehow make their way past my flailing arms in my strange attempt to defend myself is not very fun at all... please never talk to me again I hate you and your dog... no! No I'm kidding! I forgive you for tickling me.... a lot... don't do it again....
Terrorists... they use tickle torture now... beware CIA agents and people in Iraq! Your guns will be useless against a very quick terrorist man and his feather duster! Once they get you on the ground and their on you there's nothing you can do but feel them touch you all over!... That sounds so very wrong... as it should be... because who honestly wants to be defending their country from terrorism when all of a sudden a crazy guy with a big beard jumps on you and goes "tickle tickle tickle! oh yes I'm going to touch your armpits with my wiggly fingers!"? That's just bizarre... no.... just no...
I also had to walk around afterwards but thankfully had a very kind offer to drive me home because it was raining :) Thankyou! If only you could've driven me around some more! I had much walking around to do later on in the day but I'm not blogging about that because who really needs to know what I do? Who really needs to know? You? NO! Stop... stalking me loyal fanbase! Grr! I hate you all! All you ever do is... is... appreciate me! And... read what I spent nearly an hour on writing and... and uh... being friendly... grr! It's so maddening and annoying how you laugh at the things I write even though I want some of them to be kinda funny! Bah! Grr! Agh... yes... I literally am making those noises as we speak! I am going "Bah grr agh".... what else do you think a big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" is going to do while blogging? I constantly go "bah grr agh" when blogging... I'm a broken record and I eat small children for breakfast...
I BLOGGED! Can I have some bread and water now please? I'm ever so hungry and thirsty....
OK! I uh... pressed a button and everything went weird... OK! Anyhoo, enough of trying to solve my problem of the screen being nothing but weird shades of green and blue (SO MUCH BLUE!) I shall now continue to blog...
OK! Well Friday... (Let's just call it "Friday"... for that be the day that it happened on...) I woke up very early after staying up very late (Which turns out to be later than I thought because my computer's clock is an hour slow... I don't when that happened but it magically fixed itself so my computer has been messing with my head for a while now and I haven't noticed...) and so I had to go do stuff while I waited to go do other stuff... I had a plan for that entire day! And none of it went quite as I wanted it to because.... well.... it didn't. I can't plan the future perfectly merely predict it (I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME!) but yeah... first thing I needed to do (Against my will... I think I was promised money... I never got any) was to break up the massive amounts of bamboo in my backyard. You see, although we live in a 3 story mansion with an ocean view and two balconey's ect... the fact that you have several square metres of palm trees and bamboo that are over two stories tall in the way of your ocean view you kinda decide it's time to cut them down... especially when half of it is dead. Well that's simple enough! They're all on the ground now and someone (who is incredibly muscular) needs to help my poor old mother to snap these massive 3-4 metre long bamboo sticks of death into suitable sized pieces to be carried out of the backyard and onto the giant heap of rubbish accumulating on our front yard... (as is the custom here in Australia... No really I'm not lying... we have this bulk rubbish collection thing where we dump our rubbish like old furniture, broken TV's, trees we've cut up but have no where to put, fridges, small children we don't want ect and a big truck comes round, chews it up and compacts it and what happens then who knows!? I don't care! It get's rid of chairs and siblings I don't like! I used to live in a family of 22! There's only 6 of us left including my parents!) So I basically needed to be a sexy lumberjack (Hey ladies! Sorry I'm taken by the world's cutest woman and she'll kick and scream and make sad puppy faces if you take away her Mr Cuddles... yeah everyone else mocks me for that why not let the whole internet know?) and I broke up all those pieces of bamboo... some of them quite violently (I was hyper ok?) and my brother started a conversation about wanting to have a panda. We have lots of bamboo why not make the panda eat it? Well because it would run out very quickly... it be a hungry panda! So I suggested we simply feed it small children who come to trick or treat at our house (which I think I've mentioned doesn't happen anymore... the local children have realised they normally will die if they come to our house on halloween and rarely ever get candy in return...) but unfortunately those would run out quite quickly too... this is really sad... I WANT A PANDA! Panda's are cute! I'm stealing one from the zoo! Just like THIS video!:
yeah you like that... yeah... yeah you do...
It was then decided we weren't getting a panda... and then had to quickly get ready to go to a friends house.... now the great thing about this person is they live in the same suburb as me so shouldn't take long to get to!
... Now the only flaw with that is I don't know what my suburb looks like! And I'm starting to remind myself of someone I know (HELLO! Yeah I know you're reading this... I'm going to point this out to you just for the sake of you reading that one line! Now stop reading, everything that happens after this I've already told you) because they quite simply get around their own suburb either.... we're both very very sheltered.... and dysfunctional... Well anyway, this will be easy! I'll just take a different way than I did last time I went to her house because the other way involves walking a long way then turning a corner and doing a 180 and going along parallel to the way I just walked only backwards and I can't be bothered doing that! So I decided I'd go a different way, one that will cut a bunch of time off my trip which involves finding a path that cuts through these two parallel paths so I don't need to walk as much....
...What happened in reality is I went down a road, realised that it didn't go anywhere so I had to walk all the way back up it, find a different road, also went nowhere, wondered if that was actually indeed the road I wanted so I went down it again, I wandered around until I had NO IDEA where I was and kept making my way back and forth the same roads again and again thinking "OK I'm late... I know I'm late... and my legs hurt..." So yeah... I have lived in this suburb for about... 11 years and I get lost in it after 10 minutes of walking towards something I know where it is! Yeah... I'm a special one I am....
Anyhoo, I got there eventually and then after all that walking guess what we do? We go for a walk with the dog! (Who enjoys urinating.... he is an endless source of liquid... he doesn't stop peeing dammit! After one walk to the beach and back every bit of foliage we encountered no longer had a problem with the drought...) ok that is really fun! I can handle walking some more...
Now I won't tell you what happened during that walk... but everyone we encountered my friend seemed to know (except one guy who I knew...) and a few even asked if I was her boyfriend.... they also wondered if I was 13 :S WHAT!? I HAVE A BEARD! I'm nearly 6 feet tall, have a beard and biceps big enough to pick anyone who isn't obese up! How they thought I could possibly be 13-14 I don't know... but they are stupid... and no I wasn't her boyfriend but the way she was acting you could never tell! (She's a lot more comfortable around me than I am with her..... A LOT more comfortable...) and then we went home...
.... well... I carried her home... well... only a bit of the way but I did it to prove a point... I think... (And I did a very good job of picking her up and carrying her!)
anyhoo.... I wonder how personal this blog is becoming... I don't know... the evil terrorist (which we all know is keeping my hostage and forcing me to blog) told me to blog about friday (on friday) so I am blogging about friday! And speaking of being forced to blog about friday on a friday that's when I was blogging and it all went away... She got me a laptop and told me to blog... and hit me and stuff. She wanted me to blog a really big and long blog before she got back from some other room (I don't know where she went... in fact I have no idea what is actually in her house besides Gilmore Girls DVD's, Books, and a dog that watches me through the glass sliding door...) which we all know is impossible because I can only type so fast! So she hit me a bit..... which sounds pretty terrorist like but no... no this terrorist isn't just violent she has discovered something new! A NEW way to torture me!
...she tickles me....
