Valentines Day

OK people, raise your hands if you actually like this day? OK. That's not impressive. I didn't see anyone raise their hands! Granted, I am typing at a screen and thus can only see the words that I type, but I mean surely you didn't raise your hand when reading this did you? Did you!?

I didn't...

Well I personally think it's an excuse to sell soppy cards and ridiculous amounts of flowers and chocolates that are coloured red or pink because our world wasn't commercial enough. You think you think this because you're single, lonely, and don't have anyone to give you your very own stuffed bear holding a love heart that says "I wuv oo!" Then you get that special someone, and you realise that actually no... previously it was fine as it was. You didn't need to spend any money back then or be seen dead in one of those stores that have nothing but purely pink junk designed to make you feel inferior for not buying them all!

Thankfully for me I have a brilliant combination of these two worlds. I have someone special and awesome, but I also have managed to avoid having to buy anything at all this year! Lorna has seen the light and has said not to buy her such soppy love cards in stores and all that other stuff because it's all bleh and such. Which is great because I sure as hell couldn't afford any of it because I am very poor...

So yay! I don't have to buy the same cliche junk as everyone else but I do get the elated feeling of knowing that I saw her today. Not for very long though, and we ended up seeing Valentines Day the film with such great actors like... Taylor Lautner... Taylor Swift... Ashton Kutcher. OK no it had some good actors in it like Jamie Foxx. In fact it had many good actors. So many actors that none of them actually got to show off any real talent because none of their characters got more than 20 minutes collective screen time. It was all just hey let's cram 12 small plots together into the space of 2 hours and 5 minutes and hope the people watching make any particular bonds with any of the characters. It wasn't one of those cool films where the lives of random unconnected people seem to intersect in major ways like Pulp Fiction it was just one of those films where the writer had many many ideas and not much descisiveness or ability to expand. It was basically every situation you can think of in a romantic comedy all stuffed into one. There was the guy who gets with his best friend after realising his girlfriend isn't right for him, the person who discovers the cheater and then has a happy ending, ect ect. The lives were only occasionally connected in very very minor ways like the two people would go to a similar resturaunt. To be fair, I did find it hilariously ironic that Taylor Lautner's character was too embarrassed to take it shirt off in public. No one else laughed at that... Also, I did manage to feel for Ashton Kutcher's character, probably because he had more of the movie to his story than other less interesting storylines. It was sad but then had a good ending. No massive surprises but it was sweet.

The entire thing was sweet in the end. It's exactly what you'd think of a romantic comedy for valentines day. Sweet, makes you smile at times, gives you the delusion that the girl next to you is going to let you get lucky afterwards... that sort of thing (the only reason ever to see a romantic comedy)

Hey everyone! It's Exactly 12 years since the film Titanic had it's single highest grossing day! Yes, and it did this over 6 weeks after it's release. Yes, how many films do you know that do that?

It's also 81 years since the St Valentines Day Massacre in Chicago, Illinois.

That's just so cheery! Hey, wouldn't it be so much more fun (for those morbid, anti-valentines day people) if instead of getting a teddy bear in a store, you'd find a gravestone saying "RIP North Side Irish Seven, 1929"? Or a commemorative Thompson sub-machine gun. "For all your valentines day needs" It goes great because then you can pretend what you're drinking is bootlegged booze and pretend you're a gangster. Or even better! A big teddy bear thats says "I wuv oo Bugs Moran to death!"

Yeah I think I'll stop with the horrific and poor taste jokes about valentines day meets death. Though what else is there to think about on today besides love? Today is love and death all rolled into one. Sometimes both put together in the case of Titanic. So yeah, it totally fits right?

Also, by the way for those who don't know, I'm making a facebook album entitled "My 1000 Sunsets" which is exactly what it sounds like. A compilation of 1000 sunsets which will take years to make but I want to make it anyway. Of course I can only upload one photo per sunset otherwise it won't be 1000 different and unique sunsets then. Well sometimes it's pretty hard to choose my favourite photo out of them all but I manage. But tonights sunset was just so incredibly beautiful that I had dificulty choosing so I've decided to post the extra ones that didn't get chosen here. Enjoy the sunset of Valentines Day 2010!













And for those who don't have facebook I will show you the one I chose out of all of them. Then I will also show you the original because I have a slight confession. These photos are slightly edited digitally. Well sorry but my camera is quite cheap and old OK? It's not even mine it's my mothers and she thought "It takes photos, thus it is sufficient". Well yes, to compensate for the fact that my camera doesn't really show off colour too well I occasionally change the contrast (only a bit, too much and the photo looks fake) to make things more defined. So here's the original:



And the slightly altered version:



As you can see I've decreased the brightness slightly and increased the constrast slightly more. It makes sunsets that previously didn't look as good on camera as they did in real life, look just as awesome as they did in real life! Or maybe even better? That's my tip to you sneaky photographers who thought something was really cool but then just didn't quite turn out as you had imagined... No photoshop required.

