The Limits of the Dead

Bonus cookie points to the person who gets which song that is from... without googling it!

Well OK! Limits of the dead? Well their limits mean that they cannot move anywhere... they also have a lot of trouble picking up guys/girls. Gee it sucks to be dead don't it? Yes... it would suck to be dead...

...which is why my mother can NEVER EVER SEE MY MATHS EXAM! OK my mother is... short description: insane. slightly longer description yet very short in comparison to a proper long one: she is insane and a perfectionist with very high standards. B's are unacceptable.

B's are bad!? I have to get an A in EVERYTHING!? Especially maths which she believes I am awesome at and she and my father are both incredibly good at and all my siblings are good at it and I've previously topped classes when it comes to maths and stuff.... gee wow I must be a disapointment getting only %43 on an exam right? I don't think I am... well I am... but not to myself. Well.... sorta... I did study an awful lot and I really was expecting a %50 but no... it was not to be! In fact, not only did I fail miserably at this maths test but I also have eliminated any A averages I had previously by doing poorly on all my other exams too! OK, I was doing so immensely well in Chemistry I could get %68 on my semester 2 exams and still pass with an A average... I got %61. So not only is that basically the lowest score I have gotten in that class the entire year but I got it on the biggest test of the entire year and no longer have an A average!

Although the %69 on my physics exam, although tragic too and detrimental to my previously A average, did put a bit of a smile on my face. If you must do poorly compared to everyone else on a test then the best you could get is a 69.... percent... (hehehe *immature giggle*)

OK, not everything is a failure. Sure, I have no idea what I got on my english lit exam (NO ONE KNOWS! Why weren't they there? hmm! The English department was sorely lacking in being organised....) and I don't even think my Drama exams were even marked....

... plus I am number one top media student for the entire year.... and have defeated my arch rival who I have fought for dominance over for the entire year and only just have managed to come on top near the end! Mwahahahaha! Watch my media project! Sure, it wasn't the one I beat him on but I have finally finished it and I want the world to see it! :)




So basically... I have achieved the only two goals I really set out to achieve this semester... 1) CRUSH my archrival and become top media student for my year! (mwahahahaha!) and 2) JUST pass intro calc... yeah, so I failed my maths exam BUT... they lowered the cut-off for a C so I still technically pass the subject :)

Remember last exams I answered a bunch of silly answers to questions? Of course you do! You are my adoring fan base.... you looooovveeeee mmeeeee!!! (raarrr! hug me!) and would never forget ANYTHING I have said in my pages and pages of ramblings... or I'd find you...

Well don't worry, I answered stupid questions to these exams too. First off, one I didn't do deliberately....

English Lit:
OK, quick run down of what happened before I get to what I wrote. OK, I sit down, we're given reading time and so I open the booklet to see what questions we have for each sections. I see a question in the Prose section and go "YES! That works so well! In fact, TWO of them are instantly incredibly easy!" then I look at the one of Poetry and instantly go "Yes! That works so well!" then look at the questions for the Drama section and go ".............................." it's like looking at questions specifically designed to annoy you by not actually having any substance or depth to them. Discuss the significance behind the title of a play!? NO! WRONG! We've had that question before and it related to poetry not drama! How do you write 3 pages on why a play is called "Oedipus"? It doesn't work... so I did the question about how earlier scenes in a play prepare you for the end... ok... fine. Sure it'll suck but at least I'll be able to write something on it...

So I start discussing why the opening scene is important in plays. I discuss how they introduce the audience to the characters and the story ect.

"You can tell by how the chorus talks directly to Oedipus and how he was the majority of the dialogue and things are focused around him that he is the main character in the play."

Then I realise.... the play is called Oedipus and all of that didn't really need to be said so in brackets I say "As stated in the title" so yeah... I spent an entire paragraph saying something that didn't need to be said because it's told to you in the flipping TITLE! Grr.... I'll get back to another thing about the English Lit exam later... it's fascinating/I want to complain

OK, in all my other exams except maths I didn't really do anything stupid... well.... besides everything... (oh I don't want my drama exam back... I did at least %15 worse in the exams I got back than I expected I would get as a minimum so considering I think I did abismal in my drama exam I'm pretty sure... I did abismal...)