...I don't know how she discovered I was like a big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" but I am... yes... I am a "big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" " OK? That's a technical term that is... anyhoo... yeah. One moment she's on msn talking about how gosh darn looking I am (The funny thing is I'm not lying!.... sorta! Well... she didn't really say it like that but it is interpreted as me being attractive in some way..... she... was probably joking :( I feel sad now.... she doesn't honestly think I'm that sexy!... which... is a good thing because I don't want her too :P) and the next moment I'm on the floor spasming like a fish of out water who is being tazered by a very very sadistic little kid who is screaming "BURN FISH BURN! WIGGLE AROUND SOME MORE!"
And then I died....
....nah I'm just kidding with you I didn't die... as much as I would've liked to for a while because I really DON'T like being tickled! It is one of the most absolutely awful sensations that I have ever experienced... I enjoy being electrocuted more than I enjoy being tickled and I know what it feels like to hook yourself up to the 240V main power and FEEL YOUR MUSCLES GET SHOCKED! It is INCREDIBLY unpleasant and PAINFUL being electrocuted... so remember kids... when people tell you don't put anything in the powerpoint or touch exposed wires or whatever the hell it is that might look like it'll hurt.... DON'T TOUCH IT! It's like a kick to the face.... all over your body... anyhoo... yes, uncontrollable spasms and a really really weird tingling sensation all over the body as ten very evil fingers somehow make their way past my flailing arms in my strange attempt to defend myself is not very fun at all... please never talk to me again I hate you and your dog... no! No I'm kidding! I forgive you for tickling me.... a lot... don't do it again....
Terrorists... they use tickle torture now... beware CIA agents and people in Iraq! Your guns will be useless against a very quick terrorist man and his feather duster! Once they get you on the ground and their on you there's nothing you can do but feel them touch you all over!... That sounds so very wrong... as it should be... because who honestly wants to be defending their country from terrorism when all of a sudden a crazy guy with a big beard jumps on you and goes "tickle tickle tickle! oh yes I'm going to touch your armpits with my wiggly fingers!"? That's just bizarre... no.... just no...
I also had to walk around afterwards but thankfully had a very kind offer to drive me home because it was raining :) Thankyou! If only you could've driven me around some more! I had much walking around to do later on in the day but I'm not blogging about that because who really needs to know what I do? Who really needs to know? You? NO! Stop... stalking me loyal fanbase! Grr! I hate you all! All you ever do is... is... appreciate me! And... read what I spent nearly an hour on writing and... and uh... being friendly... grr! It's so maddening and annoying how you laugh at the things I write even though I want some of them to be kinda funny! Bah! Grr! Agh... yes... I literally am making those noises as we speak! I am going "Bah grr agh".... what else do you think a big ball of "GEGGDGJGYIU*SPASM*" is going to do while blogging? I constantly go "bah grr agh" when blogging... I'm a broken record and I eat small children for breakfast...
I BLOGGED! Can I have some bread and water now please? I'm ever so hungry and thirsty....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
On the couch with friends
......damn.....
... oh well....
I went to the beach and wrote a bunch of stuff but's gone now and Becca L. Blogmore is going to hurt me.... OW!.... I'm tired... goodnight
I'll write it later
Also, Rayne is playing with my nose right now....
hello! if someone in particular is reading this then yeah... nothings changed since last year :) And it's bloody fun....
... oh well....
I went to the beach and wrote a bunch of stuff but's gone now and Becca L. Blogmore is going to hurt me.... OW!.... I'm tired... goodnight
I'll write it later
Also, Rayne is playing with my nose right now....
hello! if someone in particular is reading this then yeah... nothings changed since last year :) And it's bloody fun....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
WOOT! Bilby's and The Light!
YYEEEEEAAAHHH BABY! Guess what? I have finally finished The Light! At an impressive 9 minutes 13 seconds including credits (sorry youtube, you don't get that! You'll eventually get the lower quality version... thats 100mb large and 8 minutes 50 something) it has taken me several edits, reshoots (I don't know if I've mentioned this before but one one scene, the hardest scene, one of the most important scenes that involve the most work and editing and effort to make perfect... and I screw it up... Well you see I wasn't wearing a shirt because it would be easier just to wear the same shirt, which I had multiple ones of because it's my school shirt, and so I'm walking along with my shirt on, I step onto the road with my shirt on... I get hit by a car with my jumper on and fall to the ground with my shirt on... wait... my clothes magically changed! :O! And the annoying thing about this was I filmed it like that, watched it, reviewed it, spent ages editing it and watched it several times... when I go to show the class what I had done it comes to that scene and someone goes "you've got a jumper on"... wait... what!? DAMMIT! WHY!? So that had to be refilmed...) and I have even had to record music for it about 4 times now... but it's done... it's nice and shiny and pretty much good enough...
I had to go to a cemetary in my school uniform during the holidays and take flowers from nearby trees because I forgot to bring flowers and I had to get my mother to run me over with a car but it was worth it! It's finally done!....
.... an entire semester after it was due! It was my 3rd last day of the YEAR today (when I finished it) and I've had this as my media project since.... start of Term 2... yeah so I've had 3 quarters of the school year to do this and I've finished it.... and it didn't turn out as I had originally planned but I'm happy with what I've done. It's just a school project and I think I did pretty well considering all the bad things that have happened! So yay! :D
OH! Oh! Guess what!? Free dress tomorrow! Yes, poor old us (Here in Australia) have these things called Uniforms (as mentioned above) and so we have to spend about one minute each day going "hmm... wear white shirt with blue pants... or other white shirt with blue pants...." (Upper school really messes with you... you get the option of Blue Jumper with white shirt, Blue and White striped Jumper with White Shirt and for Year 12's they have Blue with White Sleeved Jumper with White Shirt... MY WORD! Had there been more than two colours no one would be able to make up their mind and the entire population of teenagers would be 20 minutes late for school!) but tomorrow we get the choice of wearing whatever we want!.... within reason... (I cannot wear a bikini... but I can wear... MY PYJAMAS! :D OH I'M SO DOING THAT! And for those who know me... you know I will... as I have done this previously... I have danced to Green Day in the middle of the Swan river in my pyjama's and tomorrow I shall dress in my Trench Coat and Pyjamas and become Tom Baker's 4th Doctor meets Arthurt Dent :D Because British TV and Literary characters are awesome!)
But the very fact that I get to wear something very odd isn't the point... nor the real source of my excitement... for you see we need to give a gold coin donation if we want to wear clothes.... of our choice... Now all you Americans think that's abismal having to pay to be allowed to wear something that isn't white with a school emblem on it... but get over it! We don't care! And this particular charity that the school is donating to... is purely awesome...
It's going to save...
...The Bilby...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOOYAH!
YES! Finally! Come on people bring your gold coin donations! (Once again, Americans have 1 dollar notes... we have 1 and 2 dollar gold coins... made of real gold... we're rich! Nah just kidding :P) It also goes to save this other native Australian animal which has a weird name I don't know how to spell... but trust me it's cute, it's adorable, it's endangered, it will hunt you down and scratch at you and lick the soles of your feet until you submit unless you donate money! So yeah... tomorrow I am going to do my part to help preserve our amasing and wonderful native Fauna because we really do have such interesting, wonderful and unique native animals that really should be round for years and years to come. They truly are wonderful I adore them all (except for drop bears... yeah Americans... fear the drop bear! It shall eat your face... at night the screams of many a victim of the drop bear still haunt me to this very day...) so let's all just try not to kill them shall we? I love them :) I want them to have babies... so there'll be more of them... just... not with me...
