Anger.

Anger. It consumes us. It makes us go RRRAARRRR!!! Then hurt people. It causes us to rage around saying mean things to people but then again they deserve it? How can you tell? This is an out of context, completely unexplained minimalist hypothetical situation and so if you answered anything then RRAARRRRR!!! You're WRONG! (and a bad person and you smell. I don't actually know this but I'm angry at you so I'm going to say mean things.)

Many people say things that are wrong and stupid. You for one are reading this blog which is a very stupid thing to do... you're wasting your life. Haha the more you read the more you waste your life while I mock you! (Well aren't you double the dumb?)

Anger also prevents us from apologising when we're obviously wrong. It also makes us arrogant and think we're above the other person. This is not one of those times. I know for a fact that I'm right! (Now that statement no one would pay any attention to but when you think about it it's very complex and weird. For you see, I say I know that I'm right that you're wasting your life reading this blog but to tell you that I'm right about it you must continue to read after I have told you to stop and thus if you stop reading before I say it I'm wrong... But if you've read this explanation then I'm right. And I'm still right. I'm continueing to be right! Why do you continue to prove me right!? I pity you...)

That is, assuming I am right... but if I'm not then I'm wasting my life saying you're wasting yours (but then how am I wrong if this is pointless for me to do how does it become meaningful for you to read?)

*ding ding*

Existentialism time!

Well OK I have something and you try to find a constructed meaning in it... it is part of the goal of Atheistic and Theistic Exstentialism and there is such a thing as meaning or value in both. It is essential an individual creats meaning in life themselves...

OK that... meant nothing to my arguement. Absurdism! The pursuit of intrinsic or extrinsic meaning in the universe is a futile gesture but the pursuit itself may have meaning...

OK.... that actually didn't go where I wanted it to go. I wanted it go "There is no meaning but you can try to find it." Well that was fascinating wasn't it? Oh yes... oh and by the way in nihilism everything is pointless entirely and without question! And that makes me AAAAANNNGGGRRYYYY!!! (rar!)

Well here I am... wallowing in ANGER (Which is now in CAPITALS) because Nihilism done hurted me. There should always be a reason behind things. A good reason. Having good reasons behind things prevents ANGER from happening. I feel that if you are angry at someone you shouldn't overreact but if you're angry you obviously have a reason to be angry and this very fact should hint that the person who did the angerering (that's a word!... like, yeah, totally) should probably rethink their motives behind their actions. If they actually didn't do anything perhaps the person who got angry is just suffering from psychosis and is crazy?

I like to think that this imaginary person with no connection to life (non-mimetic in every sense of the word. Down to the tittle) isn't crazy and therefore has a reason. To say the person who supposedly did the bad thing is the only one to think things through is to say that the angered person is infallible and since they're not the pope (who doesn't get angry so we've instantly ruled him out at the beginning) then they too need to reconsider things.

OK so let's both put these imaginary people in the naughty corner in opposite sides of the imaginary room thingy... of... stuff. OK no. No I say they'll be in a large stadium! For playing basketball! No! Icehockey! (We're talking about ANGER here so duh!) OK so everyone needs to calm down and decide who exactly went wrong...

The problem is in many situations both of the people did something wrong. This is not the case. (Why? WELL BECAUSE I SAID SO! RRAAARRRR!!! Plus, it's a lot easier to say one person's wrong if you're angry so you don't have to blame yourself... that and there's too many variables in two people being wrong. Even more complicated if there's a third person who comes in wearing silly clothes. Or maybe one of the peoples clothes? THAT would probably get someone angry. "You stole my clothes!" "You killed my mother!" "She lied to me! She said we could both kill your mother!" "What? Who are you?" "Who are you!?" "Who's talking!?" "Who said that!?" "I'm androgynous!" "You're imaginary! And text! How can we tell?" "Because he just told you." "I'm a girl." "Aha! Proof you're androgynous!") So Person A has done something that has upset Person B and now Person B is experimenting with Voodoo dolls while Person C starts setting fire to Person A's house because Person D is dead.

No I just realised that this is incredibly ridiculous! What the hell? Oh for let's just say Person A did something bad, Person B has every right to be angry but shouldn't yell and go RARRR at Person A because of something I call regret.

Regret. It consumes you... it makes you go waaaaa!!! Then hurt yourself. It causes us to wallow around saying pathetic things to people but then again they deserve to hear "sorry"? How can you tell? This is an out of context, completely unexplained minimalist hypothetical situation and so is you answered anthing then waaaaa!!! I'm sorry for not explaining this! (I'm a bad person and I smell. I don't really but I'm regretful and so I'm going to say mean things about myself.)