Maths answers:
OK, some of them weren't really answers... more of weird things I drew on the sides of the paper. Like a stick figure looking over a cliff (I very well drawn cliff) with a stick figure behind it throwing a very large rock at it's head. Then a message next to it saying "I'd like to thank the person who wrote this exam for not including anything about factorising or cubics :)"... no mixed messages there at all! :P

I also drew a pretty awesome drawing of Alien from Alien (and Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Ressurection, Alien vs Predator and Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem) which I realised, as I was drawing it, is indeed a VERY fallic design indeed. Because well if you just look at the head by itself and get rid of the strange long, hard thing that it has in it's drooling mouth that strangely extends every now and then.... and you get this head right... it's long and slender and has no eyes and only an opening at the front where it drools profusely from... yeah... if you don't finish your drawing and only do the main shape and don't put much detail in it... you'll be getting a lot worse comments back on your maths test than just "Please don't draw on your work"

I also wrote on the top of my exam little things like:

survival guide tip #1 whatever you do don't throw away your old maths tests or papers. You never know when you might get lost in the middle of nowhere and need to start a fire. Therefore proving that maths is NOT useless and is helpful and saves 1.5e(0.01t) over log15 + 5 people a year!

hahaha...yeah.... stay in school kids! Helps you in the forest... Anyhoo, next page I wrote on the top the following:

survival guide tip #2 don't write stupid things on your maths test because it angers maths teachers and they know where you live...

And then under that was a picture of a little bald man with glasses on and blood dripping from his fangs....

....That's what maths teachers look like over here in Australia... dripping in the blood of the innocent...

Then, on a question about optimisation and what the maxium area I could get from 600m worth of wire I couldn't answer it so I wrote:

To discover the maximum potential in the things around us we must first realise the full potential in ourselves... I suggest some deep breathing exercises to cleanse the soul...

Well I know... pretty disapointing only drawing and writing a few things to keep my markers amused but I was pressed for time...

I have come to the realisation that this blog has become very very boring... oh well.... who laughs anymore? I don't... I'm grey... I'm sad... I have become goo... biiiiigg squishy goo that types at the keyboard... rraarrrrr bleh...

Lets never speak of goo being on my keyboard again (hahaha you little kids don't get that joke! I hope you don't at least... you never know with kids these days...)

OK! Back to the English Lit exam! OK, in my injokes post I said "YOU SIR!" then did a victory thingy... well... long story short: I have a competition with someone to say "you sir!" and point at the other person before they can do it back... now, this person isn't in any of my classes or even year so I never have this problem except lunch or recess... (can only say it to each other once per siren) but one person has decided they want to be part of this one-on-one competition and invited themselves on this competition... sure, I don't mind too much... I don't care really...

...but you know... when you say it to me TWICE during an EXAM that kinda annoys me.

OK a certain person decided that they would say "you sir!" to me during the exam... and because it was over 3 hours then the siren would go twice. So they're sitting there when there's a siren in the distance and he turns- MID SENTENCE- and goes "you sir!" as quiet as he can... come on why didn't anyone notice that!?

He broke SO MANY RULES! OK...

1) He brought in a pencil case, which is forbidden. All items must be brought in a plastic sleeve or carried.

2) He had PAPER (with something written/typed on it) which is also forbidden. NO NOTES OF ANY KIND! (Although they probably weren't notes and he never used them... you're still not supposed to have paper)

3) He brought in a water bottle with a label on it. Also forbidden because labels can hold notes...

4) He brought a GRAPHICS CALCULATOR to an ENGLISH LIT exam! What the hell!? Not only is that... against the rules but just plain BLOODY BIZARRE! :S Like... what?

5) He TALKED! He talked twice as I've mentioned....

Come on... seriously how did he get away with that? I don't like that... grr... he also had white out which last I heard was against the rules but apparently it's not... he asked a teacher and it's allowed just really not reccomended.... just cross things out. It takes less time...

He also did a little warm up dance in his chair... that's not against the rules... in fact... it was very amusing :D Head rolling around and shoulders moving up and down as he moved back and forth and put his arms up... incredibly weird :P And if that person is reading this then yes... yes lots of people were watching you going "wtf?"

I got my revenge on those who did not punish the guy who broke pretty much every rule... I sharpened my pencil a lot throughout the exam because I really like having my pencils really sharp. I don't get how people can write with really blunt stubbly pieces of lead just sticking out of the wood... no! It has to be sharp! Everything is in detail because if its smudged or thick it becomes far too impossible to distinguish lines in my writing and it becomes unintelligable! :P Yes, well my pencil sharpenings eventually became a very large collection on the floor as the spread out all over the carpet... I'm sure the cleaner would've hated that...

