Epicness

I am made of epicness... No that's a lie I've made of carbon 12 and water. (Duuhh... idiot.) What is made of epicness (Epicness's molecular mass is 0. No number is epic enough for the element of epicness, nor does gravity affect truly epic objects. If you are touching the ground you cannot be made of pure epic.) is Lano and Woodley. They are awesome! They're awesowonderilliant! Yes, they are... That word basically is more awesome than awesome (and thus should be reserved for truly awesome things) and I plan on one day coining it as a real word in the dictionary. No joke! I shall one day make that world real you have my word! I have bet my friends that I could do so (well I said "I bet you this..." they just didn't say they agree back so I just assumed their unimpressed looks meant they completely agreed with me :) That's definitely what their words and actions signified I'm sure of it!) So my goal is simple: Publish a book or movie in which the word is used in context to allow people to use it further on in life. If Burgess can invent Nadsat I can invent my own slang term of Awesowonderilliant! (I also want to coin the slang term "Littlings" for children or newcomers in the lower years of a school. It's the last year of school for me and it's just so amusing to see all the little year 8's wandering around following each other because they think that somehow the person they're following knows more than them when really they don't... and I can't help but go "Oh look! Littlings are lost!" :P Yes... They're so LITTLE! Like... miniature people to the extreme... so they are now "Littlings" :) There. For those nerds out there; yes, it was inspired by the Jedi term for small children padawans "Younglings" so there's the daily piece of nerd references for you all) So you better all go round using that word! I want to be remembered as the person who coined it! Just like EVERYONE knows that John E. Wall coined the term "Cryptid" in 1983! (ISC Newsletter... although I didn't actually know that until I looked it up... yeah I'm not so nerdy to know where words were coined and when I'm just nerdy enough to know what words were coined recently by people.) Because absolutely EVERYONE knows THAT! (Who doesn't!? Not you for sure you just read it! If you've forgotten already you're kinda stupid or not paying much -iknowwhereyoulive- attention)

My next goal is to create a wikipedia article completely researched and written by me that doesn't get deleted. You see, as childish and amusing normal wikipedian vandalism is ("Oil is a black sticky substance that tastes like chicken..." or "Another example of an optical illusion would be this page. It's not really here and it's an illusion. Woooooooo" or my absolute favourite - although not my own - "THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST! THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST! YOU CANNOT DELETE IT BECAUSE IT DOES NOT EXIST! IT DOES NOT NEED CITATIONS BECAUSE IT DOES NOT EXIST! THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST!" which... unfortunately no longer exists...) there gets to a point where every immature idiot who thinks he's funny (ME! ME! ME! :D) decides that editing wikipedia to say that people who lived in the 18th century were actually superman just isn't that funny anymore and now that they've got banned indefinitely they just can't be bothered making another false account to continue their idiotic antics... (I've got banned twice! :P) But you see why vandalise wikipedia with such obviously stupid nonsense as random incoherent or absurdist-styled sentences when you can create something more subtle? Why not make seemingly legitimate contributions that really just aren't real at all? I'm going to try and edit a few articles and see if I can get something to stay on there... you see, not many people have faith in Wikipedia's authenticity or educational value or even how factually accurate it is but if you ever stop and try to edit something that isn't true into it you'll see just how hard it is for someone to make something that isn't true on there. I've tried so many times to put things on there I've failed so many times... but this time I'm going to be really ingenious and evil. I'm actually going to create references, put things into categories, structure it perfectly and I'm going to do everything that is required to create an article...

It's just all going to be lies :) Very well constructed lies! I'm going to test the boundries of Wikipedia's intelligence and scrutiny and I am going to create the best darn fake article ever! I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to put in it but I know it can be done! For you see there was an article once written that was so genuinely well done and complex that it nearly passed off as real! It was about a historic battle or something and even had a reference to a certain day with a name or something and it was all very well done! It was later found out not to be real but they preserved it anyway in a special page somewhere in the Wikiverse (HUGE big mass of text that only those learned in the special coding of the PHP programming language and can use either the MySQL or PostgreSQL relational database management system can eventually decipher and track down... Like Brion Vibber... or just go to google and type in "Wikipedia Nonsense Page") full of things that administrators needed to clean up but thought were good enough to keep somewhere. Yes, there is a page of things that were too good to permanently delete. This gave me inspiration for this idea that has taken me nearly two years to formulate and I am still thinking over some details but trust me... I shall soon find a way to do as I wish! Mwahahahahahaha! (I'm what's wrong with Wikipedia!.... Sorta!)

