Friday, July 31, 2009

JB Hi-Fi Application

I seriously need a job. Do you think JB Hi-Fi will employ me if I apply like this?

Edited for purposes of replicated on the internetz. Try again stalkers!

Personal Details:
Title: Mr
First Name: Bob
Last Name: Dylan
Date of Birth: 21/03/1299 (unfortunately need to put down 1992 because JB Hi-Fi only employed people who were born in 1940 or "19 41" or later. What's later than "19 41"? Everything?)
Home Address: (It's a house, on a hill)
State: WA

Do you have a current drivers licence? No.
Do you use or have you been known by any other name or alias? Um...... not legally.
Have you ever been convicted or found guilty of a criminal offence? Not yet!
Please list hobbies and interests: Getting blind drunk, rebelling against authority, practical jokes, recreating horror films, saving kittens from trees with my super powers.


Highest level of study you have attained: Year 11
Please indicate your current study load: Pft! Ha! Study? You have to be kidding me...
Please list any relevant licences or certificates that you hold: I am currently holding a bronze swimming certificate. It isn't mine though... but I am holding onto it.

Work Preferences:

Why do you wish to work for JB Hi-Fi?: BECAUSE YOU ROCK! WOOO! YEAH! I need money... please pity me... I love you?
Are you willing to undertake a broad range of tasks as required?: Not likely...
Are you willing to work at various stores as required?: Are you willing to suck my-
Are you willing to transfer interstate: No.
What type of employment would you prefer?: Casual.
Please indicate your working availability: The way you asked that made me so libidmous... mmmm....

Work Experience:

OK I think I'll skip most of this section I don't think it applies to me...

In accordance with OH&S guidelines do you have any disability or medical condition that would affect your ability to undertake the requirements of the job you are applying for?: Well I'm not going to tell you now that you mention you're asking because of how it will affect how I do the job! Geez, try to get to know something personal that isn't relevant for once. My favourite colour is green by the way.
If you have had any previous employment, please complete detai- NO! No I um... "haven't" had any previous employment you need to know about...

Uhhhhhh.... my hot female media teacher!

Mailing List:
Would you like to recieve information including new and special offers from JB Hi-Fi?: Only if you honestly think I gave you my real address!

I hereby declare that the above details are true and I am aware that any false or misleading statements made in the Employment Application could result in instant dismissal, withouot notice, should I be employed. If employed, I agree to abide by the rules, regulations, and policies of the company.

I wonder if they'll call me for an interview... I kinda did apply twice...

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