Reverse that mans' Polarity! (Twilight)

Reversing the polarity solves everything! That and sticky tape! Sticky tape that you have reversed the polarity of works better than anything else in the world but is reversed only to Chuck Norris, Elmo and Jesus and so mere mortals cannot waste the limited supply of reversed polarity sticky tape. Reversed Polarity Stick Tape (or RPST) is also used to power Doctor Who's sonic screwdriver. I don't know what that has to do with anything. I've been exceptionally random occasionally recently to be honest (I am far too honest too, I have got to the point that I feel like I don't just need to tell people the truth but everything entirely even if they didn't ask... hence I have a blog?) so I've been coming up with weird things about Monkies in Pinatas and strange things to do with Muffins.... why those need capitals who knows? "Muffin" is now a pronoun. (And you shall worship it?) Anyhoo...

Stephanie Meyer has trapped me in a world without consideration for pace or realism. Curse you Stephanie Meyer and your slow paced yet strangely enjoyable novels about a boy who is a bizarrely bizarre oddity who doesn't age. My word! How shocking! Being 709 I have no particular interest in 110 year old vampires but will still like to see he movie. That doesn't make sense! I get annoyingly addicted to the Twilight series and everytime I get near the book I need to read it... but then after a while realise that I can escape and thus do so and actually have a life... It is essentially a book specifically designed to appeal to female teenage audiences not guys. It creates a pitiful and pathetic female character that very few girls can actually relate to... the only thing is, the girls who read the book... don't know that. OK, sorry to Bella (the person Bella not the fictional character Bella) and Rayne and... Brooke ect and to anyone reading this who is a diehard fan of Twilight (chances are, you're a girl!) because this isn't going to rave and rant on about how good it is but then again I'm not going to say it's bad either. Let me continue. OK, the character doesn't think she's good looking, she thinks she's bland and boring and pathetic and really isn't the most popular person and (and I'm using too many "and"s) keeps comparing herself to these vampires and thinks that people always look and are better than her. I have noticed, as probably every guy in the world with a brain, that girl's will often have the same opinion about themselves as Bella. Now, you take a character that ISN'T ACTUALLY LIKE ANYONE but everyone seems to think they are like (like hell you are people! If you read the book you'll notice that you're nothing like Bella besides the fact that you don't like yourself too much and that's unjustified) and you give this character this goal, this dream, this inevitable idea that she will one day be perfect and she will have the most perfect and handsome and loving and caring guy who will never age, who will never die, never leave you and you can live together in perfect happiness for all eternity in each others arms.... and in achieving having this guy for yourself you also inherently become perfect yourself and all your physical blemishes and pathetic little trips and falls and inability to do anythingness leaves and goes away because you are now an immortal being. Now who doesn't want the perfect guy who is sexier than anyone else, completely devoted to you and will never age to have to themselves?

That is why that the book is perfect for young teenage girls. Because they have this fantasy to escape to of a perfect life because they think they're not really worth much. They think they can relate to Bella's imperfections... but they really can't. I'm sorry people but a lot of you just are nothing like this character in almost every way so it's... a book that is successful because the youth of today hates itself? Because quite frankly, no offence to the book or anything, but each book always starts off very slowly, it's not too intense on plot until near the end when stuff actually starts happening and there's real obvious danger and trying to kill people (or, not even killing anyone) and stuff. It's good but people who are obsessed with it, are girls...

Midnight sun on the other hand...

... IS AWESOME!!!

It's written from the point of view of Edward and doesn't appeal to a female audience nearly as much as Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because it talks more about blood and internal struggles as compared to confused wondering and long descriptions of how hot Edward is... I love it, I am addicted to Midnight Sun and keep wanting to read it and staying up late because of it! I like Edward... he's awesome (and Jacob is annoying). I really want Stephanie to continue to write it dammit so when I get to the end it'll be the proper end! But oh well, maybe one day.

I don't think I was going to blog about that at all but did. OK, I just said my opinion....

Why do my blog titles never have anything to do with the content of them!? :S OK! I'm adding in "(Twilight)" to the title of this post. Maybe that will warn away a few of the anti-twilight people I know of... who refuse to conform to the masses and read the damn book. Quite frankly why should they give in? (Don't yell at me Twilight fans! Don't yell at me!) It is not the greatest book of all time, it might not even become a classic and not everyone needs or should read it.... I only encourage people to read Midnight Sun I don't encourage other people to read Twilight (Although unfortunately you should read Twilight if you're going to make sense of Midnight Sun) because I really don't think it needs me to help it get read. It has it's legions of followers who are all secretly wanting to be vampires! Anyone dare say they hate Edward Cullen and in 3 seconds you'll be on the floor being mobbed by the nearest teenage girls as the screech their eery death screeches of anguish and hatred at you! "EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HOT! HOW DARE YOU!" and then you be dead.

... I actually wanted this post to be not-serious and funny but it's become very very serious... I am not joking about that last part about the teenage girls attacking you in waves and waves of angry slapping across the face. There is nothing funny about enraged Edward-Fan beatings... it happens twice daily in the US alone.... think about it...

Oh yeah, plus I visited the terrorists lair today and she straightened my hair. I was too tired from job hunting (Terrorists also force me to become one of the working masses for some bizarre reasons) so I was like "meh..." but I wasn't too tired to refuse to let her paint my nails. NO! No, you can't paint my nails... I don't mind straight hair just no nail painting!

I'm a smexy fishy... yes... it used to be a lot more straight than that but I took that picture who knows how many hours afterwards. Oh well. I think I look good with long flowing straight hair, a beard and a moustache don't you? Of course you do! I AM YOUR MASTER! OK, gone back to being weird! Woo!