Thursday, July 2, 2009


Well, in the post before last I mentioned that I had gotten a job at the place that my sister was having her 21st. This was true. OK! Origin story time! (Super awesome special explaining blog GO!) Let me tell you about my FIRST DAY AT WORK!

Well the story starts with my mother making plans for my sisters 21st. She then discovers that the owner of the establishment (Tony) is looking for workers. So my brother and I decide to go trailing off over the dunes and past the park to said establishment to barge into the door and say "Hey.... uhhh..... do you want workers?" to which he replied "Yes." There was some more talking about how beneficial being employed is on his end. He basically just seemed to be trying to sell the job to us instead of us trying to convince him we would be the best candidates. Well, my brother started in a week, I had to come back after my exams before he'd give me a day of the week to work. After 5 hours at the resturaunt my brother quits... well he's just whingy and doesn't like doing anything even at home, not really any reflection on the establishment surely...

Anyhoo he had three things for me to do: Shave, tie back my hair, and show up being enthusiastic and energetic.

Well after walking around Curtin University all day with nothing to eat since that apple in the morning that I had to eat on the way to school in the hopes of arriving an hour earlier than normal to catch the school bus to said Uni... and having to sit through 5 lectures (which are surprisingly tiring...) I wasn't the most energetic of people.

Well it was a Thursday afternoon when I started working... I realised that I suck at trying to tie aprons up behind my back and began to learn what to do and how from the two foreign owners. One is from some country beginning with S... the other from Malaysia or Thailand. Neither of them speak English as a first language and it shows... which makes me wonder if they talk to each other in English or do they both know three languages? I may never know.... and have stopped caring.

I spent the next 4 hours washing dishes, preparing little salad things and feeling that if I had any questions I should definitely ask the foreign asian lady (Tony's wife) instead of Tony because she wasn't angry and intimidating... she was impossible to understand besides a few words and a hand signal but she was friendly. Friendly people are my friends. Halfway through I realise why my brother quit. It just wasn't fun and it wasn't the job for me or him.

Well it was a great thing that Tony agreed with those thoughts!

Oh yeah... did I mention? I got freaking fired after 4 hours! You think that's sad, I was originally meant to be there for 5 hours instead. Yeah... there weren't many people so he decided my help wasn't needed nor helpful at all and decided that I could go home early... and not come back... ever... unless I wanted to pay him. (Tough chance! I got your money and I'm not giving it back! Instead, I went out and bought a 14 year old video game called Starcraft!! And it's so awesome I never want to leave the computer... but I must.) Yeah, I got fired... bringing the total amount of time I have been employed in my (710 year) life to a whole 9 hours! The sad thing is he gave me money in notes and said that he had paid me $2 extra... yeah... 4 hours of work and then $2 pity money...

This is (roughly) what he said: You are intelligent, but you are no good. I am a 60 year old man and I can work faster than you, you know? It is no point in me employing you if I can do the same job a lot faster. Watching you is like watching a snail, you make me tired when I watch you. Look at Stacey (random I was working "with") she moves around very fast which is good. You lack initiative. My skills and your skills combined are no good, they do not work out. You should apply for Hungry Jacks or McDonalds instead....

....well guess what? I have applied for BOTH those places and even THEY didn't want me working there! Can I get any more epic failure!? I applied to Hungry Jacks once when my friend TTTSNB told me that they were desperate for workers and would pretty much hire anyone! And I lit up and thought "Oh! That's me!" and rushed off to go fill in an application and think to myself "I can get a job no problem!"... a week later he informs me that they found just those anyone's they were looking for... three asian girls who didn't speak English very well....

I was beaten by people who don't speak English! How does that work!? They kept getting orders wrong! But... but... I have certificates and medals in being smart!

Well it wasn't as bad as the McDonald's interview that went something along the lines of "uuhhh.... ummm.... I... don't know...." (that was me saying that, not the interviewer. It's not like I asked them the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow)

So yeah... I'm currently still unemployed... and still have that $38 in my bank account I've never bothered to try and access... yay...

1 comment:

sam-ham said...

aww :( well yes if they didn't hire asians who couldnt speak english, then my friends would not be able to order 3 pickles, and then be given 3 pickles in a burger box, for free! Seriously, would you react the same way? or would you tell them no thats stupid and then be fired for upsetting customers?! :P

I'm sure you'll find a job eventually. I got rejected from the first one I applied for... but I did get the second one... hmm.