Paranormal Activi-SHUT THE HELL UP!

Let me tell you the story of how I decided to go see Paranormal Activity 2 with a friend.

Kids from the theatre: if you're reading this I can only assume that you're so petty as to hold a grudge and are attempting to stalk me? Kindly move on. I know I did like... hours ago. It was so minor a conflict, learn to let things go.

Back to the story:

"Hey, come see this movie with me!"
"...OK sure."

We bought tickets to the film! Everyone waved and called out to my friend because apparently every 14/15 year old there (which was over 90% of the audience...) knew her and went to her school. Good for them. I sure hope they don't think I'm dating her...

We walk into the theatre. As the previews roll, someone gets out their green laser pointer...

Oh. Good.

Well you know normally there's that little bit of chatter during the previews and no one minds because you know it's just trailers and ads and then when the film is about to start there's a hushed shh? Well that didn't happen. People just got LOUDER as the film started.

The green laser pointer went away pretty quickly into the film so that was good.

But everyone was just so juvenile, immature and obnoxious. I should have asked for my money back.

The idea behind the Paranormal Activity films is to immerse you in silence... it builds the tension and suspense up by having pointless seeming shots that are incredibly inactive for long periods of time. There's barely any sound and no music to build mood or even give a beat. You sit... and wait... and then even simple things become freaky. Then big things become HUGE and creepy as all hell. It's simple, it's creepy, if it's watched during the day or with noise in the background the film is outright ruined.

So imagine my frustration when there's not just one or two noisy movie goers but an ENTIRE CROWD! They laughed and joked and yelled out things during the film almost constantly. If something scary was about to happen someone had to break the tension with noise. If something scary just happened they had to ruin it by laughing at those who were scared. I only got two scares out of the film when there should've been more. Though apparently it gets better later on so that sucks that I left early...

"I'll give you $5 if you punch that guy who is talking over there..."
"The one in the middle? Sure."

I went a few seats forward and sat there waiting for him to talk... the guy next to him did first so I slapped him in the back of the head and ran back to my seat. I nearly ran into someone returning. It was amusing but then I realised that they were very angry and were talking, pointing at me and looking back and I thought "oh... great... they're going to hit me as soon as I walk out..."

You know I wasn't really scared that they'd severely hurt me, they were 15... (which I learnt soon after when my friend goes "that guy next to him goes to my school... don't worry they're all 15") but I like to avoid conflict if I can. Sure, slapping someone seems to invite it but I wanted to move to a part of the theatre where they couldn't just turn their heads and see me.

But the film itself. That was interesting. It unfortunately (to its demise) at times added in a little bit of humour which just put the audience off for what would happen next... which wasn't a bang or a crash but words and revelations that should've been more shocking but weren't. Though some of the scares were so huge that not even the audiences poor manners made boring. One was big and sudden and garnered a reaction I have never experienced before in a movie theatre. You know in the trailers for Paranormal Activity they show you the audience screaming (because they can't show much footage from the film because it's not that interesting trailer-wise)? Well that didn't happen for the first film but in the 2nd one it did when I was there. All the girls were SCREAMING and other people were pretending to scream to mock them and then everyone else was laughing at those who were screaming instead of just jumping and so you've got screaming and laughing at the same time... accompanied by CLAPPING. Yes, apparently the scare was SO GOOD that people decided to applaud it. Bravo film, bravo! I have never been in an audience that has applauded a film half-way through...

There was another scare. The difference between the first film and the second is the second has a lot more camera angles. It's mainly security footage interspersed with a character picking up a camera occasionally so you get different shots. There was one bit that just had the female part of the audience screeching their heads off, it was actually quite brilliant and the highlight of the film (that I stuck around to watch) and the thing was there was the initial shock of it all so lots of people screamed but then it cut to a new angle (because the character was moving, I won't tell you why or where) and the screams would start again and it cut again and then more screaming and it just didn't die down. The woman runs somewhere and BAM! Another shock scare followed by a cut and more screaming and screaming and screaming. It was good, that bit made me jump and got my heart racing. I didn't scream, I don't do that.

But as always, the other half of the audience decided that this was the opportune moment to KEEP TALKING AND LAUGHING. Seriously the film actually had a really interesting part, LET ME WATCH IT WITH THE SCREAMS OF FEAR OF LITTLE GIRLS INTENDED!