Anyhoo! Well also, NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG!
Think I've made what's coming up next clear? NEW BLOG!
http://ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com/
Yes, It is my NEW BLOG! It currently only has two authors though... but I'm trying to get more of my friends to contribute to it... So you know if you enjoy this blog (and even if you don't!) you should go pay it a visit... it's quite small right now with only 3 posts on it but it will get bigger... and shinier... it's co-authored by me and The High Priestess of Wikipedia so trust me when she starts blogging you'll love it :) (Just like a furry animal!) It's basically a collection of random blogs so yeah... go visit it sometime and check back after a week or two when it might have a new entry to it...
Have a nice day :)
I had to go to a cemetary in my school uniform during the holidays and take flowers from nearby trees because I forgot to bring flowers and I had to get my mother to run me over with a car but it was worth it! It's finally done!....
.... an entire semester after it was due! It was my 3rd last day of the YEAR today (when I finished it) and I've had this as my media project since.... start of Term 2... yeah so I've had 3 quarters of the school year to do this and I've finished it.... and it didn't turn out as I had originally planned but I'm happy with what I've done. It's just a school project and I think I did pretty well considering all the bad things that have happened! So yay! :D
OH! Oh! Guess what!? Free dress tomorrow! Yes, poor old us (Here in Australia) have these things called Uniforms (as mentioned above) and so we have to spend about one minute each day going "hmm... wear white shirt with blue pants... or other white shirt with blue pants...." (Upper school really messes with you... you get the option of Blue Jumper with white shirt, Blue and White striped Jumper with White Shirt and for Year 12's they have Blue with White Sleeved Jumper with White Shirt... MY WORD! Had there been more than two colours no one would be able to make up their mind and the entire population of teenagers would be 20 minutes late for school!) but tomorrow we get the choice of wearing whatever we want!.... within reason... (I cannot wear a bikini... but I can wear... MY PYJAMAS! :D OH I'M SO DOING THAT! And for those who know me... you know I will... as I have done this previously... I have danced to Green Day in the middle of the Swan river in my pyjama's and tomorrow I shall dress in my Trench Coat and Pyjamas and become Tom Baker's 4th Doctor meets Arthurt Dent :D Because British TV and Literary characters are awesome!)
But the very fact that I get to wear something very odd isn't the point... nor the real source of my excitement... for you see we need to give a gold coin donation if we want to wear clothes.... of our choice... Now all you Americans think that's abismal having to pay to be allowed to wear something that isn't white with a school emblem on it... but get over it! We don't care! And this particular charity that the school is donating to... is purely awesome...
It's going to save...
...The Bilby...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOOYAH!
YES! Finally! Come on people bring your gold coin donations! (Once again, Americans have 1 dollar notes... we have 1 and 2 dollar gold coins... made of real gold... we're rich! Nah just kidding :P) It also goes to save this other native Australian animal which has a weird name I don't know how to spell... but trust me it's cute, it's adorable, it's endangered, it will hunt you down and scratch at you and lick the soles of your feet until you submit unless you donate money! So yeah... tomorrow I am going to do my part to help preserve our amasing and wonderful native Fauna because we really do have such interesting, wonderful and unique native animals that really should be round for years and years to come. They truly are wonderful I adore them all (except for drop bears... yeah Americans... fear the drop bear! It shall eat your face... at night the screams of many a victim of the drop bear still haunt me to this very day...) so let's all just try not to kill them shall we? I love them :) I want them to have babies... so there'll be more of them... just... not with me...
Anyhoo! Well also, NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG!
Think I've made what's coming up next clear? NEW BLOG!
http://ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com/
Yes, It is my NEW BLOG! It currently only has two authors though... but I'm trying to get more of my friends to contribute to it... So you know if you enjoy this blog (and even if you don't!) you should go pay it a visit... it's quite small right now with only 3 posts on it but it will get bigger... and shinier... it's co-authored by me and The High Priestess of Wikipedia so trust me when she starts blogging you'll love it :) (Just like a furry animal!) It's basically a collection of random blogs so yeah... go visit it sometime and check back after a week or two when it might have a new entry to it...
Have a nice day :)
Friday, October 31, 2008
This is Halloween
OK! Halloween, time the butt ugly come out to play... as in all the annoying little neighbourhood kids. Anonymity rules! I can insult anyone! Although apparently my anonymity is being threatened by some anonymous person who is most likely reading this... OH! OH! Another idea! :D hahaha! OK, Becca (the evil terrorist who still forces me to blog even as we speak!.... which... is what I'm doing right now...) might have recommended her favourite blog to people (who wouldn't?) and so you, mysterious stranger, may be a friend of hers! Yes! If I have guessed correctly then I am brilliant and wonderful! If I have guessed incorrectly I would have only have increased my number of suspects to a bigger number... one that will take time to shrink. Well I have determined that you're not a friend of my girlfriend and you're located within Australia (unless your friend is in Australia but you yourself live in New Zealand! Which is unlikely because... she was looking over your shoulder during your last blog entry so therefore you must definitely be in Australia and I have also proved that people read your blog and pay attention to the things in it!) OK... well you're therefore the friend of potentially a bunch of people I know...
... and then all of a sudden there's a murder in the Library and Marple and Poirot bind together to make one big SUPER DETECTIVE! They must solve the mystery of who the hell are you Brooklyn!? and the dead body in the library... dang... man that's going to smell in a couple of days you might want to move it... hmmm ye gad...
BLOGGING IS FUN!
Anyhoo, halloween... yes it's so much fun! I love it I really do... even though I've never trick and/or treated in my life... well... unless you really count what I'm about to tell you what I do as tricking... yes! OK maybe it does :) Well my mother (being the stern woman she is) has decided that I need to be protected from the friendly neighbourhood PSYCHOPATHS! (We all know one... don't we just? mwahahagagagagjahagawa! Bizarre maniacal laughs are fun!) so I'm basically not allowed to take candy from strangers... yeah also need to be home before 8... Yeah but before then I can go out and do whatever I want, knock on doors ect... I just can't EAT STUFF! Which is fine because I don't actually like sugar that much (and I am a horribly twisted mutant who doesn't even like CHOCOLATE! AGH! RUN AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE!) so I have learnt to compensate for not getting sugar on this 31st of October by doing other things to amuse myself...
... evil... things....
... dark... twisted...
...things....
.... that don't involve eggs...
