Death to Trees!

Recently I decided that enough is enough. Sure, I am permanently unemployable according to past experience but if I've learnt anything from the past 3 years of constant trying it's this...

Try harder.

Resumes are propaganda and you just need to put enough of it out there before someone actually believes you are worth the job. I firmly believe that stubbornness is the best way to get things done, because persistence and resilience is really just a kind of stubbornness. Don't think I'm worth giving a job to? Well I'll try somewhere else. I'll try again in 3 months. I won't stop bugging you.



Image from: Here

So recently I have decided to apply to at least one place every single day until I get a job. It's not a "oh I've done one job application I can tick that off my list of things to do today" nonsense. No. It's a print out a dozen resumes and see how fast I can get rid of them kind of thing.

I will not stop killing off the trees until I get an interview! Want the rainforests to be preserved? Then lower the damn unemployment rate by employing me! May the end of preservation hang heavy on the guilty conscience of the local retail business not mine. I blame them entirely for my print, hand out, repeat attitude.

I walk into stores, find the manager and go "Merry Christmas!" as I hand them a resume. Sometimes I even say "Give me the gift of a job this Christmas" just to make them feel guilty for not considering it. If you need a Christmas Casual you cannot overlook me! The delightful spry adult who needs someone to interview him to know just how brilliant he can be at whatever job that you need!

I don't care if most of you employers will take one look at my long curly hair and beard and think I'm a lazy slob, I don't care if they skim read it, see no outstanding record of retail experience at age 18, I will not stop trying. Someone out there is going to stop and think "He's 18 with no proper experience... because before no one would hire him because he was 17 with no proper experience..." thus realising that it is not a deficiency on my side, but actually an unfortunate cycle of "you don't have experience thus I won't employ you" preventing me from getting experience to ACTUALLY GET EMPLOYED!

So death to the trees. I wish it hadn't come to this... but the environment must die if I am to ever hope of rising above the curse of unemployment. Sorry Environment...

Failure has only brought me to become more determined. Bring it world.

Bring it.

Valentines Day

OK people, raise your hands if you actually like this day? OK. That's not impressive. I didn't see anyone raise their hands! Granted, I am typing at a screen and thus can only see the words that I type, but I mean surely you didn't raise your hand when reading this did you? Did you!?

I didn't...

Well I personally think it's an excuse to sell soppy cards and ridiculous amounts of flowers and chocolates that are coloured red or pink because our world wasn't commercial enough. You think you think this because you're single, lonely, and don't have anyone to give you your very own stuffed bear holding a love heart that says "I wuv oo!" Then you get that special someone, and you realise that actually no... previously it was fine as it was. You didn't need to spend any money back then or be seen dead in one of those stores that have nothing but purely pink junk designed to make you feel inferior for not buying them all!

Thankfully for me I have a brilliant combination of these two worlds. I have someone special and awesome, but I also have managed to avoid having to buy anything at all this year! Lorna has seen the light and has said not to buy her such soppy love cards in stores and all that other stuff because it's all bleh and such. Which is great because I sure as hell couldn't afford any of it because I am very poor...

So yay! I don't have to buy the same cliche junk as everyone else but I do get the elated feeling of knowing that I saw her today. Not for very long though, and we ended up seeing Valentines Day the film with such great actors like... Taylor Lautner... Taylor Swift... Ashton Kutcher. OK no it had some good actors in it like Jamie Foxx. In fact it had many good actors. So many actors that none of them actually got to show off any real talent because none of their characters got more than 20 minutes collective screen time. It was all just hey let's cram 12 small plots together into the space of 2 hours and 5 minutes and hope the people watching make any particular bonds with any of the characters. It wasn't one of those cool films where the lives of random unconnected people seem to intersect in major ways like Pulp Fiction it was just one of those films where the writer had many many ideas and not much descisiveness or ability to expand. It was basically every situation you can think of in a romantic comedy all stuffed into one. There was the guy who gets with his best friend after realising his girlfriend isn't right for him, the person who discovers the cheater and then has a happy ending, ect ect. The lives were only occasionally connected in very very minor ways like the two people would go to a similar resturaunt. To be fair, I did find it hilariously ironic that Taylor Lautner's character was too embarrassed to take it shirt off in public. No one else laughed at that... Also, I did manage to feel for Ashton Kutcher's character, probably because he had more of the movie to his story than other less interesting storylines. It was sad but then had a good ending. No massive surprises but it was sweet.

