You Need to Stop Caring About Celebrity/Youtuber Relationships

You need to stop. Just stop. Here's why:

Every now and then a relationship occurs between two popular personalities. These could be two celebrities like Brad and Angelina (if we're going for super famous) or Jenny Bingham and Tom Ridgewell (if we're going for not so famous but still reasonably known for the Youtube example) and then people go "awwwww, that's great! I like this combination of people who I am fond of as individuals!" Yay. Good. Glad we are accepting of people getting together instead of bitterly sitting in the corner weeping "why won't Brad Pitt pick me even though he's never heard of me? If only he had twitter so I could profess my love to him in 140 characters or less!" (I'm so glad I'm over that phase of my life... *shivers*)

The issue arises when they break up and people decide they don't like that. Thankfully our great celebrity ship Brangelina remains canon and we can all rest safe and sound knowing that she will stick with him regardless of whatever weird facial hair he grows... But Tom and Jenny aren't together anymore and suddenly people seem to think that their input and opinions are relevant to this situation.

"But you were such a great couple. I wish you could get back together. Why did you break up? This is clearly [one of the people]'s fault. I'm so sad that you two broke up." Etc etc etc.

Stop. 2 months on and people still comment these sorts of things and discuss it under videos unrelated to their relationship.

Here's the thing: these relationships are experienced by you through filtered down snippets that are mediated by the individuals in that relationship and then expressed in tiny amounts through whatever medium that they choose, whether that's magazines or instagram and a 5 minute "boyfriend does my makeup" tag video. Do you honestly think you have a detailed and accurate representation of the complexities of that relationship? To you, the random observer who has no personal connection to these strangers on the internet, all you see is this idyllic 2 dimensional relationship where there's never any fighting or issues whatsoever because why would you publicly air a fight you just had on the internet? We forget that just because there is an element of the relationship being known to the public it doesn't mean that it is a public relationship. We see the good parts and only the good parts because those are the only things you'd share with a bunch of strangers.

What I'm trying to say is you are mourning a delusion. You are missing a fantasy you constructed in your head because you lacked enough information to accurately understand their relationship. When you say "I wish they got back together" what you're saying is "I miss the simplistic idea of you two together". It disregards that these people have lives that they live outside of your personal scrutiny and those lives are complicated. Their relationships don't end because it's some dramatic plot point in a fictional narrative that has reached the season finale. This isn't the cliffhanger and they're not getting back together next summer when regular episodes on 9:30pm on Thursday return. They had reasons, their relationship had issues, and they made personal decisions to deal with those issues by breaking up.

They owe you nothing but you owe them the decency to respect their decisions and leave their private life to them. They didn't have to tell you to begin with so be glad you got to ship them for however long they let you and then respectfully shut up. How do you think it makes them feel to read a bunch of strangers incessantly talking about a past relationship? How awkward would that be if someone came up to you in the street and said 2 months after your break up "you two are so cute together. You're my OTP."?

So before you comment on the relationship of a celebrity or a well known youtube personality (or actually just anyone you don't know personally whether they have 300,000 subscribers or 3) stop... and just don't.

Just stop.

Why I'm Uncomfortable With the Idea of "Fans"

I'm not famous, but if I were it'd be weird, especially if it were for my Youtube work. See the idea of being a fan creates this sense of separation between the individual and their audience. You see it every now and then, the avid fan meets their celebrity idol and freaks out, complete fangirling ensues, and it is a messy awkward thing to watch. Sometimes it can get really messy. See, the problem of celebrity is the idolisation of an individual. We put them up on a pedestal and venerate them as greater beings. The idea of celebrity creates a whole new class divide that isn't dependent on wealth or behaviour, but simply being known.

Well celebrities aren't just famous for being famous (though this is actually a thing) and some are astonishingly talented individuals. We're right to adore them but that adoration can only go so far before it turns into idolisation and that is the problem. Idolisation creates an "us" and "them". This distinction is of course backed up by the natural asymmetry between the amount of us vs the very limited them. Their time is taken up being busy doing things we adore them for and so there's never this personal connection and it seems like it is impossible to have any personal connection with a celebrity because of that.