What they do involve is my friend (yes I have friends too Mrs B. You're not the only one with an odd friend who does things and tells you stuff and talks when talked to! ha!) We basically go round to local houses with whatever strange idea we have for that particular year and do it. Well by that I mean we get really enthusiastic, come up with a brilliantly funny idea and he chickens out constantly and I nag him "come on this house! It has lights on! oh that one is in the open! Come on just one house..." until we eventually knock on about two or three doors then go home... of course this takes about an hour or two of walking around aimlessly before we achieve what we came out here to do. "WHAT THE HELL IS IT YOU DO!? TELL US DARNIT! TEEEEELLLL UUUSSSS!!!" you might be screaming at your computer screen right now with anticipation (I like it when people yell things in anticipation... means they're anticipating something... :P yeah!) well it's simple: we do odd things... such as the following:
First year we came up with this annual tradition it was simple. Christmas Carolling for money. Yeah, that's right, we went round (completely costumeless) and decided to go christmas carolling around at places for money! One person just smiled, shoved candy into our hands and said "happy halloween" before trying to get rid of us before we could even tell her that WE DIDN'T WANT YOUR CANDY WOMAN! Yeah I know I shouldn't yell but LET US SING DARNIT! IT'S HALLOWEEN! So yeah, ended up singing very little songs that evening because neither of us could actually sing and no one actually wanted us too... except one house that was very amused by this idea and told us to wait when they went to get their wallets so they could pay us for half a rendition of "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" before we decided to walk briskly/run away... then I went home to watch Mythbusters (which was the style at the time)
Second year we did this... I think that was the year we handed out business cards........ for the mafia :) Need a hit-man? Call us! Don't need one? We whack you! We left them on people's cars, underneath their newly delivered yellow pages and even tryed handed them out to people walking past (who then met up with us again and asked for more... we denied the cards existence. We've never heard of this "mafia" you speak of and definitely do not promote killing people for money......... *shifty eyes*) The last thing we did was knock on the door of the person across the street from my friends house (he hid in the bushes of his house so he wasn't seen by his neighbours... why come along dude? You just try to avoid being seen or doing anything!) and handed the card to a slightly confused/entertained middle aged woman... who I then asked for money from and she laughed at me and said "no." So I said she shouldn't mess with me I'm part of the mafia... which mob of gangsters I was part of and who their leader (if any) was completely unclear to her... and me really... Strange how that mafia doesn't actually seem to exist...
OK I think we missed a year sometime but the next time we did someone we decided to print out satanic business cards (call 666-666-669...2) which had a pentagram in the middle and the Star of David around the edges (I apologise to the Jewish culture for that... but you know, I was going to see if anyone actually noticed the difference... no one did... in fact I don't remember even handing out any...)Well that year was pretty boring...
Last year! woo! yeah! My friends who were online that night when I got home should know this story very well (Hey ya coolest cheerleader around! :P Yeah you know who you are!... even if you probably will never read this... even though I'll tell you to on monday or something... everyone else who reads this who know who I'm talking about tell her that I mentioned her so she can go "oh cool! awesome ily!" or "garw6sh! Stalker lol nah just kidding") Well the story is as follows: why hand out business cards? They're boring... why not delve into IRONY! (Irony: as in that thing that I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!) Well (for those who don't know) Halloween works by simply having little kids in costumes knock on doors and the adults handing out unhealthy sugary stuff... now, if you were to reverse this slightly you'd get what my friend and I did: Well we were BIG kids WITHOUT costumes knock on people's doors and try to hand the adults nice, healthy apples! :D Yeah, we grabbed a bunch of apples, put them in a bag (and my pocket) and went round offering people apples! Well interestingly enough my mother isn't the only one cautious of people handing stuff out during Halloween because everyone looked at me weird and questioned me if the apple was poison (stop watching Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs dude... I'm not some evil witch I don't even have a costume) and to which my reply was "well technically Apples DO contain very small trace amounts of cyanide..." they didn't seem reassured by my nerdyness "because you know... cyder, cyanide? Both come from apples..." (as obvious by the root of both words) and the last guy (who had one of those delightful Irish accents... but one of those not so delightly Irish attitudes... the one that's like "let's drink beer, get blind-drunk and fight some English guys!". There's more than one attitude towards things associated with the Irish and his seemed to be the bad one but yeah...) asked us who we were and what we were doing and I go "I'm John Howard and he's Kevin Rudd" "No you're not" "Yeah, why do you think we're annoying the voters on Halloween?" He decided he wasn't getting a proper response from that (I think we annoyed him) he then asked us why we're doing it (because we're weird?) and we said "Well we just thought that we would try to make Halloween healthier" and so he holds the apple and looks at me and goes "There's nothing wrong with this?" "No." "So if I give this to my kids..." "No don't do that" "Why not?" "Well uh... you've just scared me really..." (The apple had been in my hand for a while... it was slightly sweaty! I don't want to give the scary big irish man's kids a sweaty apple!) and he had previously (or afterwards, not sure but he did this not long before we left) said that "if anything is wrong with this apple I will hunt you down and kick you to death" to which I replied "Can't you just punch us instead? It's just so much more fun..." "No. I will kick you to death." The scary thing was he REALLY WASN'T KIDDING! This guy only lived in the street next to mine he wouldn't have to go far to hunt me down and beat me to a bloody pulp... and he looked like he could do it too! Well the other person we tried to give the apple was a bit less interested in the apple and a bit less agressive about the whole thing. We knocked on his door and he opens it (only guys seem to open doors when you're holding apples... unless you're one of THOSE houses that don't open the door regardless of who it is just because it's Halloween!) and we go "do you want an apple?" "...what?" "We're giving out apples" (then comes explaning) "Well you see kids these days are just so fat. We thought if we gave you an apple you could hand it out to children so they'd have something healthy to eat instead of sugar..." (he stares at me) "...you look like a fat kid sir! Sure you don't want the apple?" My overly amused giggle at my insult to him (he was thin and middle aged) most likely eliminated any temptation in his head to take the apple from these strange deranged kids on his front doorstep so they'd go away. Yeah, first rule of salemenship: DON'T CALL THE PERSON YOU'RE CONNING THAT THEY'RE FAT AND CHILDISH! Tis not good... not it tis not... oh well, he tried to get rid of us instead of listening to us being weird after that...
And so yeah, this year I didn't think of anything and didn't get in contact with my friend in time to organise anything so tonight I sit here on this computer (avoiding doing work I'm going to be assessed on in less than a week... I have to PERFORM an original play by myself so basically need to first write it, then learn my lines, then actually figure out how to move ect by Wednesday... yay!) and I have now blogged an nice long blog to amuse my stalkers, terrorists and whatever people I manage to convince to come read this... I hope you're all happy now :)
Oh yeah plus I've discovered that it doesn't matter how long my blog entries are, they'll always show 7 of them to a page (click "older posts" and another 7 will come up) so I can write as much as I want or as little and if it makes 7 blog entries then to see any previous ones you need to click more buttons... that's why I didn't want to write a smaller blog before now because I like my Stalker Chain Letter post... it's cool (http://thewindowofbilby.blogspot.com/2008/10/stalker-chain-letter.html) and creepy... that reminds me, my list of suspects just grew! OK... if Mrs B. turns out to be a friend of The Nameless One (trying to avoid releasing personal information here... like names...) then that's just... interesting... well I'm not entirely sure but I guess I'd be very flattered she thinks my blog is interesting enough to tell other people about :) Just so Mrs B. knows who The Nameless One is (Because only I call The Nameless One The Nameless One) her name starts with E...
So I hope Becca L. Blogmore the terrorist enjoys my blog entry and stops yelling at me over MSN to blog more :P (which she will now she just because I said I hope she won't)
P.S. Cheerleaders never die...
... and then all of a sudden there's a murder in the Library and Marple and Poirot bind together to make one big SUPER DETECTIVE! They must solve the mystery of who the hell are you Brooklyn!? and the dead body in the library... dang... man that's going to smell in a couple of days you might want to move it... hmmm ye gad...
BLOGGING IS FUN!
