I'm on the train right...

So there I was, on the train, wearing 3-quarter camouflage pants, converse shoe look a likes and my collarless shirt with superman on it with no jacket because it was hot. I was playing my Pokemon Yellow (original copy from the 90's) on my old Gameboy Advance (not the SP), my long untamed, unbrushed and curly hair on my shoulders complimenting my untended to hobo beard... just listening to some alternative/experimental rock band from Canada on my non-iPod mp3 player and taking up space on the train because I'm slightly overweight.

A very hot girl sits down next to me.

Oddly enough, the idea that perhaps striking a conversation with her did not occur to me to be a likely thing to occur in the near future.

"So heard about the upcoming Green Lantern movie? Dude is weak to like... yellow..."

Which is even worse than Hancock's weakness... which is true love. Awww... (which is quite the weakness, and we should learn to overcome that and be strong even when a girl is nearby...) Sorry I meant SPOILERS!!! There, now you can read the sentence that I just wrote. Happy? Good. Let's move on.

Though there did turn out to be a nerd girl on the train! I saw her at the Esplanade waiting for the next train, as we had both been forced off the one we were on already because it was terminating (WHY!? WHY NOT JUST KEEP GOING LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO!?) and she was playing Pokemon on her Gameboy Advance SP (DAMN HER! She's semi-old school but still more advanced/richer than I?) Then on the way home she was on the train once again. Ah, a nerd girl on the train! If only I talked to her... if only she was more attractive... Not that she was unattractive, but she looked misleadingly fit for a girl playing Pokemon. Admit it, you go for runs don't you? DON'T YOU!? You're an athlete luring me in with your Pokemons...

Anyhoo...

Trains. They're on strike again. Why? Why indeed? I suppose we'll be getting news reports on it. Perhaps even I'll write one! I am a journalist.... student after all! Although it is a bit ambitious for me seeing as I've never actually interviewed anyone , this is actually only my second assignment and I doubt the government department of transportation returns 1st year Journalism students' phone calls. I will most likely end up thinking of a more realistic idea for my assignment... but oh well. Next time there's a strike and I've actually become a confident/competent journalist I will be there! I will not be turned away! I will watch my step and mind the gap as I enter the door, but that door will be your office door mr... whoever! (Or ms or mrs) Or... I will phone you! But either way, I shall get my interview.

Thankfully every time there's a strike I somehow manage to coincidentally leave home hours early. Which is good for me, but it can't possibly keep going forever... soon, I shall be stuck at a train station missing something important all because of YOU! YOU TRANSPERTH!

Turns out this sort of thing is not local (DUH) and can be found everywhere... even London! :O

Click on this link for a funny flash animation song!

Enjoy that song? Yeah I found it amusing too... oh wait sorry I mean: Warning! Contains harsh language and should not be listened to by small children... with parents nearby. Oh I'm bad at the reasonable forewarning aren't I?

Well goodnight stalkers :) Enjoy my life.

Epicness

I am made of epicness... No that's a lie I've made of carbon 12 and water. (Duuhh... idiot.) What is made of epicness (Epicness's molecular mass is 0. No number is epic enough for the element of epicness, nor does gravity affect truly epic objects. If you are touching the ground you cannot be made of pure epic.) is Lano and Woodley. They are awesome! They're awesowonderilliant! Yes, they are... That word basically is more awesome than awesome (and thus should be reserved for truly awesome things) and I plan on one day coining it as a real word in the dictionary. No joke! I shall one day make that world real you have my word! I have bet my friends that I could do so (well I said "I bet you this..." they just didn't say they agree back so I just assumed their unimpressed looks meant they completely agreed with me :) That's definitely what their words and actions signified I'm sure of it!) So my goal is simple: Publish a book or movie in which the word is used in context to allow people to use it further on in life. If Burgess can invent Nadsat I can invent my own slang term of Awesowonderilliant! (I also want to coin the slang term "Littlings" for children or newcomers in the lower years of a school. It's the last year of school for me and it's just so amusing to see all the little year 8's wandering around following each other because they think that somehow the person they're following knows more than them when really they don't... and I can't help but go "Oh look! Littlings are lost!" :P Yes... They're so LITTLE! Like... miniature people to the extreme... so they are now "Littlings" :) There. For those nerds out there; yes, it was inspired by the Jedi term for small children padawans "Younglings" so there's the daily piece of nerd references for you all) So you better all go round using that word! I want to be remembered as the person who coined it! Just like EVERYONE knows that John E. Wall coined the term "Cryptid" in 1983! (ISC Newsletter... although I didn't actually know that until I looked it up... yeah I'm not so nerdy to know where words were coined and when I'm just nerdy enough to know what words were coined recently by people.) Because absolutely EVERYONE knows THAT! (Who doesn't!? Not you for sure you just read it! If you've forgotten already you're kinda stupid or not paying much -iknowwhereyoulive- attention)