See, I have people who refer to themselves as "fans" of me. I know, they're quite limited, but they exist. They adore my work, they think I'm great, and I've had people get overly excited when I messaged them out of the blue. I've heard of people who want to talk to me because they think I'm cool but don't. It's weird... because, for me, I don't feel like I've really done anything. It's just a few dozen vlogs. But this also unsettles me because this creates this expectation that one day if I reach a level of popularity where I can actually make money off youtubing I am innately different to them. I will become increasingly unapproachable...

"Oh my gosh I can't believe he would message me. This is amazing!" No. I'm... just typing on a keyboard. I do it all the time. Here I am, being me, always me, constantly just existing and part of that entertains you so you find me appealing... Well, thank you. I'm still just a person. And that's what celebrities are too... It's bizarre being the very-very-very-small scale experiment into how "fame" alters the perception of strangers on an individual. As someone who is trying to start working in film it's going to start getting stranger as I put out work that I actually feel is something.

It's weird how magazines and paparazzi simultaneously enjoy building up and then knocking down celebs. Look! They're without make up! They aren't perfect, look at us creepily take images of their thighs while they're at the beach and call them fat so we can simultaneously lower them onto our level so we can feel good about ourselves, but also insult the very nature of being just like us by showing it in an unflattering light that celebrities are encouraged to avoid. They're not treated like people, and when they are it's this strange public sadism that seems like we're trying to enforce some kind of humility on them when we're the only ones who think they're not ordinary people. The mark is missed, the point is warped, the entire thing is strange and confusing. They're just people!

So that's why I am uncomfortable with the term "fan". Because if I have fans then it creates this sense that people are expected to idolise me... I become less approachable. This is a thing that actually happens with Youtubers. The internet has given rise to the micro-celebrity. Youtube becomes people's primary media intake instead of the TV and suddenly the celebrities of popculture are replaced by the internet giants of vlogging. Never has it stressed the fact that the aura of celebrity is an imposed idea, worth collectively given to other people. Ordinary people are suddenly raised up to be on par with Kardashian's in the minds of adoring teens all over the world and then we're given a new celebrity image: the kind of person we adore but every now and then denies their celebrityhood and goes "I have no idea how I got here..." because they really don't. They realise that their initiation into celebritydom was an accident and their medium isn't as glamorous as TV so it seems weird, it's unfitting, it's uncomfortable to be thought of as a "celebrity". It should be. Because then they're no longer ordinary people so you can't be friends with them. I think that's why Tumblr loves Jennifer Lawrence so much, because she isn't just talented (and gorgeous) but says such blatantly relatable things that willingly fight against the dehumanising idolisation of the media. We see one of us in her, when really she isn't the exception, she's just not living up to the expectations that celebrity imposes on a person. It shouldn't be a surprise that deep down they're really like us. She eats food and does goofy things on camera and gets star struck herself at those around her - even though she is part of the "them." Even celebrities elevate celebrities. Fame does not inherently uproot a person from being subject to this whole trap of "OMG THEY'RE FAMOUS!" and thus demonstrates just how strange of a system it is.

It's an illusion we create for ourselves because we want to be able to look up at someone. Their work is worth more if they are worth more to us. Celebrity as a label is meaningless without a personal attachment to that which makes someone a celebrity. Of course there's no way to do away with the term fan because this asymmetrical relationship between creators and consumers will forever remain, it is impossible to entirely break down the boundaries created by celebrity culture... but it doesn't mean you have to give in to the idea that being a fan creates a divide between you and your focus of adoration.

So I try not to get star struck. Whenever I run into celebrities I'm pretty chill. They're just really cool people in the end and so I talk to them like they were any one else. I looked up to someone once, then ended up adding them on Facebook and realised... it was like talking to a random 20-something. I've gone from "I really enjoy your work" to adding someone on Facebook before. They still remain cool, and worthy of attention, but they remain a person to me. The thing that stops you from being friends with a celebrity isn't the fact that they are celebrities, but the nature of the distance between you and the limited ways you interact with them. Unfortunately talking to someone behind a panel for a few minutes at a convention doesn't really help foster a friendship, but outside of that environment you never know... Treat them like people and you might have a really nice conversation with them.