Anyhoo, halloween... yes it's so much fun! I love it I really do... even though I've never trick and/or treated in my life... well... unless you really count what I'm about to tell you what I do as tricking... yes! OK maybe it does :) Well my mother (being the stern woman she is) has decided that I need to be protected from the friendly neighbourhood PSYCHOPATHS! (We all know one... don't we just? mwahahagagagagjahagawa! Bizarre maniacal laughs are fun!) so I'm basically not allowed to take candy from strangers... yeah also need to be home before 8... Yeah but before then I can go out and do whatever I want, knock on doors ect... I just can't EAT STUFF! Which is fine because I don't actually like sugar that much (and I am a horribly twisted mutant who doesn't even like CHOCOLATE! AGH! RUN AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE!) so I have learnt to compensate for not getting sugar on this 31st of October by doing other things to amuse myself...
... evil... things....
... dark... twisted...
...things....
.... that don't involve eggs...
What they do involve is my friend (yes I have friends too Mrs B. You're not the only one with an odd friend who does things and tells you stuff and talks when talked to! ha!) We basically go round to local houses with whatever strange idea we have for that particular year and do it. Well by that I mean we get really enthusiastic, come up with a brilliantly funny idea and he chickens out constantly and I nag him "come on this house! It has lights on! oh that one is in the open! Come on just one house..." until we eventually knock on about two or three doors then go home... of course this takes about an hour or two of walking around aimlessly before we achieve what we came out here to do. "WHAT THE HELL IS IT YOU DO!? TELL US DARNIT! TEEEEELLLL UUUSSSS!!!" you might be screaming at your computer screen right now with anticipation (I like it when people yell things in anticipation... means they're anticipating something... :P yeah!) well it's simple: we do odd things... such as the following:
First year we came up with this annual tradition it was simple. Christmas Carolling for money. Yeah, that's right, we went round (completely costumeless) and decided to go christmas carolling around at places for money! One person just smiled, shoved candy into our hands and said "happy halloween" before trying to get rid of us before we could even tell her that WE DIDN'T WANT YOUR CANDY WOMAN! Yeah I know I shouldn't yell but LET US SING DARNIT! IT'S HALLOWEEN! So yeah, ended up singing very little songs that evening because neither of us could actually sing and no one actually wanted us too... except one house that was very amused by this idea and told us to wait when they went to get their wallets so they could pay us for half a rendition of "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" before we decided to walk briskly/run away... then I went home to watch Mythbusters (which was the style at the time)
Second year we did this... I think that was the year we handed out business cards........ for the mafia :) Need a hit-man? Call us! Don't need one? We whack you! We left them on people's cars, underneath their newly delivered yellow pages and even tryed handed them out to people walking past (who then met up with us again and asked for more... we denied the cards existence. We've never heard of this "mafia" you speak of and definitely do not promote killing people for money......... *shifty eyes*) The last thing we did was knock on the door of the person across the street from my friends house (he hid in the bushes of his house so he wasn't seen by his neighbours... why come along dude? You just try to avoid being seen or doing anything!) and handed the card to a slightly confused/entertained middle aged woman... who I then asked for money from and she laughed at me and said "no." So I said she shouldn't mess with me I'm part of the mafia... which mob of gangsters I was part of and who their leader (if any) was completely unclear to her... and me really... Strange how that mafia doesn't actually seem to exist...
OK I think we missed a year sometime but the next time we did someone we decided to print out satanic business cards (call 666-666-669...2) which had a pentagram in the middle and the Star of David around the edges (I apologise to the Jewish culture for that... but you know, I was going to see if anyone actually noticed the difference... no one did... in fact I don't remember even handing out any...)Well that year was pretty boring...
Last year! woo! yeah! My friends who were online that night when I got home should know this story very well (Hey ya coolest cheerleader around! :P Yeah you know who you are!... even if you probably will never read this... even though I'll tell you to on monday or something... everyone else who reads this who know who I'm talking about tell her that I mentioned her so she can go "oh cool! awesome ily!" or "garw6sh! Stalker lol nah just kidding") Well the story is as follows: why hand out business cards? They're boring... why not delve into IRONY! (Irony: as in that thing that I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!) Well (for those who don't know) Halloween works by simply having little kids in costumes knock on doors and the adults handing out unhealthy sugary stuff... now, if you were to reverse this slightly you'd get what my friend and I did: Well we were BIG kids WITHOUT costumes knock on people's doors and try to hand the adults nice, healthy apples! :D Yeah, we grabbed a bunch of apples, put them in a bag (and my pocket) and went round offering people apples! Well interestingly enough my mother isn't the only one cautious of people handing stuff out during Halloween because everyone looked at me weird and questioned me if the apple was poison (stop watching Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs dude... I'm not some evil witch I don't even have a costume) and to which my reply was "well technically Apples DO contain very small trace amounts of cyanide..." they didn't seem reassured by my nerdyness "because you know... cyder, cyanide? Both come from apples..." (as obvious by the root of both words) and the last guy (who had one of those delightful Irish accents... but one of those not so delightly Irish attitudes... the one that's like "let's drink beer, get blind-drunk and fight some English guys!". There's more than one attitude towards things associated with the Irish and his seemed to be the bad one but yeah...) asked us who we were and what we were doing and I go "I'm John Howard and he's Kevin Rudd" "No you're not" "Yeah, why do you think we're annoying the voters on Halloween?" He decided he wasn't getting a proper response from that (I think we annoyed him) he then asked us why we're doing it (because we're weird?) and we said "Well we just thought that we would try to make Halloween healthier" and so he holds the apple and looks at me and goes "There's nothing wrong with this?" "No." "So if I give this to my kids..." "No don't do that" "Why not?" "Well uh... you've just scared me really..." (The apple had been in my hand for a while... it was slightly sweaty! I don't want to give the scary big irish man's kids a sweaty apple!) and he had previously (or afterwards, not sure but he did this not long before we left) said that "if anything is wrong with this apple I will hunt you down and kick you to death" to which I replied "Can't you just punch us instead? It's just so much more fun..." "No. I will kick you to death." The scary thing was he REALLY WASN'T KIDDING! This guy only lived in the street next to mine he wouldn't have to go far to hunt me down and beat me to a bloody pulp... and he looked like he could do it too! Well the other person we tried to give the apple was a bit less interested in the apple and a bit less agressive about the whole thing. We knocked on his door and he opens it (only guys seem to open doors when you're holding apples... unless you're one of THOSE houses that don't open the door regardless of who it is just because it's Halloween!) and we go "do you want an apple?" "...what?" "We're giving out apples" (then comes explaning) "Well you see kids these days are just so fat. We thought if we gave you an apple you could hand it out to children so they'd have something healthy to eat instead of sugar..." (he stares at me) "...you look like a fat kid sir! Sure you don't want the apple?" My overly amused giggle at my insult to him (he was thin and middle aged) most likely eliminated any temptation in his head to take the apple from these strange deranged kids on his front doorstep so they'd go away. Yeah, first rule of salemenship: DON'T CALL THE PERSON YOU'RE CONNING THAT THEY'RE FAT AND CHILDISH! Tis not good... not it tis not... oh well, he tried to get rid of us instead of listening to us being weird after that...