Here's the link to things you desperately want to read but didn't know existed! (Because they don't exist!)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:BAD

And here's the link to things you're glad you're smart enough not to try! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:List_of_really,_really,_really_stupid_article_ideas_that_you_really,_really,_really_should_not_create

Maybe I can involve the word "Awesowonderilliant" into wikipedia somehow... maybe wiktionary instead? Hmm... I dream of one day learning how to edit wiktionary... :)

I Will Miss Thee!

TheWindowOfBilby is a non-profit project: Please give me money anyway! our goal: $500

I Will Miss Thee!
-------------------------------------------
From thewindowofbilby the free blog

This article or section describes a work or element of fiction in a primarily in-universe style.
Please rewrite this article or section to explain the fiction more clearly and provide non-fictional perspective.

Weeee! Ye all be fine hearty lads! Arr I be a pirate arr....[1] (Born March 21, 1299) I am also a blogger of asian descent although I was born in Australia and have recieved multiple awards in awesomeness[1]

------------
Contents (hide)
1 Subject
2 History
3 Critical Reception
-----------

Subject (edit)
---------------------------------------

No, yes, no, it's not got nothing to do with nothing that isn't what I haven't yet said and shan't stall anymore to tell you... or is it? I don't know... I don't even understand that last sentence. (No on does... it's like... an octagonal-negative? octave of negatives... there's 8 in there...) OK moving on, as you all know... it is holidays right now for me. This is very sad because... I'm starting to miss my teachers....

AGH WHAT?!!? What kind of... WEIRD FREAK ARE YOU!?

*cries* waaaahahaha! Why do I yell at myself!? Hahaha yeah I'm... very random at times. Today especially... apparently. (citation needed)

History (edit)
---------------------------------------

Yes, I miss my teachers. They were great teachers and lots of fun to be in their classes! They were all interesting especially my chemistry teacher, who, for a while, was my physics teacher too. She was slighlty absent minded and would make a few typing errors occasionally and it was quite amusing to point out to her that Newton's "Fist" law was not real... and neither were "Fictional forces" (she has a problem with the letter R). It was like having one of my weird friends (who was writing a thesis) teach me it was great! It was fun, and seeing how I sat up the front if I ever didn't want to do work I would merely ask her a question and she'd start talking to me :) It was fun... I've never really been bothered/capable of having a conversation with my teacher that lasts 20 minutes before she realises we need to get back to work...[2] Haha she was quite amusing sometimes and lots of fun to be taught by. I learnt quite a lot about molecular bonds and enthalpy and stuff....
My physics teacher was from holland so he spoke another language.... well... if you asked him too that is. He spoke perfect english! He spoke it quite quickly and didn't sound foreign at all... although he did take bloody forever to explain anything![3] Seriously, I asked him once what units momentum was measured in (I said "is it this?" and so a yes or no would've sufficed)... over five minutes later when the rest of the class had walked out the door I was still sitting there... but at least I knew how momentum worked... I didn't really need to know everything from the absolute basics but thanks anyway! He had a habit of doing that.... taking forever to answer a question that only took a maximum of a minute because every single time we asked a question he needed to explain it from the very very basics and make sure everyone understands every little detail.... no! I'm almost constantly on an A! I want an answer quickly not one that takes forever! Besides this minor flaw (Really not fun asking someone a question... then realising the answer long before they've answered it) he had lots of interesting things to tell us. He knew lots of interesting tricks and was very good at ballancing stuff.[4]
My English Lit teacher! Oh she is wonderful! This year was the 3rd year I'd had her and it's always fun. She's the oldest of my teachers and is a grandmother so it's like having your grandmother teach you about shakespeare. She brings you tissues and once I got cookies![5] We even occasionally had a lesson just devoted to eating food as a break from working :) Lovely woman who I have always towered over even when I was in only 13 years old. One thing you notice though is when you're around a teacher for more than a year you start to notice that they have these stories that they use to make points about things. She has anecdotes that occasionally will come up and when you've been in her class more than once you realise she uses them about once or twice a year... so some people are sitting there thinking "wow this is interesting" and you're like "I remember last year you told that story..." which I don't mind. She even has new ones sometimes (new as in newly told, not new as in time) like the time there were two boys fighting and she goes "Right! Stop this at once!" and she grabs one of the boys (who was quite taller and stronger than her) and he must've been off balance because she pulled him and he went flying back into a pile of rosebushes. Everyone just looks shocked that this tiny little woman jsut threw a big tough guy into rosebushes with ease... haha :D My english lit teacher is your grandma meets the hulk...(citation needed)
My maths teacher was truly wonderful. I never learnt a single thing from her but she never yelled at me for rarely ever doing work... probably because she was too busy smiling because I would do the strangest things in maths! I would randomly ask her how her day was or ask her really weird questions like "In a fight between a covenant elite and pikachu who would win?" I say Pikachu because he is really fast and capable of taking a lot of damage but has really awesome thundershock attack (yeah I always side with the pokemon...) but my friend next to me thinks the elite would win because one plasma blast pikachu is dead....(citation needed) She never knew what to expect and it was lots of fun being in her class. I love using the classic line "Miss! (person) is disrupting my learning!" whenever someone disagreed with me so I wanted them to stop talking... I once even started pretending to break down and make sobbing noises in front of my teacher and her face was just like "uhh....help?" it was so funny![7]
My drama teacher has got to be one of the most awesome teachers on the earth.(citation not needed) He would quote The Simpsons, Adam Sandler and all sorts of funny things along with coming up with his own jokes aswell as draw very awesome pictures of toasters. He was the kind of person who you could talk to about a lot of things (movies, music, dancing, jokes, food ect) and wasn't one of those old people who aren't quite up to date. He wins the award for funniest, most relatable and patient teacher award for 2008[8]. We were a terrible class that didn't really get things on in time which was very unfortunate because he was so kind to us and we did disapoint him every now and then. We also had double periods on mondays and so halfway through he would pitch in some money occasionally when we would go to the deli nearby and buy some food (Lemon Crisps rock! Down with the heathens that do not appreciate the salty sweetness!) and it was fun.

