Blogging by a Pool with a Dog by my Feet

It seems that for a while now I haven't updated you on things that I actually do but rather my very important thoughts on different things like youtuber relationships or... actually, what have I been blogging about... OK so a quick check discovers that the previous statement is false but I've started typing this post anyway so let's continue.

I am by a pool. It has leaves on the bottom, has not been cleaned in a while, and it is too cold to even bother thinking about swimming but it is a nice day to be outside, under shade where the wind (and occasional sprinkle of rain) cannot get me. There is a dog sitting on my legs. Her name is Scamp and she has a hairbrush that she has mangled quite completely with her teeth and yet still thinks the job is not yet done. I don't know where it came from or why she has it but oh well.

It's not my dog and it's not my pool.

As the responsible adult (who can't even cook something without screwing up) I have been entrusted to look after a house. A whole house. For 6 weeks! It also comes with a FREE dog and a list of instructions on how to not accidentally let that dog die. It's very important I have instructions.

Scamp loves me though. She really does. It's great because some dogs seem to genuinely wish I was dead for no reason that I can fathom. They take one look at me and think "I hate this dude more than I've ever hate anything before." It might be the ginger hair. Dogs can tell when you don't have a soul. Seriously though I was going for a walk once, I turn a corner, and this dog goes crazy as soon as it sees me. It barks, growls, bares teeth, and generally has that "Come a bit closer so I can give you rabies!" look in its eyes.

My family was right next to me. It wasn't the presence of strangers that spooked it because the rest of my family it was fine towards. Just me it hated. Just me.

My friend has a dog. He's evil. (The dog that is, not my friend, though further studies need to be done to see if my friend really is neutral good or just pretending not to be evil so he can better take over the world at a later date.) The moment he saw me he decided "I hate this guy. I hate him and want him to know I hate him."

"He's such a lovely dog..." his owners tell me "...when you're not around."

Yeah. Out of all the people in the world he knows he has decided that me specifically is going to be hated. Some dogs seem to look at me and innately think "screw you buddy."

So it's nice to be able to open the door and have a dog run up to me excitedly and go "YAY! HUMAN IS HOME! ME LOVE HUMAN SO MUCH!" Though the fact that she always wants attention is a bit tiresome. I can't always rub your belly, Scamp. I need hands to feed you or do other things like type out blog posts about how adorable you are.

It's nice and relaxing having a house to yourself. I'm just chilling by myself, watching Scamp consider touching the pool and deciding not to. When there isn't the responsibility of having to do chores weighing down on me (the dog is well fed, the pool is operating normally, etc) it is nice and simple. My legs are up, I'm leaning back, and I'm watching flowers sway gently in the wind. The only company is my endlessly unconditionally loving companion, Scamp. Ah, so peaceful.

Plus there's an Xbox 360 and a bunch of games to play in the games room just to my right so that's going to be fun. HALO TIME!

Albany

Albany is full of Albanians!

...... *cricket chirps*...

No? No one find that funny? OK moving on then.

Recently I found myself in Albany. Amazing, I know. I find myself many places... I start wondering what I'm doing when I'm not looking. No but seriously though, I went on holiday to Albany (to see the sights, and meet a few Albanian women... well I achieved ONE of those) and on the way there were many baby sheep! (Yes, I know they're called lambs but I just think that 'baby sheep' sounds cuter!) That or they were midgets in disguise wanting some free milk... There were also baby cows.

There was much nature around Albany. It is somewhat country like after all. Mum compared it to Hobart. It is kinda like Hobart in a sense... in the sense that it's cold, rains and is part of Australia. If you had to really compare it you could say that Albany is a flatter and smaller version of Hobart with different flora and fauna. But really, that's what defines Hobart! The fact that it's NOTHING BUT HILLS! And a few houses that live on stilts.

When in Albany I saw many things... like the historic old cottage (Mouchemores) the historic prison thing (and the historic light switches within it, along with the historic SCARY AS HELL MANNEQUINS!) and the historic whaling station (which to my dismay was decommissioned due it being economically unfeasable to continue due to oil prices instead of the owners environmental concerns.... I also got to see whale bones! HELL YEAH!). I didn't run into anyone I knew in Albany... probably because the only person I know of that lives there is Michele Philips and we're not really friends so much as kind-of-blogging-acquaintances. (I wonder what ever happened to her...)

And that brings me to another thing I saw on my adventures. DOG ROCK!

Yes, it truly does look like a dog! Though only from one side. To get to this dog rock you need to park across the busy main road and walk over to it (or... park somewhere else... I don't know) and stand there next to this poorly tended to empty space. It really didn't look like a tourist attraction so much as it looked like a large rock in the middle of an abandoned lot. Poor Dog Rock... though a young boy and his father were also there to look at it and take a photo. Then we went off somewhere else...