And so yeah, this year I didn't think of anything and didn't get in contact with my friend in time to organise anything so tonight I sit here on this computer (avoiding doing work I'm going to be assessed on in less than a week... I have to PERFORM an original play by myself so basically need to first write it, then learn my lines, then actually figure out how to move ect by Wednesday... yay!) and I have now blogged an nice long blog to amuse my stalkers, terrorists and whatever people I manage to convince to come read this... I hope you're all happy now :)
Oh yeah plus I've discovered that it doesn't matter how long my blog entries are, they'll always show 7 of them to a page (click "older posts" and another 7 will come up) so I can write as much as I want or as little and if it makes 7 blog entries then to see any previous ones you need to click more buttons... that's why I didn't want to write a smaller blog before now because I like my Stalker Chain Letter post... it's cool (http://thewindowofbilby.blogspot.com/2008/10/stalker-chain-letter.html) and creepy... that reminds me, my list of suspects just grew! OK... if Mrs B. turns out to be a friend of The Nameless One (trying to avoid releasing personal information here... like names...) then that's just... interesting... well I'm not entirely sure but I guess I'd be very flattered she thinks my blog is interesting enough to tell other people about :) Just so Mrs B. knows who The Nameless One is (Because only I call The Nameless One The Nameless One) her name starts with E...
So I hope Becca L. Blogmore the terrorist enjoys my blog entry and stops yelling at me over MSN to blog more :P (which she will now she just because I said I hope she won't)
P.S. Cheerleaders never die...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Apocalyptica
OK I'd just to inform everyone that neo-classical symphonic cello metal is the best genre of music of all time and I love it... it is also not real. (I just put lots of different genres together because they're similar and all just really awesome) I have recently discovered that Metallica sounds unbeleivably awesome when played on the cello and so I have gone out and bought every Apocalyptica album I could find! As in ONE ALBUM! (Btw if you haven't realised yet... Apocalyptica is a band with lots of cellos in it and is famous for doing covers of Metallica and having other people sing in their songs) Yeah, why is it that all the bands that I love over all others decide to just so happen to not be popular enough to have much mention in shops? AC DC has... OK apparently their still doing things (Darn, bad example. Was going to say they haven't done anything since the mid 80's and they still have a whole row of space in JB-Hi-Fi to themselves) Well I like bands that people don't care about... The little section for apocalytpica is a little card with their name on it hidden behind other cards with bands names on them that also don't appear to be popular... Took me a while to find it before I realised there wasn't anything there next to it! So had to wander around a lot before I found another CD store and finally found (after experiencing the same problem) that they had only one of their albums and only one copy of that. It was their newest one which has "I don't care", "I'm not Jesus" (It's true, Corey Taylor isn't Jesus) and "Worlds Collide" so yeah. Unfortunately no Metallica covers (or Nirvana. Now I dare anyone on earth to listen to the Cello rendition of Smells like Teen Spirit and not at least smile or think it sounds cool :P) but it does have that lovely voice from Lacuna Coil in one song so I is happy now :)
... Oh yeah plus Good Charlotte had a "Buy me now! I'm cheap!" Sticker on it... I like Good Charlotte... but apparently not many other people do because the stores want to get rid of the CD's they have...
OK I'm now uncool for liking bands with "I'm cheap" stickers on them. Yay!
Oh yeah plus this blog entry isn't actually funny and it's just me blogging about what I did today (Because I have nothing to do on the computer I just want to listen to my NEW CD and so need to do something so I have an excuse for hogging the computer... and it's lovely black speakers that play the sweet cello music I do so adore) so hope anyone out there has enjoyed my story of how I went to the shops and then bought something... as you normally do at shopping centres...
CENTRES! OK! NOW I have something to blog about! I am currently reading a book on psychology I got from (guess where?) THE LIBRARY! :O And there's this thing that I do when reading books that I have developed this year where I read things and check for any spelling errors. The Choson by Chaim Potok is one prime example of how not to write a book... As in writing it without going over and checking for errors like on pg 155 "Siad" and 254 "looke" and a few more but I don't remember them. Anyway, (btw if anyone can tell me the grammatical error in Twilight and what chapter it is in you shall get a free cookie point! :P I know where it is now you go find it. Btw, Oestrogen is spelt with an O on the beginning so grr you Americans! Even though the author is... English) I was reading this book only a minute after getting it out and I have a little thing where I get annoyed at American spellings but can handle reading an entire book with people spelling "Colour" without a U so when I read the middle of the first page and it said "Center" at the end of a sentence that was OK... But then the very next sentence only THREE words away from "center" was "centre" (which for those out there is actually the real spelling. Just want to inform you that everyone else is wrong and "Litre" and "Metre" are spelt like that because their French...) and I was just like "... WHAT!?" And I rushed over to my mother to inform her that the book was basically WRONG! (WRONG!) I am OK with people spelling words one way or another... but you must PICK ONE! (ONE!) It just looks stupid if you say "The gray colour of the armor was not the color of normal armour but an amasingly amazing shade of grey" (It's also weird that you're repeating the same words over and over again... and over again...) so yeah. First page and I've found something that's not quite a spelling error but very weird and in the same sort of ballpark as one. (I write these things down on the bookmarks I use for the book)
Please don't correct the spelling in this blog though... I know I might spell a few words wrong but when I look back I realise and then correct them... very annoying seeing "jsut" (I type fast and make mistakes... Jsut is just one of those common ones)
Have a nice day to all the people who I know for sure read this. (A lot of them start with the Letter B :) yes, You know who you are! :D And have a very good day to that someone who starts with L)
... Oh yeah plus Good Charlotte had a "Buy me now! I'm cheap!" Sticker on it... I like Good Charlotte... but apparently not many other people do because the stores want to get rid of the CD's they have...
OK I'm now uncool for liking bands with "I'm cheap" stickers on them. Yay!
Oh yeah plus this blog entry isn't actually funny and it's just me blogging about what I did today (Because I have nothing to do on the computer I just want to listen to my NEW CD and so need to do something so I have an excuse for hogging the computer... and it's lovely black speakers that play the sweet cello music I do so adore) so hope anyone out there has enjoyed my story of how I went to the shops and then bought something... as you normally do at shopping centres...