The entire thing was sweet in the end. It's exactly what you'd think of a romantic comedy for valentines day. Sweet, makes you smile at times, gives you the delusion that the girl next to you is going to let you get lucky afterwards... that sort of thing (the only reason ever to see a romantic comedy)

Hey everyone! It's Exactly 12 years since the film Titanic had it's single highest grossing day! Yes, and it did this over 6 weeks after it's release. Yes, how many films do you know that do that?

It's also 81 years since the St Valentines Day Massacre in Chicago, Illinois.

That's just so cheery! Hey, wouldn't it be so much more fun (for those morbid, anti-valentines day people) if instead of getting a teddy bear in a store, you'd find a gravestone saying "RIP North Side Irish Seven, 1929"? Or a commemorative Thompson sub-machine gun. "For all your valentines day needs" It goes great because then you can pretend what you're drinking is bootlegged booze and pretend you're a gangster. Or even better! A big teddy bear thats says "I wuv oo Bugs Moran to death!"

Yeah I think I'll stop with the horrific and poor taste jokes about valentines day meets death. Though what else is there to think about on today besides love? Today is love and death all rolled into one. Sometimes both put together in the case of Titanic. So yeah, it totally fits right?

Also, by the way for those who don't know, I'm making a facebook album entitled "My 1000 Sunsets" which is exactly what it sounds like. A compilation of 1000 sunsets which will take years to make but I want to make it anyway. Of course I can only upload one photo per sunset otherwise it won't be 1000 different and unique sunsets then. Well sometimes it's pretty hard to choose my favourite photo out of them all but I manage. But tonights sunset was just so incredibly beautiful that I had dificulty choosing so I've decided to post the extra ones that didn't get chosen here. Enjoy the sunset of Valentines Day 2010!













And for those who don't have facebook I will show you the one I chose out of all of them. Then I will also show you the original because I have a slight confession. These photos are slightly edited digitally. Well sorry but my camera is quite cheap and old OK? It's not even mine it's my mothers and she thought "It takes photos, thus it is sufficient". Well yes, to compensate for the fact that my camera doesn't really show off colour too well I occasionally change the contrast (only a bit, too much and the photo looks fake) to make things more defined. So here's the original:



And the slightly altered version:



As you can see I've decreased the brightness slightly and increased the constrast slightly more. It makes sunsets that previously didn't look as good on camera as they did in real life, look just as awesome as they did in real life! Or maybe even better? That's my tip to you sneaky photographers who thought something was really cool but then just didn't quite turn out as you had imagined... No photoshop required.

The French Government Does my Laundry

Yeah OK if you don't get that then you need to see the movie "Sicko" by Michael Moore (It is awesome) and pretty much all I have learnt from it is that being American kills you from the inside. Yes, that's right, you die from just being an American! :P OK the French drink at young ages, smoke, eat fatty food (and according to a friend of mine who went to France for a month some of them also do drugs...) and yet they still live longer than Americans on average and we all know that smoking will kill you slowly and painfully. What I found really amusing about the movie is how it portrays the health system of other countries as purely wonderful compared to America especially France and Britain. OK if you haven't seen it he basically goes into a British hospital and asks people about their bills and how much they spent on their ailments and they just look at him and laugh! Yes, they laugh at you for asking them about spending money in a hospital. He goes around trying to find a medical bill and people just laugh and then he finds a cashiers office and he's like "aha! people do pay money!" well that's all nice and WRONG! WRONG Michael Moore! Because the man behind the counter then explained that he gave people money! Yes that's right... British hospitals give out money to people for their travel expenses... Pretty neat huh? Yeah British totally is awesome! Rock on Britain!

France is better though (cue hatemail from the dirty English pig-dog scum :P nah I love England but when I explain what happens next in the movie you'll agree with me that France is also awesome) because Michael sat down with a bunch of Americans living in France and asked them about sick leave holidays and they get 5 weeks minimum in France. Imagine that... your boss simply doesn't let you work for 5 weeks and pays you anyway! Lol you show your face in your work building and they will beat you up... then pay for your medical bills :P (nah they won't beat you up but it'd be nice to think that your boss cares enough to do that to you if you try to shorten your holiday) Then he went to some family to see how the taxes involved in making the free health care work were effecting them and they had someone employed by the government folding their laundry and cooking them meals and helping with the baby! That's right... the French government will do your laundry! (Under certain circumstances that is... I forgot why I think something to do with maternity leave... yeah that's probably it... People don't just do your work for you people so don't just go to France and expect them to do everything for you that's just stupid. Plus you Americans abolished slavery remember? Guess who's regretting it now? :P) Oh what else did the french do... oh yeah! Some doctor lived in a 1 million dollar three story house (kinda like me!... only his looked better :( and had fish...) and their list of expenses went Mortgage, holidays, food, fish... yeah when asked about what else they needed to pay for they go "um... fish?" and so then I just made jokes about how they were very unhappy because they were all a bunch of French extensionalists and life was pointless and meaningless to them... and the man attempted suicide yesterday because the fish cost too much (he decided this because the way the smoke from his fancy cigarette billowed over his expensive wine and distorted the image of the 2 by 2 metre exotic fish tank made the fish resemble a symbol for the fleeting hedonism and emptyness of his existence..... as fish normally do....)