And for crying out loud don't hyperventilate when you meet someone you admire because it is just super awkward for them...

My Dick Is a Commentary on Stereotypical Masculinity

A while ago I made a video entitled "My Dick":

You should watch it. You'll love watching my dick. When you look at My Dick it'll make you laugh.

Far from being just 3 minutes of non-stop dick jokes it is something deeper and more intelligent than that. It is a commentary on typical expressions of masculinity. The conventional method of affirming one's superior masculinity is to exaggerate and brag about the issue of size of the manhood. I took this concept and parodied it by taking the saying "it's not the size that matters, but what you do with it" and expanding upon the idea of things that you can do with it to the point of absurdism. With impossible statements like "my dick knows kung fu" and "my dick creates liquid nitrogen..." the idea of traditional forms of masculinity are shown as sub-par. The criticism is indirect, but effective. By positing the idea that the competitiveness between dicks to assert dominance is inherently absurd through a constructed example we can link this back to the basic form that it exaggerates and see that comparing dick sizes is stupid. Paradoxically we manage to affirm our masculinity through a mixture of immaturity and intellectual criticism of the very system that we are utilising to affirm our own masculinity. Through insincerity we escape the obvious insecurity that bragging about dick size tries to cover up. This comfortableness with our own masculinity and sexuality is further demonstrated by the fact that we have decided to sit in bed together to discuss our dicks, with no sense of discomfort or fears that the image of two men in bed together is seen as the exact opposite of masculine in contemporary society. It is a challenge to the heteronormative ideas of society by showing off something that is seen as masculine and heterosexual in juxtaposition to a homosexual setting. Ultimately the idea of phallocentricism is seen as a self-serving egotism that is shallow and empty as it requires competition with others through fictional statements.. As comparison with another male is unimportant as our dicks are not for service of the other it is the realisation that such a competition is pointless. In the end neither of us really wins.

This commentary on contemporary expressions of masculinity is perhaps my most underrated and intelligent dick joke I've ever made.

Also, John Green had a competition called "Nerdfactor" recently where to enter we had to send in our best videos as a video response and he'd watch them all then pick a winner to do a guest vlog in his absence. I sent in "How to Love Yourself"  It didn't win but I realise now I have passed up a golden opportunity to have submitted "My Dick" because then I could say with all honesty "John Green has seen My Dick" and the joke would've been almost worth erasing all possibility that I would even remotely have a chance of winning that competition. Oh well.

Congratulations to Dan Howell

Youtube has this section where it recommends youtube channels and shows you in small writing that they have about 457K subscribers as if this is incentive. My youtube recommendations have been pretty much stuck consistently on AmazingPhil, Tom Milson, Danisnotonfire, Albinwonderland and for some reason the IBA Bodyboarding World Tour. I refresh and it is the same. Youtube insists that I should subscribe to these people. Just do it. Do it. Hurry up. You don't like entertainment, huh, punk? Think your videos are more entertaining?

Dick.

Well persistence pays off because I decided to finally check out Danisnotonfire... once I noticed that the little numbers under his name had read 999K. Whoa. Nearly at 1 million? That's a massive achievement and not many people have reached this mark. It's so fancy that Youtube literally gives you a gold trophy for getting there. So obviously thanks to peer pressure and the prestige of watching someone reach such an impressive milestone I decided to watch his videos for the rest of the day deciding whether or not he was worth subscribing to.

The thing is I pretty much knew I wanted to subscribe only a few videos in... but he was slowly and steadily climbing to 1 million... So naturally the thought occurred to me "What if I could be the 1 millionth subscriber?" The pace was gradual enough to be predictable. I would constantly refresh to check on the progress in between watching videos. I'd be lying... waiting... with ninja precision that I would attempt to channel from the nearest avid ebay buyer who likes to snipe with 30 seconds left on the bid.

It was taking longer than expected. But then... then... 11pm came (+08:00 from GMT) and he was intensely close. I readied myself, 11:19pm came. I refreshed. 999,998! GO! GO! SUBSCRIBE! I pounced on the button knowing someone would subscribe in the time it took for my mouse to move those pixels across the screen.

REFRESH. WILL I SEE A VICTORY SCREEN?

1,000,027!!!