Critical reception (edit)
----------------------------
This article does not cite any references or sources.
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed. (December 2008)

My teachers all like me (citation needed) and would love to have me in their classes next year. I got a rotten tomato report of %87 and IMBD thinks I am awesome.(citation needed) My teachers all gave me A's... except ones for all my TEE subjects. I got 1 and 1/2 C's and the rest were B's except two A's in Media. This was only because all my work was stolen by monkeys(citation needed) so if I had handed in my work I would've ruled the world! (huh? I don't think "citation needed" quite does it...)

-----------------------
Categories: Insanity Pointless blogs Teachers

Nostalgia prt 2 ('Cause 1 isn't enough!)

Terminator Parody extract:



Meanwhile, a blonde girl materialised in the middle of the street. This caused Sarah to swerve into her in an attempt to kill as many people as possible. This only caused injury to the car.
Blonde: Whoa! What have I been smoking?
The woman walked away with a dazed look on her face.
Sarah: What a strange woman… I wonder if she’ll join my book club…
Reece: This isn’t the time or place! Our car has just been semi-destroyed and we’ve got a Terminator on our tail!
Janitor: Don’t worry I can fix it!
Sarah: Janitor! You can fix cars!
Janitor: Yes! I’m a janitor/nightclub owner/mechanic/stalker!
Sarah: What’s a nightclub and can you fix the car?
Janitor: Yes.
Sarah: Nightclub… yes… hmm…

OK now imagine that sort of thing....

... only FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO PAGES OF IT! Yeah sounds like a pointless waste of time to have accumulated that much randomness right?... Yeah I wrote that... I wrote 422 pages of scripts and stories (and even a few song parodies) in the past year and a half. How on earth did I have the time? Well no one can really answer that question... Not even me really... and I wrote them all. I have collected a manifesto of old projects of mine, some completed, some finished a few paragraphs into them, all of them bizarre attempts to be funny... none of them written with any proper script formatting. Now really when you think about it that's kind of impressive writing 422 pages worth of comedy... until you realise it's all just weird stuff that occasionally gets so unusual people will just stare blankly before throwing beer bottles at my head... not empty ones that wouldn't as much but FULL beer bottles with lots of weight in the through... which reminds me...

Tricia: stop it! You know his feelings are delicate!
Zaphod: I wish his skull were delicate so the beer bottles I constantly throw at him will break his face!
Marvin: why don’t you drink the beer before you throw at me instead of after! I’m the one that has to clean your spit off the floor!
Zaphod: why don’t you shut up!
Marvin: because I’m not program-
Zaphod: shut up!

Zaphod threw a beer bottle at Marvin.