The moral of the story is don't buy fish if you're French...

But yeah strange jokes aside, (Wine matures with age, maybe one day you will too? :P *hits drums* "Hey! Get away from my drums!" "Crud! Run!") the French and British health system is incredibly good compared to the American (as shown by this completely unbiased documentary... yes I do realise how the media manipulates things ect and was watching it with that in mind but it just looks good... and I was trying to look at ways you can manipulate things and some bits looked slightly over dramatised but it looks all right really I am becoming a fan of Michael Moore he really does seem to have an idea of what he's doing) and speaking of the American health system: it doesn't like poor people. But how does it like heroes? Good old Mike (His full name was getting tedious to write out... seriously though if you were famous and everyone you met called you by your full name you'd get annoyed right? So Michael Moore is now Mike and George Bush is now GDawg) he went and found out this. He got these people who helped out during 9/11 (I feel sad now mentioning this but don't worry things will get better. Beat those terrorists!) and didn't get anything for it and have massive health problems because of it (helping dismembered/dead people out of a collapsed burning building may cause post traumatic stress disorder... or problems with your lungs) and they can't get compensation for being at ground zero...

.. terrorists on the other hand get the best care they possibly can at Guantanamo Bay! :D (That is when they're not being brutally tortured? Yeah let's not discuss that... because quite frankly I have no idea what they do there... and I is scared of the governments... nah jj :P) Yes they have a doctor to prisoner ratio of 1:4 and so you know the guys who saved people from probably the most horrific terrorist attack on American soil get nothing and if Osama Bin Laden has a tooth ache he gets the best treatment he can. Well Michael Moore and I apparently have similar minds because he did something pretty darn funny which I would've loved to do! He gathers up these people in need of medical attention and literally takes them to Guantanamo Bay! :D He's in his little boat (has 3 of them because there's so many people) and picks up a megaphone and says to the guard tower "These are the heroes of 9/11 and we just want some medical attention... we just want the same treatment as the evil doers!" which was absolutely hilarious to me really he's just gone down to Cuba to ask a fellow American to let someone have a dentist look at their teeth...

... and a siren goes off :P

LOL! XD American doesn't like Americans but they like Asubaradabadman Afusu Guhaba666man (the most vile and hated Terrorist of all time! Look his name up on wikipedia... that name again is Asubradmandoufgfghrh24 Afulol69

So failing having Americans give Americans proper medical treatment that was affordable they went EVIL COMMUNIST CUBA! (Because Mike is PURE EVIL! He worships Fidel Castro... or should I say... INfidel Castro?... no... no I shouldn't... I don't actually dislike the guy in anyway... mainly because I don't know why I should I've never really researched to find out if he is actually a bad guy so if I ever met him I'd kindly shake his hand... unless it started glowing... WITH EVIL!) And in EVIL COMMUNIST CUBA they went to an EVIL COMMUNIST HOSPITAL and saw some EVIL COMMUNIST DOCTORS and got EVIL AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE! (They found the medication someone needed that would've cost them $200 in the states for 5 cents an inhaler... an EVIL COMMUNIST INHALER!) So yeah, walk into an EVIL COMMUNIST hospital in Cuba and they'll ask you your name and age then treat you...

... but they're still evil... oh yes definitely... *cough* I mean... why would the American government have lied to you abut how PURELY EVIL Cuba is?... and then take part of it BE American soil? Cuba is PURE EVIL!... Let's make it part of us! (Us being you not me I'm not American... nor do I want to be because as I discovered earlier than being American kills you! You just generally suck when it comes to health care... or living...) so yeah I've learn from this documentary the PURE EVIL of the EVIL COMMUNIST hospitality and kindness! (Curse you kindness! Don't make me blow the hell out of your country!) and that America just sucks...

No offence... but you do... Oh yeah plus there was something in there about Canada (Woo! Canada!) but I can't be bothered talking about it... Go watch the movie! Canada rules!

Woo!