Speaking of dogs, they don't seem to like dogs that much. Everywhere we went had signs saying "NO DOGS!" and such, but then again we did go a bit out of town most of the town to the natural things like national parks and nature walks ect so it's understandable that they don't want dogs to ever leave the city limits... dogs are not natures friends.

Another interesting thing to see in Albany was the silent protest. What kind of silent protest? Well it's a very interesting one I have never seen or heard of before... it involved tying socks to a fence. There's a place near the beach where there's a large empty space with a fence around it that is covered with socks. Turns out the protest had to do with something not being built in the empty area that the socks surround. I'm not sure how that is meant to cause pressure on whoever is thinking about building something "...hmm... there are a lot of disused socks on that fence... huh..." but it was very interesting! I took a few photos and you'll be sure to see them on my DeviantArt on Friday when I update (but not here, as my internet is currently very slow so can't upload anything... though if I could then this blog would be a lot longer and picture filled).

But yes! Albany was lots of fun. Though it did involve a lot of playing Pokemon between seeing nature and such. Didn't see any turtles though the sign near the holiday park said that they may cross the road in the area and so people should generally look out for them to avoid running them over... nor did I see any bandicoots or people on horses. But... why would the sign lie to me!? :O

Was worth the 6 hour car ride indeed. Though the mannequins in the old prison were freaky as hell. Seriously, it was land of the scary mannequins...

Looking forward to upcoming camping trip and then... BACK TO UNIVERSITY!

Goodnight y'all.

Exams have arrived

Exams are here once again to ruin my life only this time they mean it. To makes things worse I've got the flu. Not the swine or bird or even horse or dog kind (or anything interesting like that at all) just the normal human kind. Generic I know... there's been 14 confirmed cases of Swine Flu in Australia as of tonights news report and they're all in the East. They think they should close some schools down to prevent anyone else from getting it. There's also some severe flooding going on at the Gold Coast and streets have become underwater.

Once again NOTHING INTERESTING EVER HAPPENS IN PERTH! You know it hailed once! It did! Well, actually, twice! It was actually very interesting seeing little balls of ice on the ground :) That's the highlight of being in Perth. It hailed twice as far as I can remember in the past 17 years. You know hail actually is more likely to form during the summer for mid-latitude areas. That's strange.

Anyhoo... I think it's only fair that people get at least two blogs out of me a month (Everyone needs at least two of something from me every month... I've decided you get blog entries because other things are um... taken. Now WHAT did THAT imply I wonder? You may never know!) So I'm going to be talking to you today about all sorts of strange things. What they are I don't even know yet seeing how I'm kinda sick and so I'm making this up as I go... maybe I should talk about exams?

Exams. I'm being examined as to how well I can complete an examination of my skills and knowledge of a variety of subjects. I haven't studied for any of them. I won't do well.

Hey wow that wasn't funny at all! (Unless you love to laugh at my pain. Admit it, you do don't you? You're just reading this and sitting here going "bahahaha you are going to FAIL! Bahahahaha I find pain amusing.") Well I'll just say what everyone's got on their mind right now (even if they don't know it) and say: Metaphysical poetry sucks. There! I said it! It's out in the open and so you can't deny it... we all know it's true. You hate studying it just as much as I do! That's why you (whoever you are) have probably never ever read any! :P

Another thing about exams is that they'll prevent me from seeing my dearest girlfriend on our one year anniversary of being together and such. This is the biggest tragedy for me out of being sick, failing all my exams, and swine flu slowly encroaching on the world ready to kill us all...

I've got a phone now! Anyone wondering what the number is I shall tell you if you ask :) Anyone I haven't told already I may have forgotten about, haven't gotten round to it, or got sidetracked and forgot why I was talking and so talked about muffins... (yeah THAT'S the reason behind the muffins!) OK! Seeing how I don't have much to say I guess I'll tell you all the muffin story (and EVENTUALLY the person this involves will read this and go "haha I remember that! My parents were hell like "wtf?" and wondered who was calling their daughter with such strange messages" because I assume her parents would have been there...) OK! Well you see I decided to call someone up on the telephone (because the two cans connected by a piece of string had been broken by swine flu and terrorism...) and I was quite uncomfortable because I don't like using the phone and there's always the chance that the person I wanted to call wasn't there. They weren't. I was stuck with an answering machine which I don't really like because it's like "oh great now I'm on the spot to record something... Can't have a conversation with an answering machine, can't just say hello, and I don't expect this person to call me back considering it's long distance and I'm not even sure they know my number..." so I'm forced to record something improvised that would be worthwhile listening to. Well "hey ever seen the sun set over the ocean?" isn't very interesting (but actually part of what I wanted to say.) so I instantly forget everything I COULD have said (like "oh hey! I have a PHONE now!") and then somehow remember how I'd left a message on someones phone a few months ago and the word "muffin" sprang to mind. Oh wait! No I remember now. It was their birthday and they were eating a muffin when I called... I think. Pretty sure that was it. OK well with that in mind I said this: "Hey I haven't really got anything to say so I'm going to talk about muffins" (What the hell is there to say about muffins!?) "Hey ever noticed how muffins are kinda like fat nuclear explosions? You know how they're like a mushroom cloud onto the bottom of them is really wide you know?" (of course, it's just the logical thing to continue with) "Yeah so that was your strange answering machine message for today. Bye." Then afterwards I was like "...oh wait no I wanted to call about my phone..." and then thought maybe I'd call back again... then I decided I'd do it tomorrow... now, a few days onwards, I'm blogging about it and still haven't done anything about it.