NOOOOO! So close!

I refreshed again and it had jumped to 1,000,052! In fact in the past 11 hours it has gone up by over 3000. It took him 6 hours to go up nearly 700 before!

It was then I realised the unfortunate truth that the prestige of being the 1 millionth subscriber (an honour that went so someone many months ago due to closed accounts and people unsubscribing) was not a goal solely for me but for many, possibly hundreds... at one point the subscriber count went down momentarily when it was getting close as if people were unsubscribing just so they could re-subscribe at the opportune moment. That's why it was barely going up and then just on the brink- BAM! SHOT UP!

The lucky #1 million is lost in a flurry of emails and intensely close time signatures. It is impossible to tell who the victor is and they themselves don't know either. Oh well.

It is time to remember that being a subscriber is not about a sense of personal achievement. It is to show that you care about the content that someone has spent the time making and wish to engage with this content. Danisnotonfire is a brilliantly funny and talented vlogger and I am glad that I am now a watcher and that's all that matters...

But damn I was so close...

I Don't Understand Youtube Copyright

Their guidelines aren't very helpful.

OK so it seems simple right? Don't use copyrighted material in your work. OK. Simple.

So a while ago I monetized my videos - not due to any misguided impression that I could make any money off them but because Youtube kept bugging me to do so because it... likes me? A robot wanted fresh ad space? Well I had a few videos up which I generally had avoided anything that wasn't %100 mine with a few exceptions which weren't so blatant as to set off sirens deep in the offices of Google's offices. COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!

In my video Eric Roberts Thinks I'm pretty I have an image of The Master from the Doctor Who movie and a still from The Dark Knight to show the audience who he is. That's apparently fine despite me not being from Fox or Warner Brothers. Fair use?

Another video called A Day in the life of an Aspiring Author had nyan cat playing in it as well as The NaNoWriMo Song by ALL CAPS which I appropriately credited in the description. The cool thing about DFTBA records is some artists allow you to use their stuff in your videos as long as the other elements of that video are your original work and you credit them with a link back to their website. I did that, but I don't think that means I'm allowed to use the work for commercial purposes so despite Youtube saying "yeah make money off this!" I was like "Whoa! No. I have to un-monetize this. Surely that's not allowed."

So Youtube seemed to be pretty lax when it came to enforcing what I perceived Copyright Law to be. This was all uploaded prior to me monetizing my videos so they all were monetized by default (after some amount of review) when I became a partner. All subsequent videos are reviewed upon upload.

Then I uploaded a video with my Furby in it and that was a big no. Can't do that. OK so I'm assuming that's because I don't own the Furby logo and the sounds it makes right? Well my wall is covered in copyrighted images of posters. My shirts have Comic Book characters on them with tiny TM symbols on them. I've used a sonic screwdriver in one of my videos and I didn't own that noise (I think, or was that my other channel?) How particular am I meant to be here about what gets displayed? Because when it comes to making films at Murdoch they won't allow ANY FORM OF LOGO OR TRADEMARK. We cannot show brand names on our clothes, when filming cars we need to frame out things like "TOYOTA" and if we get anything accidentally in there we either have to reshoot or go into After Effects to blur it out frame by frame.

Then I uploaded something with about 2 seconds of robot noises and that was also not allowed to be monetized. What kind of complicated program would they be using to figure out if that robot noise wasn't mine? It wasn't, but from where I had got it I got the impression it was OK to use. Once youtube said no you can't make money off this video I won't really argue with them. It's really not important seeing as I don't make a living off this (or... anything really).

OK so I'd gone from being able to use parts of songs to not being allowed to use short sections of robot noises. Next up was a short video where I used static noise which I believed was under the Creative Commons License attribution 3.0 (I'm starting to actually research copyright things now) which I was under the impression made me free:

• to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work
• to make derivative works
• to make commercial use of the work

Under the condition I credited the original author, which I had.