Convinced that this audience would not get any less annoying and that the film was ruined I did what I've never done before...

...walk out. Never been so utterly annoyed/bored because I can't engage in a film that I walked out. That's just how bad it was. I wasn't the one who suggested it btw, it was my friend who was like "let's go" so I just agreed. Terrible circumstances.

The problem was that the kid I slapped walked out with me... along with 5 of his friends.

Oh no. Children...

I ignored them until they tapped me on the shoulder and it would've been rude to ignore them. They were instantly trying to intimidate me with their back up and swear words. Whatever guys. I found the one that I hit and explained "I'm sorry but everyone was talking and I was very annoyed, I couldn't enjoy the film because of the noise so I took my anger out on you because you talked. I apologise." So I explained that it wasn't personal.

They didn't accept the apology.

"We're going to bomb you!" - I could tell from the context that "bomb" meant "beat". Kids these days with their slang... what?

Insert more swear words, angry looks and such. You know where someone moves their head quickly towards someone's face to get them to flinch so they look tougher? He did that really close to my face really quickly. I didn't even flinch because it was just bizarre and pathetic not scary... he's a kid moving his face UP towards mine not DOWN at me... I apologised again, they didn't like it and I was like "Can't you take an apology?" and they said "No." (More of the same rar rar we're intimidating you because you're a c*** p**** get the f*** away because blah blah blah bomb blah blah) You know they said my slap was unimpressive and weak (it was meant to be weak, I didn't want to physically harm you dude I just wanted you and every one else to shut up) and I apologised thoroughly, what more does one want really? Leave me alone.

They told me to walk away or more threatening things will occur and you know I didn't want to look submissive but hey I had said everything I could, the conversation wasn't going anywhere and I just wanted the conflict resolved so I left as they wished. They went back to whatever and my friend and I had a good laugh about it afterwards along with the less impressive parts of the film. You see that's what you do, you laugh about things and be loud AFTER the film not DURING it when people are trying to enjoy it!

I don't want to pay more money to see the end of that film... so I'm not going to.

This just in! One of the "posse" just tried to add me on Facebook. Dude, what? You had to go through the trouble of finding me online? Let. It. Go.

They're now talking on my friends wall laughing about me laughing about how I "ran away" and how funny it was when that guy tried to headbutt me... Oh so that's what that was. It didn't make contact. We laughed about it too, apparently all involved thought it was funny. My friend thought he was about to kiss me. I'm not going to continue that thought with jokes about him or his look or that would be mean and I don't want to be mean to these kids... they're just kids. I slapped one, I probably shouldn't have (there were others much more deserving of a slap, that and I now know that violence really isn't an effective communication tool... though they were quieter after I had hit them, it's probably because they were plotting against me instead of understanding that I wanted them - along with EVERYONE ELSE - to be quieter) and then I apologised multiple times. There doesn't need to be any more conflict and I certainly don't want to encourage that... especially not with troubled kids.

So I'm going to ignore them now and let them talk themselves up as so high and mighty amongst themselves, exaggerate the story perhaps a little about me "running in fear" (I actually left because my friend was so annoyed at everyone talking that she was too bored to watch the rest of the film so she decided to leave and I just followed...) and whatever. Eventually they'll move past it and hopefully I'll never run into them again...

Or... oh no! More words! More harsh crude words!

I don't care too much for the opinions of my peers let alone the scorn of children...

Goodnight and remember, please turn your phone off during the duration of the film and be silent out of courtesy for other patrons. Thank you.

The Limits of the Dead

Bonus cookie points to the person who gets which song that is from... without googling it!

Well OK! Limits of the dead? Well their limits mean that they cannot move anywhere... they also have a lot of trouble picking up guys/girls. Gee it sucks to be dead don't it? Yes... it would suck to be dead...

...which is why my mother can NEVER EVER SEE MY MATHS EXAM! OK my mother is... short description: insane. slightly longer description yet very short in comparison to a proper long one: she is insane and a perfectionist with very high standards. B's are unacceptable.