Hopefully I'll end up calling that person back before they end up reading this blog...

Well that was all from me for now! I've got exams so you won't here from me for 2 weeks but then you're probably going to get yet another blog entry as to what weird answers I wrote down on my exam papers :) Goodbye and try not to get swine flu! Remember, it's already HERE and it's ready to GET YOU! (and ONLY you....)

Into the Terrorist Lair

OK children, gather round while I tell you a story! A story most... not very interesting... so I'll spice it up a little with great exaggerations, twisted retellings and even some downright massive lies thrown in for dramatic effect! (Just like politicians and used car salesmen) OK, today I was hard at work with my 3 ton load of paperwork and assignments for school when all of a sudden I recieved a phone call from the head of the terrorist group holding me hostage (and forcing me to blog as mention in previous post just below this one... scroll down if you want to read it I'm not giving you a link...) telling me that they're bored and want me to walk their dog (Yes, Terrorists want to hang out with me... Osama just last weekend asked me to play basketball... I refused on the grounds that I didn't live in the middle east and that I knew that his basketballs were really just big orange bombs in disguise... as brightly coloured balls that are easily seen from a distance) so basically I had to go because I promised and if I don't they'll just hit me and then get the small girls to cry again... Which they did! grr! I can't Blog while I'm walking your dog you know so there's no point in yelling me as I walk down the street trying not to walk off the path! Yes, terrorists (as in one... not as plural although I do like putting an S on the end of words... just to confuse people :P) have made their demands and those demands are to BLOG! (I think I may have mentioned this before) and to Blog while outside and with no computer... Unfortunately my physic abilities have no developed to this point where I can do what they demand of me...

... On the bright side I was warned the dog would bark like mad but instead just seemed to sniff my pockets and then ignore me... Damn dog won't acknowledge my existence! Acknowledge! Anyhoo, I then was led to the terrorist's lair... (where she lives... as in house... strange how it's not a cave but I guess swimming pools don't suit caves very well...) where I was then forced to look at the terrorists collection of books... (Evil satanic books on dark magic and evil magical places of learning called Hogwarts) I was then taken outside where I was attacked by the dog (I was near licked on the cheek by the viscious silent hound! Agh! It stood on my lap!) then attacked by feet... the feet then captured my feet and demanded a ransom of a thousand dollars... until I moved my feet away and gave Becca L. Blogmore an odd look... Then I met the evil overlords of the house... who smiled and said hello :P Then walked off... Oh yeah plus they own a car... one with wheels... Then a sneak attack was unleashed as I was backed into a sharp kitchen bench (A kitchen bench most definitely used to cut up the meat flesh of a thousand blogless orphans... that's what you get for not being computer literate! BBQ sauce!) then led to the couch where I was nearly smothered to death by a cushion (THAT WASN'T PURPLE! It's the purple room "because everything in the room is purple"... just like that orange curtain or those 3 white walls or that brown table or this browny green couch next to the reddish couch...) Obviously the terrorists want me to blog or die... I for one choose: Running away...

Why am I saying this? Well because quite simply I'm informing everyone about my current situation with the terrorist organisation forcing me to blog (if anyone hasn't got that this is a joke by now is really flipping stupid!) and quite simply... I have nothing to blog about! So I'm hoping this will temporarily appease the purely evil terrorist (and despicable mastermind) so they will let me get back to my homework! Come on! Please stop yelling at me to blog! I'm doing the best I can! (Breaks down and cries)

(citate! Citate! Citate! Oh citate! Cita- oh citate! CITATE! YEAH CITATE! ...Told you it would sound dirty...)

Oh yeah... plus I ate a plant... yeah we were wondering if it was edible and I ate it to find out... turns out I didn't die (or did I?) and due to that little trip the terrorist lair I am kinda behind schedule slightly with my massive amount of pre-exam homework... oh well... at least I got some exercise walking the dog (which then tried attacking me with its tongue as payment)

MY FRIEND MAKES WEIRD NOISES WHEN TALKING TO HER DOG! SHE ASKS IT FOR "KISSIES"! (Who wants me to continue to blog now!?)