Now I might be able to go click on a button that proves that this means I can use it... or it might be because I quoted song lyrics in it "Shake it like a polaroid picture" repeatedly. It was just one line though, even if it was repeated. And I got away with part of a song with music earlier? And popular youtuber DailyGrace uses copyrighted music occasionally and doesn't credit it but she can still make money off videos like SEXY 911 PHONE CALLS. (I've seen it with and without pre-roll ads and I'm not sure if this varies from view to view or just means it is no longer monetized?) I see in the comments fights about this about copyright vs fair use and frankly I wouldn't trust a Youtube comment section as a reliable source of information even if the discussion was about how annoying Youtube comments sections are. It has taught me nothing.

The impression I get is that I clearly don't understand copyright. That or Youtube is a bit selective in what it does or doesn't allow based off how popular you are. Though it seems a bit petty to try and blame favouritism on this so I'm going to go with the very obvious and objectively true thing that: I just don't seem to get copyright. It is not as simple as I had previously believed it to be.

I don't really care that I'm not making a whole 21 cents on these videos that aren't allowed to be monetized (besides the Furby one, which would've made probably at least $8 by now probably. Wow, big bucks), but it kinda annoys me whenever I see that tiny ! symbol next to my video that goes "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Because there's a thing saying "Copyright strikes" and right now it's green but it kinda weighs on me this idea that all this tiny little stuff ups aren't making me look all that great... like I'm some sneaky little vlogger trying to fool Google into giving me money I don't deserve by trying to sneak little copyright things in. Mwahahaha. No. No I'm not trying to get away with making money off other people's things, I'm just not entirely clear on the differences between what I can or cannot use commercially and the fact that they don't give you a reason when they deny your monetization request doesn't help me figure it out.

Is it because they don't believe that static noise is really Creative Commons? Is Creative Commons different in US than it is in Australia? Or is there an issue with the quoting of lyrics? Is that fair use? Is it allowed under use for the purposes of critiquing or reviewing the original work? Each online institution seems to have a varying harshness to their restrictions... Should I bother to try and get my latest video monetized on principal of understanding copyright better despite it not actually making money? Hmmm.

Hmm. I wish they'd taught us more about this at Uni... I never thought I'd be so interested in properly researching Copyright law.

Awkward Perils of Making a Youtube Video

So I make vlogs (I never stop telling people this apparently) and I also still live at home with my family. That is normally fine because I can sit down and talk in my room with the door closed and no one can see or hear me being weird. Problem is I was making a vlog today where there's a cut away joke to me in the kitchen banging a jar of peanut butter against the kitchen counter while yelling at it then sobbing...

And my mother is aware that I HAVE a Youtube channel but she doesn't know much more than that and I don't want to explain it to her... all she knows is that this is my "job" only I don't get paid for it but I in theory am "earning" money...

Anyway, to avoid being carted away for being crazy I decided I needed to tell my family that I was going to start yelling and it was OK, it was just something I needed to do... just... don't ask questions...

Also please be quiet... I need quiet on "set"... while I bang the peanut butter.

Filming was interrupted when my brother walked into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich using the peanut butter. It was OK though as I didn't have a particular schedule to stick to. I had the rest of the day to get a shot of me hitting the kitchen table with peanut butter... This is Youtube after all, not a big Hollywood production (though now it is a life goal of mine to have a scene involving peanut butter in a high budget film just so I can recreate this one shot). He walked away muttering something about me being strange.

"THIS IS MY JOB!" I yell at him.

It was intensely awkward and I waited until my mother had gone into a different room so I could close the door on her to increase the chance that she might not hear me.

I did the shot and Wesley yelled at me to be quiet.

It was even more awkward than the time I was filming John Green's Face and had to keep running up and down the stairs right next to my mother for the sake of having more than one take... then the microphone didn't work and I had to do it all over again.

And soon I'll be filming a vlog where one of the jokes involves me yelling about how I'm on fire (while OUTSIDE). That's going to be interesting to film...

Don't mind me neighbours... I'm just... a guy walking around with a camera... yelling about his socks being on fire when they actually aren't. It'll be done in After Effects I swear.

I'm not crazy, I'm just doing this for youtube.

I want to be someone’s favourite youtuber.