CENTRES! OK! NOW I have something to blog about! I am currently reading a book on psychology I got from (guess where?) THE LIBRARY! :O And there's this thing that I do when reading books that I have developed this year where I read things and check for any spelling errors. The Choson by Chaim Potok is one prime example of how not to write a book... As in writing it without going over and checking for errors like on pg 155 "Siad" and 254 "looke" and a few more but I don't remember them. Anyway, (btw if anyone can tell me the grammatical error in Twilight and what chapter it is in you shall get a free cookie point! :P I know where it is now you go find it. Btw, Oestrogen is spelt with an O on the beginning so grr you Americans! Even though the author is... English) I was reading this book only a minute after getting it out and I have a little thing where I get annoyed at American spellings but can handle reading an entire book with people spelling "Colour" without a U so when I read the middle of the first page and it said "Center" at the end of a sentence that was OK... But then the very next sentence only THREE words away from "center" was "centre" (which for those out there is actually the real spelling. Just want to inform you that everyone else is wrong and "Litre" and "Metre" are spelt like that because their French...) and I was just like "... WHAT!?" And I rushed over to my mother to inform her that the book was basically WRONG! (WRONG!) I am OK with people spelling words one way or another... but you must PICK ONE! (ONE!) It just looks stupid if you say "The gray colour of the armor was not the color of normal armour but an amasingly amazing shade of grey" (It's also weird that you're repeating the same words over and over again... and over again...) so yeah. First page and I've found something that's not quite a spelling error but very weird and in the same sort of ballpark as one. (I write these things down on the bookmarks I use for the book)
Please don't correct the spelling in this blog though... I know I might spell a few words wrong but when I look back I realise and then correct them... very annoying seeing "jsut" (I type fast and make mistakes... Jsut is just one of those common ones)
Have a nice day to all the people who I know for sure read this. (A lot of them start with the Letter B :) yes, You know who you are! :D And have a very good day to that someone who starts with L)
Friday, October 17, 2008
Zombies
Zombies... they eat people flesh... no matter what kind of zombie they are (human, dog... cow...) they all seem to like human flesh. Gee wow being human just generally sucks doesn't it? Come on! Be like Aliens and go for dogs every now and then... or cats. Zombies (for those who don't know) are undead corpses of dead people who consist of necrotic tissue due to their recent death...... they are also no longer living. They eat human people flesh meat and somehow seem to digest this... In fact they are dead and therefore have no heartbeat and cannot distribute any blood to places... yet Zombies are often seen bleeding... This is because zombies are magical beings like pixies (pixies also bleed profusely)
They also do not digest food so obviously do not get fat... as a sure way to lose weight one must become a zombie. This will unfortunately lead to the death of everyone you previously cared about because you will eat them... But you won't get fat... This poses the question: What happens to the human flesh meat that is devoured by zombies? Well I cannot answer that question never having studied a zombie myself... I do not reccomend you study zombies closely because this will most likely end up with you getting eaten... (Because they like to bite... like your mum...)
Zombies are like old people... I don't think I need to explain why. Old folks homes are never destroyed during zombie attacks because zombies do not attack their own (but pixies do... cannabalistic pixies! Pixie murder squad... finding dinner for their young... by hunting other pixies young... :P) So zombies don't eat old people... This also means that your grandmother is now the most dangerous person to be around in case of zombie attack because they will flock around her and help her find children to devour (She may just be one already and you didn't know it... why did you think she hugs you so tightly and doesn't want to let you go? She also pinches your cheeks... TO GET TO YOUR BRAINS!) so all of a sudden a bunch of teenage youths stop being the violent, out of control and dangerous youth, that they are at their young age, into the saviours of mankind for they are no longer dangers to things living but dangerous to the undead... (unfortunately popping a cap in a zombie butt is not effective for killing them... we all know it's just really fun to see them jump with their blank eyes as the bullet penetrates the squishy tissue :P BAM! Bullet to the butt!) Our violent tendencies and completely reckless attitudes combined with stuff we've seen in movies (and therefore MUST IMITATE! :D) allow us to go out and kill lots and lots of zombies with our friends with whatever we can find (Nearly everything can be used as a blunt weapon as any teenager will tell you) and our lack of morals and lack of social skills due to our over computer use and our desensitised reactions to gore and death from watching movies make killing your best friend because they've been bitten all that much easier...
... mwahahahahaha... (Don't go zombie hunting with me... I hog the sniper rifle)
Zombies are also funny when they dance...Zombies are also good at Elvis impersonations for no real reason...
... hehehe dancing zombies...
They also do not digest food so obviously do not get fat... as a sure way to lose weight one must become a zombie. This will unfortunately lead to the death of everyone you previously cared about because you will eat them... But you won't get fat... This poses the question: What happens to the human flesh meat that is devoured by zombies? Well I cannot answer that question never having studied a zombie myself... I do not reccomend you study zombies closely because this will most likely end up with you getting eaten... (Because they like to bite... like your mum...)
Zombies are like old people... I don't think I need to explain why. Old folks homes are never destroyed during zombie attacks because zombies do not attack their own (but pixies do... cannabalistic pixies! Pixie murder squad... finding dinner for their young... by hunting other pixies young... :P) So zombies don't eat old people... This also means that your grandmother is now the most dangerous person to be around in case of zombie attack because they will flock around her and help her find children to devour (She may just be one already and you didn't know it... why did you think she hugs you so tightly and doesn't want to let you go? She also pinches your cheeks... TO GET TO YOUR BRAINS!) so all of a sudden a bunch of teenage youths stop being the violent, out of control and dangerous youth, that they are at their young age, into the saviours of mankind for they are no longer dangers to things living but dangerous to the undead... (unfortunately popping a cap in a zombie butt is not effective for killing them... we all know it's just really fun to see them jump with their blank eyes as the bullet penetrates the squishy tissue :P BAM! Bullet to the butt!) Our violent tendencies and completely reckless attitudes combined with stuff we've seen in movies (and therefore MUST IMITATE! :D) allow us to go out and kill lots and lots of zombies with our friends with whatever we can find (Nearly everything can be used as a blunt weapon as any teenager will tell you) and our lack of morals and lack of social skills due to our over computer use and our desensitised reactions to gore and death from watching movies make killing your best friend because they've been bitten all that much easier...
... mwahahahahaha... (Don't go zombie hunting with me... I hog the sniper rifle)
Zombies are also funny when they dance...Zombies are also good at Elvis impersonations for no real reason...
... hehehe dancing zombies...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Nostalgia prt 2 ('Cause 1 isn't enough!)
Terminator Parody extract:
Meanwhile, a blonde girl materialised in the middle of the street. This caused Sarah to swerve into her in an attempt to kill as many people as possible. This only caused injury to the car.
Blonde: Whoa! What have I been smoking?
The woman walked away with a dazed look on her face.
Sarah: What a strange woman… I wonder if she’ll join my book club…
Reece: This isn’t the time or place! Our car has just been semi-destroyed and we’ve got a Terminator on our tail!
Janitor: Don’t worry I can fix it!
Sarah: Janitor! You can fix cars!
Janitor: Yes! I’m a janitor/nightclub owner/mechanic/stalker!
Sarah: What’s a nightclub and can you fix the car?
Janitor: Yes.
Sarah: Nightclub… yes… hmm…
Meanwhile, a blonde girl materialised in the middle of the street. This caused Sarah to swerve into her in an attempt to kill as many people as possible. This only caused injury to the car.
Blonde: Whoa! What have I been smoking?
The woman walked away with a dazed look on her face.
Sarah: What a strange woman… I wonder if she’ll join my book club…
Reece: This isn’t the time or place! Our car has just been semi-destroyed and we’ve got a Terminator on our tail!
Janitor: Don’t worry I can fix it!
Sarah: Janitor! You can fix cars!
Janitor: Yes! I’m a janitor/nightclub owner/mechanic/stalker!
Sarah: What’s a nightclub and can you fix the car?
Janitor: Yes.
Sarah: Nightclub… yes… hmm…
OK now imagine that sort of thing....
... only FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO PAGES OF IT! Yeah sounds like a pointless waste of time to have accumulated that much randomness right?... Yeah I wrote that... I wrote 422 pages of scripts and stories (and even a few song parodies) in the past year and a half. How on earth did I have the time? Well no one can really answer that question... Not even me really... and I wrote them all. I have collected a manifesto of old projects of mine, some completed, some finished a few paragraphs into them, all of them bizarre attempts to be funny... none of them written with any proper script formatting. Now really when you think about it that's kind of impressive writing 422 pages worth of comedy... until you realise it's all just weird stuff that occasionally gets so unusual people will just stare blankly before throwing beer bottles at my head... not empty ones that wouldn't as much but FULL beer bottles with lots of weight in the through... which reminds me...