My next goal is to create a wikipedia article completely researched and written by me that doesn't get deleted. You see, as childish and amusing normal wikipedian vandalism is ("Oil is a black sticky substance that tastes like chicken..." or "Another example of an optical illusion would be this page. It's not really here and it's an illusion. Woooooooo" or my absolute favourite - although not my own - "THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST! THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST! YOU CANNOT DELETE IT BECAUSE IT DOES NOT EXIST! IT DOES NOT NEED CITATIONS BECAUSE IT DOES NOT EXIST! THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST!" which... unfortunately no longer exists...) there gets to a point where every immature idiot who thinks he's funny (ME! ME! ME! :D) decides that editing wikipedia to say that people who lived in the 18th century were actually superman just isn't that funny anymore and now that they've got banned indefinitely they just can't be bothered making another false account to continue their idiotic antics... (I've got banned twice! :P) But you see why vandalise wikipedia with such obviously stupid nonsense as random incoherent or absurdist-styled sentences when you can create something more subtle? Why not make seemingly legitimate contributions that really just aren't real at all? I'm going to try and edit a few articles and see if I can get something to stay on there... you see, not many people have faith in Wikipedia's authenticity or educational value or even how factually accurate it is but if you ever stop and try to edit something that isn't true into it you'll see just how hard it is for someone to make something that isn't true on there. I've tried so many times to put things on there I've failed so many times... but this time I'm going to be really ingenious and evil. I'm actually going to create references, put things into categories, structure it perfectly and I'm going to do everything that is required to create an article...

It's just all going to be lies :) Very well constructed lies! I'm going to test the boundries of Wikipedia's intelligence and scrutiny and I am going to create the best darn fake article ever! I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to put in it but I know it can be done! For you see there was an article once written that was so genuinely well done and complex that it nearly passed off as real! It was about a historic battle or something and even had a reference to a certain day with a name or something and it was all very well done! It was later found out not to be real but they preserved it anyway in a special page somewhere in the Wikiverse (HUGE big mass of text that only those learned in the special coding of the PHP programming language and can use either the MySQL or PostgreSQL relational database management system can eventually decipher and track down... Like Brion Vibber... or just go to google and type in "Wikipedia Nonsense Page") full of things that administrators needed to clean up but thought were good enough to keep somewhere. Yes, there is a page of things that were too good to permanently delete. This gave me inspiration for this idea that has taken me nearly two years to formulate and I am still thinking over some details but trust me... I shall soon find a way to do as I wish! Mwahahahahahaha! (I'm what's wrong with Wikipedia!.... Sorta!)

Here's the link to things you desperately want to read but didn't know existed! (Because they don't exist!)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:BAD

And here's the link to things you're glad you're smart enough not to try! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:List_of_really,_really,_really_stupid_article_ideas_that_you_really,_really,_really_should_not_create

Maybe I can involve the word "Awesowonderilliant" into wikipedia somehow... maybe wiktionary instead? Hmm... I dream of one day learning how to edit wiktionary... :)