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a million subscribers, or hundreds, or even tens of thousands. I just want to be so utterly entertained by me that I am their favourite youtuber. Making people laugh is what makes me feel accomplished as a person. Sure, I love it when I check youtube and find someone has commented telling me I’m funny, or cute, or adorable, etc but it is the best feeling when I see someone tell me their going to subscribe then search back through my older videos commenting as they go along. That’s the best kind of subscriber: the kind who sees an online body of work and isn’t content just to look at it every now and then but takes the time to consume it all and appreciate the effort put into every video. My old videos barely get noticed until someone who has seen my recent work decides to go through my uploads.

It makes me feel appreciated that I’m not just a hit and miss entertainer with one funny video that gets all the attention, but a myriad of work that brings back a person to keep watching.

That’s the kind of subscriber I try to be. When I started watching Vlogbrothers I made it a goal of mine to watch every single video of theirs. It took 3 months to work my way back through their near 5 year history of regularly updating but I did it. I did the same with Frezned (who is ridiculously funny). Right now I’m in the process of slowly making my way back through MorganPaigeLoves who is an amazing (and slightly underrated) American vlogger. She is funny, interesting, full of enthusiasm and her joy is infectious. She’s also pretty which isn’t really important to the viewing experience but is a bonus (don’t worry, you’re pretty too Hank, John, and Tom).

All these people have thousands of subscribers (Morgan having a humble 13,228 as of me writing this compared to Frezned's 73,073 and Vlogbrothers whopping 854,974) and I never expect to reach such huge levels of popularity. (Gosh no that'd be ridiculous that that many people would find me interesting let alone FIND my youtube channel to determine whether or not I am interesting) But if I can just get a few fans and keep them consistently entertained then I have done something important with my time.

So here’s to a new year of content creating and making people laugh!

For those wondering my youtube channel is Oneupdateatatime and can be found here.

The Quest to Change my Desktop Background...

So turns out Windows 7 Starter (which comes on my tiny little Eee ASUS PC) doesn't come with the ability to change the desktop. I found this out the 2nd day of my quest to change the desktop background....

It took a lot of searching through the settings, trying to discover what I could or could not do... searching through the control panel, googling how to do it (which led me to a youtube tutorial for a DIFFERENT model that had more options than mine), searching for system settings, and discovering that I could change the desktop background from generic to "nothing" by clicking the "remove desktop background image" button somewhere deep in the settings...

... WHY IS THERE A REMOVE DESKTOP BACKGROUND IMAGE FUNCTION IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT TO ANYTHING ELSE?

It consumed me. I needed to know. I was in class half paying attention because I kept trying to find a way. I NEEDED TO KNOW.

Then I discovered that you needed to download a whole program specifically designed just for changing desktop backgrounds... so I did. I found it, and after going through the different download links that led to pages with MORE download links, I found the right program and installed it...

Success! After 2 days of searching and Googling I can finally rest knowing that I have successfully changed my desktop background to THIS:

(For those wondering it is of Meekakitty from this video)
(For those wondering where I got the program I used the Personalisation Panel program found: here)

Welcome to Nerdfighteria

I recently finished watching all of the videos on the Vlogbrothers youtube channel. It took me from the beginning of February to the end of April, but I did it. Well over 900 videos of the remarkable John Green and amazing Hank Green. During this time I also managed to read all the books that John Green is the sole author of (and I am ordering Will Grayson, will grayson, co-authored by David Levithan right now). They are awesome and I highly recommend them (more on that later)

I am now what one would call a "nerdfighter". What is a nerdfighter? You might ask. Well, uninitiated one, nerdfighters aren't people who fight nerds but fight for nerds (like freedom fighters only with less guns and more Awesome. Nerdfighters don't have internal organs, they are made entirely of awesome.) "Why do you get to be made of only awesome? I want to be made of awesome too!" well you can! Admission into nerdfighterdom is simple: if you want to be a nerdfighter you are a nerdfighter. We don't judge you for your nerdiness, we just like that you want to be part of the community.