Unfortunately at the end of the exam they told everyone to clean their areas and not leave rubbish lying on the ground around them so my large amount of pencil sharpenings all of a sudden was a bad idea... even though I didn't really try to make a big pile... it just turned out that way... oh well... the things we end up inflicting upon ourselves...

Let us Glomp the Heathens!

Glomping. Google it. Nasty. Anyhoo, my mother is a christian and so am I but I just don't really go to church too often (Maybe if I was awake early enough to get ready? Also maybe if teachers didn't give me so much homework? Yeah, that's right, homework and academic achievement is causing our children to burn in hell :) Yay for good report cards! :P High maths scores aren't just completely pointless but satanic too!) so she's decided to find a church that's convinient to go to and she thought she had found one (It had teenagers in the pictures on the website! Teenagers!) so we basically drive along towards it and she forces me to read the road map (Bah! Maps... also spawn of satan) and in the end we get there 10 minutes early. Now this is apparently a bad thing according to my devout christian mother because we're new to this church. Unless you haven't noticed: being early to a new church is very very bad because people apparently will try to talk to you! (gasp! :O! But... part of the reason was so I would talk to people... teenagers! Instead of the two score of octegenarians in our other church) So my mother really didn't want to go inside for 10 minutes because they'll just flock to us noobs (Noob alert! Preparing to save...) and try to welcome us and get involved and socialise and worst of all... try to save us! If we went in 10 minutes early we'd be glomped by baptists trying to convert us to something we already were part of so my mother solution to learning new faces: Continue driving down the road. Now this would be a good idea if the road didn't connect to a highway... a long highway where you can't turn around... so we went down it, we passed some really old houses from collonial times, we kept going, we passed another church and eventually managed to turn around and find our way back to the church with no time to spare. Perfect! Punctuality saves us from hell.... and people... Well while driving around we had our fun avoiding Christians and joking around about what we would say if they tried to talk to us to see if we were christians. The favourites included: "Hey want to go get mass married with 100 strangers with me next weekend?" and "Praise Allah!" just to see the reactions we would get :D Anyhoo, we go inside and only one person tries talking to us on the way in before we sit down and church starts. About 2 hours (or most likely longer according to what it felt like) we leave and some random old person asks my mother if she'd mind her taking my curls. Yeah, old people are jealous of my hair, sorry but it's true! Older women totally dig my lucious thick red curls and untameable hair :D Just.... I don't share a mutual affection for their gray strands that are loosely scattered on their heads... But yeah, people seriously adore my hair... mainly older women like those at church, used car saleswomen (crazy used car saleswomen...) and school gardners but the occasional younger woman falls for my physical charm ;) (Because my hair is so totally smexier than thou) Anyhoo, after a very brief conversation basically telling her that NO! NO she may NOT have my hair! (As clearly stated and conveyed when I replied "no" to her question "Doesn't it frustrate you when it gets knotted?") we left and instead of finding a more convinient church to go to, my mother basically decides that, even though the idea was to get my and my siblings opinion on the church, she doesn't like the church because the guy giving the sermon talked nonstop without making a point. OK so apparently my occasional thoughts drifting off to something else for a moment (like "what happened to the baby that was right infront of me 10 minutes ago? The mother walked away with it then came back without it and now it's gone...") before snapping back to what he was saying weren't the thing stopping me from understand what life guards at the beach had to do with Moses fleeing egypt and seeing a burning bush. Moses was in a tidal rip which caused him to go out of egypt and then the burning bush was a man dressed in yellow and red and then we realise why we need God in everyday life... if that makes sense then congratulations! I'll see you in heaven... in the meantime my theologean mother says that he kept talking without getting anywhere and we're never going back there again.

And that is the story... of how we nearly got glomped by christians...

... oh yeah then we went home and ate pancakes. It was fun.... yep... I just thought I'd say that because it's about as useful to you knowing that as it is to know that going to church may cause high risk levels of people trying to talk to you.

Oh yeah... plus the internet lied... it was still full of old people with very very few people my age... so that's where old people congegrate when the suns out! :O Churches! (Because zombies can't get in to feast on the old people flesh)