Bonus cookie points for those who can realise the blatently obvious (As in what that is a parody of... as in what masterfully written, brilliant and wonderful english comedy have I taken and torn to shreds into a pool of gibberish and repeditive crude jokes about how much people smell, hate each other and how everyone's a complete idiot... especially the person who wrote it) But where does all this idiotic nonsense come from? Well to be honest... it's how my mind works really. Because I don't think when I write these sorts of things... I go in with a basic plan (And sometimes no plan at all) and it just develops. Now this is fine and all but I get dragged down with long strings of nonsensical dialogue (In the longest thing I've written which was designed to be a feature film for my youtube channel the characters constantly bring this point up saying "Shut up! You seem to keep interupting me with long dialogue so the plot won't progress!" so really it's like they've broken the 4th wall... but other parts of it also try to re-establish the wall which sounds quite interesting... but it's not...) and I really sometimes take too long to develop plot... when really the long lines of nonsensical drivel is what inspires the plot. Somehow I start with a joke about someone having no friends into an epic story of conspiracies and evil clones and satanic deals with the devil and Australian parliament... It's just how my mind writes things... it just keeps talking and talking and I never make a second draft and then I go "This is now my funny thing!... Laugh..." and so there's dozens of scripts I've never made into anything because quite frankly... A lot aren't that good. Here is an example of how my mind develops plot from randomness:

Midget: Hello.
It giggled.
Mulder: Hi! I’m Mulder! Here’s a card with my address, pin number and workplace number on!
Mulder handed the midget a card and it grabbed it. It giggled.
Midget: Hehe… boom!
Mulder: So what’s your name?
Midget: Fire! Burn orphans burn! Ah ha ha ha!
Mulder: Nice to meet you too!
Captain: (over speaker) This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat belts while we prepare for take off. Thankyou that is all.
Mulder fastened his seatbelt.
Mulder: Aren’t you going to fasten your seat belt?
Midget: Mwahaha! Aeroplane!
Mulder: Ah! Of course how stupid of me!

The midget giggled and the plane started to take off.

Well you see the midget was previously stated to be a pyromaniac which then causes him to blow up the planes engines which then makes the plane to crash into a secret government base in the ocean (I think atlantic...) where Mulder meets the man who is paying off some guy who has kidnapped scully and then subsequently saves the day... somehow... I forgot how he gets back to America but he blows stuff up as he does this. Hoorah! Oh yeah plus I totally parody Saw in that too... Oh yeah, plus all my characters seem to become drooling idiots... it's the only reason why anything ever happens... because no one is stupid enough to just stop and go "This... is stupid... I'm going home" I also think it might be because characters can only display intelligence lower or equal to the writer... hmm... nah :P Anyhoo, I write nonstop nothingness (as demonstrated in this blog) so who knows... in another year I'll have another 400 pages of weirdness to show you?

Here is an extract from wikipedia:

Steven Cummer, from Duke University's Pratt School of Engineering, said, "These are higher energy gamma rays than come from the sun. And yet here they are coming from the kind of terrestrial thunderstorm that we see here all the time."

Think about it...

Hehehe... Pratt school :P

CB the Movie Extract:

Guy 1: Yeah. Hello… yeah that’s me… what’s that? Fifty thousand pounds by the end of the week? Yeah…

Guy 1 puts his hands gently over the mouthpiece and turns to Guy 2.

Guy 1: Don’t worry it’s just a bunch of retarded terrorists demanding a ransom. I’ve learnt to smooth talk these losers into doing what I want.

Guy 1 puts the phone back to his ear.

Guy 1: Oh… you heard what I just said? Oh… hundred thousand pounds by the end of today now is it? OK… yeah… uh huh… my mother you say… no I don’t watch barney the dinosaur… oh come on the term “heathen” is so harsh can’t you… no? OK… yep… yes, yes I’ve already had that curse put on me before I keep telling you people I don’t have any goats to die of the plague… OK yeah. Bye… yes and so is your mother!

Guy 1 hangs up.

Guy 2: What do terrorists have that you need to pay that much for?

Guy 1: Oh they’ve kidnapped my girlfriend because she was caught infiltrating their camps in the attempt to free some Iranian hostages. Don’t worry she’ll escape soon enough and murder them horribly in cold blood…

Guy 2: That’s comforting to know…

Guy 1: Yes I know… it helps me sleep at night knowing that their rotting dead corpses will litter the desert…

(Pause)

Guy 2: OK you’re creeping me out now.

Guy 1: Yeah I get that a lot.