Tricia: stop it! You know his feelings are delicate!
Zaphod: I wish his skull were delicate so the beer bottles I constantly throw at him will break his face!
Marvin: why don’t you drink the beer before you throw at me instead of after! I’m the one that has to clean your spit off the floor!
Zaphod: why don’t you shut up!
Marvin: because I’m not program-
Zaphod: shut up!
Zaphod: I wish his skull were delicate so the beer bottles I constantly throw at him will break his face!
Marvin: why don’t you drink the beer before you throw at me instead of after! I’m the one that has to clean your spit off the floor!
Zaphod: why don’t you shut up!
Marvin: because I’m not program-
Zaphod: shut up!
Zaphod threw a beer bottle at Marvin.
Bonus cookie points for those who can realise the blatently obvious (As in what that is a parody of... as in what masterfully written, brilliant and wonderful english comedy have I taken and torn to shreds into a pool of gibberish and repeditive crude jokes about how much people smell, hate each other and how everyone's a complete idiot... especially the person who wrote it) But where does all this idiotic nonsense come from? Well to be honest... it's how my mind works really. Because I don't think when I write these sorts of things... I go in with a basic plan (And sometimes no plan at all) and it just develops. Now this is fine and all but I get dragged down with long strings of nonsensical dialogue (In the longest thing I've written which was designed to be a feature film for my youtube channel the characters constantly bring this point up saying "Shut up! You seem to keep interupting me with long dialogue so the plot won't progress!" so really it's like they've broken the 4th wall... but other parts of it also try to re-establish the wall which sounds quite interesting... but it's not...) and I really sometimes take too long to develop plot... when really the long lines of nonsensical drivel is what inspires the plot. Somehow I start with a joke about someone having no friends into an epic story of conspiracies and evil clones and satanic deals with the devil and Australian parliament... It's just how my mind writes things... it just keeps talking and talking and I never make a second draft and then I go "This is now my funny thing!... Laugh..." and so there's dozens of scripts I've never made into anything because quite frankly... A lot aren't that good. Here is an example of how my mind develops plot from randomness:
Midget: Hello.
It giggled.
Mulder: Hi! I’m Mulder! Here’s a card with my address, pin number and workplace number on!
Mulder handed the midget a card and it grabbed it. It giggled.
Midget: Hehe… boom!
Mulder: So what’s your name?
Midget: Fire! Burn orphans burn! Ah ha ha ha!
Mulder: Nice to meet you too!
Captain: (over speaker) This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat belts while we prepare for take off. Thankyou that is all.
Mulder fastened his seatbelt.
Mulder: Aren’t you going to fasten your seat belt?
Midget: Mwahaha! Aeroplane!
Mulder: Ah! Of course how stupid of me!
It giggled.
Mulder: Hi! I’m Mulder! Here’s a card with my address, pin number and workplace number on!
Mulder handed the midget a card and it grabbed it. It giggled.
Midget: Hehe… boom!
Mulder: So what’s your name?
Midget: Fire! Burn orphans burn! Ah ha ha ha!
Mulder: Nice to meet you too!
Captain: (over speaker) This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat belts while we prepare for take off. Thankyou that is all.
Mulder fastened his seatbelt.
Mulder: Aren’t you going to fasten your seat belt?
Midget: Mwahaha! Aeroplane!
Mulder: Ah! Of course how stupid of me!
The midget giggled and the plane started to take off.
Well you see the midget was previously stated to be a pyromaniac which then causes him to blow up the planes engines which then makes the plane to crash into a secret government base in the ocean (I think atlantic...) where Mulder meets the man who is paying off some guy who has kidnapped scully and then subsequently saves the day... somehow... I forgot how he gets back to America but he blows stuff up as he does this. Hoorah! Oh yeah plus I totally parody Saw in that too... Oh yeah, plus all my characters seem to become drooling idiots... it's the only reason why anything ever happens... because no one is stupid enough to just stop and go "This... is stupid... I'm going home" I also think it might be because characters can only display intelligence lower or equal to the writer... hmm... nah :P Anyhoo, I write nonstop nothingness (as demonstrated in this blog) so who knows... in another year I'll have another 400 pages of weirdness to show you?
Here is an extract from wikipedia:
Steven Cummer, from Duke University's Pratt School of Engineering, said, "These are higher energy gamma rays than come from the sun. And yet here they are coming from the kind of terrestrial thunderstorm that we see here all the time."
Think about it...
Hehehe... Pratt school :P
CB the Movie Extract:
Guy 1: Yeah. Hello… yeah that’s me… what’s that? Fifty thousand pounds by the end of the week? Yeah…
Guy 1 puts his hands gently over the mouthpiece and turns to Guy 2.
Guy 1: Don’t worry it’s just a bunch of retarded terrorists demanding a ransom. I’ve learnt to smooth talk these losers into doing what I want.
Guy 1 puts the phone back to his ear.
Guy 1: Oh… you heard what I just said? Oh… hundred thousand pounds by the end of today now is it? OK… yeah… uh huh… my mother you say… no I don’t watch barney the dinosaur… oh come on the term “heathen” is so harsh can’t you… no? OK… yep… yes, yes I’ve already had that curse put on me before I keep telling you people I don’t have any goats to die of the plague… OK yeah. Bye… yes and so is your mother!
Guy 1 hangs up.
Guy 2: What do terrorists have that you need to pay that much for?
Guy 1: Oh they’ve kidnapped my girlfriend because she was caught infiltrating their camps in the attempt to free some Iranian hostages. Don’t worry she’ll escape soon enough and murder them horribly in cold blood…
Guy 2: That’s comforting to know…
Guy 1: Yes I know… it helps me sleep at night knowing that their rotting dead corpses will litter the desert…
(Pause)
Guy 2: OK you’re creeping me out now.
Guy 1: Yeah I get that a lot.
Guy 1 puts his hands gently over the mouthpiece and turns to Guy 2.
Guy 1: Don’t worry it’s just a bunch of retarded terrorists demanding a ransom. I’ve learnt to smooth talk these losers into doing what I want.
Guy 1 puts the phone back to his ear.
Guy 1: Oh… you heard what I just said? Oh… hundred thousand pounds by the end of today now is it? OK… yeah… uh huh… my mother you say… no I don’t watch barney the dinosaur… oh come on the term “heathen” is so harsh can’t you… no? OK… yep… yes, yes I’ve already had that curse put on me before I keep telling you people I don’t have any goats to die of the plague… OK yeah. Bye… yes and so is your mother!
Guy 1 hangs up.
Guy 2: What do terrorists have that you need to pay that much for?
Guy 1: Oh they’ve kidnapped my girlfriend because she was caught infiltrating their camps in the attempt to free some Iranian hostages. Don’t worry she’ll escape soon enough and murder them horribly in cold blood…
Guy 2: That’s comforting to know…
Guy 1: Yes I know… it helps me sleep at night knowing that their rotting dead corpses will litter the desert…
(Pause)
Guy 2: OK you’re creeping me out now.
Guy 1: Yeah I get that a lot.
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