Many people regret things that are wrong and stupid. You for one are reading this blog which is a very regretful thing to do... you're regretting wasting your life. Haha the more you read the more you wasted your life while I mock you! (Well aren't you double the dumb? "Yes! Yes I am! I'm sorry! I feel so bad...")

Regret also prevents us from standing up when we're obviously right.... because then the other person will get ANGRY at us.

So to conclude: we're trapped. Help. We're in a vicious cycle! We can't escape! We're just going to go from ANGER to regret to ANGER to regret and then repeat because we don't like to accept the idea that maybe we did something right... or maybe we're wrong... or maybe we're just plain confusing... The person who wins is the one smart enough to give a proper reason as to why someone else did something wrong.

This has been an unusual and, as always, unhelpful explanation to why I believe my conclusions are rational and not motivated my anger. Or was it? Now that statement is something you wouldn't pay attention to but when you think about it it's very complex and weird... because you see I said it was hypothetical and imaginary so was I talking about myself or just an example of what I would do? (Yes, I break into Ice Hockey rinks to be angry...)

For you see, you're wasting your life reading this blog... because it's very very repetitive...

Repetitiveness. It dulls us. It makes us go AAAGGHHH! Then try to kill ourselves. It causes us to bang our heads against the walls saying random things to no one but then again maybe we deserve it? How can you tell? This is an out of context, completely unexplained minimalist REAL LIFE SITUATION so if you answered anything then AGGGHHH!!! You're giving in to the repetitiveness! (and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you just skipped this didn't you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person for not reading this because I'm actually typing this not just copying and pasting you smell and you're a bad person and you smell and you're a bad person and you smell.... I don't actually know this but I'm repetitive so I'm going to repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself.)

Many people say/do things that are repetitive and boring. You for one are reading this blog which is a very repetitive thing to do... you're wasting your life. Haha the more you read the more you waste your life while I mock you! (Well aren't you the dumbest person on earth for reading this far?) Many people say/do things that are repetitive and boring. You for one are reading this blog which is a very anyone who reads this sentence will have gold. life. Haha the more you read the morI promise you riches if you comment saying the word Arkansow dumbest person on earth for reading this far?) Many people say/do things that are repetitive and boring. You for one are reading this blog which is a very repetitive thing to do... you're wasting your life. Haha the more you read the more you waste your life while I mock you! (Well aren't you the dumbest person on earth for reading this far?)

Have a nice day. For you are free now. I have released you.

Nostalgia prt 2 ('Cause 1 isn't enough!)

Terminator Parody extract:



Meanwhile, a blonde girl materialised in the middle of the street. This caused Sarah to swerve into her in an attempt to kill as many people as possible. This only caused injury to the car.
Blonde: Whoa! What have I been smoking?
The woman walked away with a dazed look on her face.
Sarah: What a strange woman… I wonder if she’ll join my book club…
Reece: This isn’t the time or place! Our car has just been semi-destroyed and we’ve got a Terminator on our tail!
Janitor: Don’t worry I can fix it!
Sarah: Janitor! You can fix cars!
Janitor: Yes! I’m a janitor/nightclub owner/mechanic/stalker!
Sarah: What’s a nightclub and can you fix the car?
Janitor: Yes.
Sarah: Nightclub… yes… hmm…

OK now imagine that sort of thing....

... only FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO PAGES OF IT! Yeah sounds like a pointless waste of time to have accumulated that much randomness right?... Yeah I wrote that... I wrote 422 pages of scripts and stories (and even a few song parodies) in the past year and a half. How on earth did I have the time? Well no one can really answer that question... Not even me really... and I wrote them all. I have collected a manifesto of old projects of mine, some completed, some finished a few paragraphs into them, all of them bizarre attempts to be funny... none of them written with any proper script formatting. Now really when you think about it that's kind of impressive writing 422 pages worth of comedy... until you realise it's all just weird stuff that occasionally gets so unusual people will just stare blankly before throwing beer bottles at my head... not empty ones that wouldn't as much but FULL beer bottles with lots of weight in the through... which reminds me...

Tricia: stop it! You know his feelings are delicate!
Zaphod: I wish his skull were delicate so the beer bottles I constantly throw at him will break his face!
Marvin: why don’t you drink the beer before you throw at me instead of after! I’m the one that has to clean your spit off the floor!
Zaphod: why don’t you shut up!
Marvin: because I’m not program-
Zaphod: shut up!