B's are bad!? I have to get an A in EVERYTHING!? Especially maths which she believes I am awesome at and she and my father are both incredibly good at and all my siblings are good at it and I've previously topped classes when it comes to maths and stuff.... gee wow I must be a disapointment getting only %43 on an exam right? I don't think I am... well I am... but not to myself. Well.... sorta... I did study an awful lot and I really was expecting a %50 but no... it was not to be! In fact, not only did I fail miserably at this maths test but I also have eliminated any A averages I had previously by doing poorly on all my other exams too! OK, I was doing so immensely well in Chemistry I could get %68 on my semester 2 exams and still pass with an A average... I got %61. So not only is that basically the lowest score I have gotten in that class the entire year but I got it on the biggest test of the entire year and no longer have an A average!

Although the %69 on my physics exam, although tragic too and detrimental to my previously A average, did put a bit of a smile on my face. If you must do poorly compared to everyone else on a test then the best you could get is a 69.... percent... (hehehe *immature giggle*)

OK, not everything is a failure. Sure, I have no idea what I got on my english lit exam (NO ONE KNOWS! Why weren't they there? hmm! The English department was sorely lacking in being organised....) and I don't even think my Drama exams were even marked....

... plus I am number one top media student for the entire year.... and have defeated my arch rival who I have fought for dominance over for the entire year and only just have managed to come on top near the end! Mwahahahaha! Watch my media project! Sure, it wasn't the one I beat him on but I have finally finished it and I want the world to see it! :)




So basically... I have achieved the only two goals I really set out to achieve this semester... 1) CRUSH my archrival and become top media student for my year! (mwahahahaha!) and 2) JUST pass intro calc... yeah, so I failed my maths exam BUT... they lowered the cut-off for a C so I still technically pass the subject :)

Remember last exams I answered a bunch of silly answers to questions? Of course you do! You are my adoring fan base.... you looooovveeeee mmeeeee!!! (raarrr! hug me!) and would never forget ANYTHING I have said in my pages and pages of ramblings... or I'd find you...

Well don't worry, I answered stupid questions to these exams too. First off, one I didn't do deliberately....

English Lit:
OK, quick run down of what happened before I get to what I wrote. OK, I sit down, we're given reading time and so I open the booklet to see what questions we have for each sections. I see a question in the Prose section and go "YES! That works so well! In fact, TWO of them are instantly incredibly easy!" then I look at the one of Poetry and instantly go "Yes! That works so well!" then look at the questions for the Drama section and go ".............................." it's like looking at questions specifically designed to annoy you by not actually having any substance or depth to them. Discuss the significance behind the title of a play!? NO! WRONG! We've had that question before and it related to poetry not drama! How do you write 3 pages on why a play is called "Oedipus"? It doesn't work... so I did the question about how earlier scenes in a play prepare you for the end... ok... fine. Sure it'll suck but at least I'll be able to write something on it...

So I start discussing why the opening scene is important in plays. I discuss how they introduce the audience to the characters and the story ect.

"You can tell by how the chorus talks directly to Oedipus and how he was the majority of the dialogue and things are focused around him that he is the main character in the play."

Then I realise.... the play is called Oedipus and all of that didn't really need to be said so in brackets I say "As stated in the title" so yeah... I spent an entire paragraph saying something that didn't need to be said because it's told to you in the flipping TITLE! Grr.... I'll get back to another thing about the English Lit exam later... it's fascinating/I want to complain

OK, in all my other exams except maths I didn't really do anything stupid... well.... besides everything... (oh I don't want my drama exam back... I did at least %15 worse in the exams I got back than I expected I would get as a minimum so considering I think I did abismal in my drama exam I'm pretty sure... I did abismal...)

Maths answers:
OK, some of them weren't really answers... more of weird things I drew on the sides of the paper. Like a stick figure looking over a cliff (I very well drawn cliff) with a stick figure behind it throwing a very large rock at it's head. Then a message next to it saying "I'd like to thank the person who wrote this exam for not including anything about factorising or cubics :)"... no mixed messages there at all! :P

I also drew a pretty awesome drawing of Alien from Alien (and Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Ressurection, Alien vs Predator and Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem) which I realised, as I was drawing it, is indeed a VERY fallic design indeed. Because well if you just look at the head by itself and get rid of the strange long, hard thing that it has in it's drooling mouth that strangely extends every now and then.... and you get this head right... it's long and slender and has no eyes and only an opening at the front where it drools profusely from... yeah... if you don't finish your drawing and only do the main shape and don't put much detail in it... you'll be getting a lot worse comments back on your maths test than just "Please don't draw on your work"

