OK children, gather round while I tell you a story! A story most... not very interesting... so I'll spice it up a little with great exaggerations, twisted retellings and even some downright massive lies thrown in for dramatic effect! (Just like politicians and used car salesmen) OK, today I was hard at work with my 3 ton load of paperwork and assignments for school when all of a sudden I recieved a phone call from the head of the terrorist group holding me hostage (and forcing me to blog as mention in previous post just below this one... scroll down if you want to read it I'm not giving you a link...) telling me that they're bored and want me to walk their dog (Yes, Terrorists want to hang out with me... Osama just last weekend asked me to play basketball... I refused on the grounds that I didn't live in the middle east and that I knew that his basketballs were really just big orange bombs in disguise... as brightly coloured balls that are easily seen from a distance) so basically I had to go because I promised and if I don't they'll just hit me and then get the small girls to cry again... Which they did! grr! I can't Blog while I'm walking your dog you know so there's no point in yelling me as I walk down the street trying not to walk off the path! Yes, terrorists (as in one... not as plural although I do like putting an S on the end of words... just to confuse people :P) have made their demands and those demands are to BLOG! (I think I may have mentioned this before) and to Blog while outside and with no computer... Unfortunately my physic abilities have no developed to this point where I can do what they demand of me...
... On the bright side I was warned the dog would bark like mad but instead just seemed to sniff my pockets and then ignore me... Damn dog won't acknowledge my existence! Acknowledge! Anyhoo, I then was led to the terrorist's lair... (where she lives... as in house... strange how it's not a cave but I guess swimming pools don't suit caves very well...) where I was then forced to look at the terrorists collection of books... (Evil satanic books on dark magic and evil magical places of learning called Hogwarts) I was then taken outside where I was attacked by the dog (I was near licked on the cheek by the viscious silent hound! Agh! It stood on my lap!) then attacked by feet... the feet then captured my feet and demanded a ransom of a thousand dollars... until I moved my feet away and gave Becca L. Blogmore an odd look... Then I met the evil overlords of the house... who smiled and said hello :P Then walked off... Oh yeah plus they own a car... one with wheels... Then a sneak attack was unleashed as I was backed into a sharp kitchen bench (A kitchen bench most definitely used to cut up the meat flesh of a thousand blogless orphans... that's what you get for not being computer literate! BBQ sauce!) then led to the couch where I was nearly smothered to death by a cushion (THAT WASN'T PURPLE! It's the purple room "because everything in the room is purple"... just like that orange curtain or those 3 white walls or that brown table or this browny green couch next to the reddish couch...) Obviously the terrorists want me to blog or die... I for one choose: Running away...
Why am I saying this? Well because quite simply I'm informing everyone about my current situation with the terrorist organisation forcing me to blog (if anyone hasn't got that this is a joke by now is really flipping stupid!) and quite simply... I have nothing to blog about! So I'm hoping this will temporarily appease the purely evil terrorist (and despicable mastermind) so they will let me get back to my homework! Come on! Please stop yelling at me to blog! I'm doing the best I can! (Breaks down and cries)
(citate! Citate! Citate! Oh citate! Cita- oh citate! CITATE! YEAH CITATE! ...Told you it would sound dirty...)
Oh yeah... plus I ate a plant... yeah we were wondering if it was edible and I ate it to find out... turns out I didn't die (or did I?) and due to that little trip the terrorist lair I am kinda behind schedule slightly with my massive amount of pre-exam homework... oh well... at least I got some exercise walking the dog (which then tried attacking me with its tongue as payment)
MY FRIEND MAKES WEIRD NOISES WHEN TALKING TO HER DOG! SHE ASKS IT FOR "KISSIES"! (Who wants me to continue to blog now!?)
No comments:
Post a Comment