Zaphod threw a beer bottle at Marvin.

Bonus cookie points for those who can realise the blatently obvious (As in what that is a parody of... as in what masterfully written, brilliant and wonderful english comedy have I taken and torn to shreds into a pool of gibberish and repeditive crude jokes about how much people smell, hate each other and how everyone's a complete idiot... especially the person who wrote it) But where does all this idiotic nonsense come from? Well to be honest... it's how my mind works really. Because I don't think when I write these sorts of things... I go in with a basic plan (And sometimes no plan at all) and it just develops. Now this is fine and all but I get dragged down with long strings of nonsensical dialogue (In the longest thing I've written which was designed to be a feature film for my youtube channel the characters constantly bring this point up saying "Shut up! You seem to keep interupting me with long dialogue so the plot won't progress!" so really it's like they've broken the 4th wall... but other parts of it also try to re-establish the wall which sounds quite interesting... but it's not...) and I really sometimes take too long to develop plot... when really the long lines of nonsensical drivel is what inspires the plot. Somehow I start with a joke about someone having no friends into an epic story of conspiracies and evil clones and satanic deals with the devil and Australian parliament... It's just how my mind writes things... it just keeps talking and talking and I never make a second draft and then I go "This is now my funny thing!... Laugh..." and so there's dozens of scripts I've never made into anything because quite frankly... A lot aren't that good. Here is an example of how my mind develops plot from randomness:

Midget: Hello.
It giggled.
Mulder: Hi! I’m Mulder! Here’s a card with my address, pin number and workplace number on!
Mulder handed the midget a card and it grabbed it. It giggled.
Midget: Hehe… boom!
Mulder: So what’s your name?
Midget: Fire! Burn orphans burn! Ah ha ha ha!
Mulder: Nice to meet you too!
Captain: (over speaker) This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat belts while we prepare for take off. Thankyou that is all.
Mulder fastened his seatbelt.
Mulder: Aren’t you going to fasten your seat belt?
Midget: Mwahaha! Aeroplane!
Mulder: Ah! Of course how stupid of me!

The midget giggled and the plane started to take off.

Well you see the midget was previously stated to be a pyromaniac which then causes him to blow up the planes engines which then makes the plane to crash into a secret government base in the ocean (I think atlantic...) where Mulder meets the man who is paying off some guy who has kidnapped scully and then subsequently saves the day... somehow... I forgot how he gets back to America but he blows stuff up as he does this. Hoorah! Oh yeah plus I totally parody Saw in that too... Oh yeah, plus all my characters seem to become drooling idiots... it's the only reason why anything ever happens... because no one is stupid enough to just stop and go "This... is stupid... I'm going home" I also think it might be because characters can only display intelligence lower or equal to the writer... hmm... nah :P Anyhoo, I write nonstop nothingness (as demonstrated in this blog) so who knows... in another year I'll have another 400 pages of weirdness to show you?

Here is an extract from wikipedia:

Steven Cummer, from Duke University's Pratt School of Engineering, said, "These are higher energy gamma rays than come from the sun. And yet here they are coming from the kind of terrestrial thunderstorm that we see here all the time."

Think about it...

Hehehe... Pratt school :P

CB the Movie Extract:

Guy 1: Yeah. Hello… yeah that’s me… what’s that? Fifty thousand pounds by the end of the week? Yeah…

Guy 1 puts his hands gently over the mouthpiece and turns to Guy 2.

Guy 1: Don’t worry it’s just a bunch of retarded terrorists demanding a ransom. I’ve learnt to smooth talk these losers into doing what I want.

Guy 1 puts the phone back to his ear.

Guy 1: Oh… you heard what I just said? Oh… hundred thousand pounds by the end of today now is it? OK… yeah… uh huh… my mother you say… no I don’t watch barney the dinosaur… oh come on the term “heathen” is so harsh can’t you… no? OK… yep… yes, yes I’ve already had that curse put on me before I keep telling you people I don’t have any goats to die of the plague… OK yeah. Bye… yes and so is your mother!

Guy 1 hangs up.

Guy 2: What do terrorists have that you need to pay that much for?

Guy 1: Oh they’ve kidnapped my girlfriend because she was caught infiltrating their camps in the attempt to free some Iranian hostages. Don’t worry she’ll escape soon enough and murder them horribly in cold blood…

Guy 2: That’s comforting to know…

Guy 1: Yes I know… it helps me sleep at night knowing that their rotting dead corpses will litter the desert…

(Pause)

Guy 2: OK you’re creeping me out now.

Guy 1: Yeah I get that a lot.