I also wrote on the top of my exam little things like:

survival guide tip #1 whatever you do don't throw away your old maths tests or papers. You never know when you might get lost in the middle of nowhere and need to start a fire. Therefore proving that maths is NOT useless and is helpful and saves 1.5e(0.01t) over log15 + 5 people a year!

hahaha...yeah.... stay in school kids! Helps you in the forest... Anyhoo, next page I wrote on the top the following:

survival guide tip #2 don't write stupid things on your maths test because it angers maths teachers and they know where you live...

And then under that was a picture of a little bald man with glasses on and blood dripping from his fangs....

....That's what maths teachers look like over here in Australia... dripping in the blood of the innocent...

Then, on a question about optimisation and what the maxium area I could get from 600m worth of wire I couldn't answer it so I wrote:

To discover the maximum potential in the things around us we must first realise the full potential in ourselves... I suggest some deep breathing exercises to cleanse the soul...

Well I know... pretty disapointing only drawing and writing a few things to keep my markers amused but I was pressed for time...

I have come to the realisation that this blog has become very very boring... oh well.... who laughs anymore? I don't... I'm grey... I'm sad... I have become goo... biiiiigg squishy goo that types at the keyboard... rraarrrrr bleh...

Lets never speak of goo being on my keyboard again (hahaha you little kids don't get that joke! I hope you don't at least... you never know with kids these days...)

OK! Back to the English Lit exam! OK, in my injokes post I said "YOU SIR!" then did a victory thingy... well... long story short: I have a competition with someone to say "you sir!" and point at the other person before they can do it back... now, this person isn't in any of my classes or even year so I never have this problem except lunch or recess... (can only say it to each other once per siren) but one person has decided they want to be part of this one-on-one competition and invited themselves on this competition... sure, I don't mind too much... I don't care really...

...but you know... when you say it to me TWICE during an EXAM that kinda annoys me.

OK a certain person decided that they would say "you sir!" to me during the exam... and because it was over 3 hours then the siren would go twice. So they're sitting there when there's a siren in the distance and he turns- MID SENTENCE- and goes "you sir!" as quiet as he can... come on why didn't anyone notice that!?

He broke SO MANY RULES! OK...

1) He brought in a pencil case, which is forbidden. All items must be brought in a plastic sleeve or carried.

2) He had PAPER (with something written/typed on it) which is also forbidden. NO NOTES OF ANY KIND! (Although they probably weren't notes and he never used them... you're still not supposed to have paper)

3) He brought in a water bottle with a label on it. Also forbidden because labels can hold notes...

4) He brought a GRAPHICS CALCULATOR to an ENGLISH LIT exam! What the hell!? Not only is that... against the rules but just plain BLOODY BIZARRE! :S Like... what?

5) He TALKED! He talked twice as I've mentioned....

Come on... seriously how did he get away with that? I don't like that... grr... he also had white out which last I heard was against the rules but apparently it's not... he asked a teacher and it's allowed just really not reccomended.... just cross things out. It takes less time...

He also did a little warm up dance in his chair... that's not against the rules... in fact... it was very amusing :D Head rolling around and shoulders moving up and down as he moved back and forth and put his arms up... incredibly weird :P And if that person is reading this then yes... yes lots of people were watching you going "wtf?"

I got my revenge on those who did not punish the guy who broke pretty much every rule... I sharpened my pencil a lot throughout the exam because I really like having my pencils really sharp. I don't get how people can write with really blunt stubbly pieces of lead just sticking out of the wood... no! It has to be sharp! Everything is in detail because if its smudged or thick it becomes far too impossible to distinguish lines in my writing and it becomes unintelligable! :P Yes, well my pencil sharpenings eventually became a very large collection on the floor as the spread out all over the carpet... I'm sure the cleaner would've hated that...

Unfortunately at the end of the exam they told everyone to clean their areas and not leave rubbish lying on the ground around them so my large amount of pencil sharpenings all of a sudden was a bad idea... even though I didn't really try to make a big pile... it just turned out that way... oh well... the things we end up inflicting upon ourselves...