A recurring idea is an island nation called Nerdfighteria. Hank Green wrote a song about it (Hank Green writes many songs and has 3 albums which you should check out). Fun fact about Nerdfighters and Nerdfighteria: if we assume every subscriber to Vlogbrothers is a nerdfighter (approximately 688,000 people when I write this) then the theoretically population of Nerdfighteria would be larger than %31.8 of recognised countries in the world. (That's somewhere between Comoros and Equatorial Guinea in terms of population.) OK so there are probably disused channels, and people who have fallen out of nerdfighterdom (*cough* Abbey *cough*come back to us *cough* - or is being a nerdfighter like being a Catholic? You can say you're not anymore but the church stills counts you as one of them. One of them.), or have two accounts subscribed, so if we knock off %10 of those people then that only makes us fall 1 or 2 spots down the list. So it's actually a viable thing to create a society and working economy with that amount of people.

If we pitched in a dollar each we could buy an island. 5 each and we could buy a pretty awesome one (I know, I researched this), though we'd never fit more than a small fraction of nerdfighters on the island at any one time. Oh well. The dream of nerdfighteria dies... for now... But we live on online. Online is where it's at man. The weather is always perfect and distance doesn't mean a thing, unless you're in Nerdfighterlike, in which case then distance sucks... because you'd like to touch and hug them (and nothing else, or something else, depending on which verse of the song stage of the relationship you're in), even though you have a date with your bookshelf you could stay up on skype all night and slow dance to music that's royalty free. Too bad they don't live anywhere near you...

But yes. If you haven't watched the awesomeness that is John and Hank Green then go! Go now! I guarantee that through this journey of watching their styles form and nerdfighteria grow from Brotherhood 2.0 to TruthorFail, to now, you will laugh, you will get excited, and you will most definitely learn quite a few things about thing you didn't know you would care about until they were explained to you by a man with peanut butter smeared all over his face. (yes, that happened, John Green - respected best selling author everybody!) Oh, and if you aren't happy with peanut butter on his face, then why not watch him scribble on his face with Sharpie? 

I swear he's a really smart...  like... really smart I swear.

Oh, and of course I must end this with the obligatory Nerdfighter sign off: DFTBA! (Don't forget to be awesome) (Imagine I am saying with with the "live long and prosper" sign on both hands facing the wrong direction and crossed over my chest).

Pseudo-Celeb Status

Why do we love celebrities? Before there was Ben Affleck and Oprah there were important people who did things like royalty... back when royalty meant something. That's what we do now, we treat celebrities like royalty and follow them around thinking they're either brilliant or terrible and try to replace them. Then after following them around for so long having them shown to us as wonderful, people decide to just invade their lives and so we get photos of people at the beach or walking around and doing normal things. Shock exclusive photo of Sigourney Weaver without make up looking less than perfect! Who cares? When did celebrities stop being people and start being objects of fascination to study and stalk as if that was ever OK? Last I checked people generally have to sign forms to have their image released to the general public - unless you're famous and you're having a nervous break down. It's your own fault for doing something interesting... you should stick to an office job if you don't want your personal life to be twisted to fit the flavour of the month.

So why do we care when someone we don't know turns out to not be the perfect idolistic person we'd expect them to be (for no real reason at all)? Well I don't. So I'm going to talk about someone else.

Internet celebrities.

They're the weird interesting people who are ALWAYS normal non-perfect people who seem a lot more down to earth than other celebrities so there's no point in trying to bring them down to our level to laugh at their not-even-very-embarrassing photos. They're people who put themselves out there on some website (*cough* youtube specifically *cough*) and got more attention than anyone else. Who says they have talent? These people appear more human to us which... they ARE. They're just random's just like the people watching them. Why do you still feel so special and important if they reply to something you say or comment on your channel to answer some question you asked? They're pseudo-celebrities. The kind that you feel you can achievably interact with even though you're just a little person.

TheHill88 is an example of an internet celebrity who gained popularity by accident. Oh she was so young back then when she rapped about lazydork and lonelygirl15. (Remember when lonelygirl15 was actually a celebrity? Remember the mini-pseudo-media frenzy she caused when we found out that Bree wasn't real? That's the impact of someone sitting and talking to a camera. Never underestimate it.) She has gone from that random 3 years ago just vlogging, to someone who is in two films in production (according to imdb) and has achieved internet status and even had her own little mention on a news story. She now has over 72 THOUSAND subscribers on youtube. I think that's brilliant and truly an amasing thing. How did that happen? I'm not saying she's a bad entertainer or that she hasn't got talent, in fact I think she's awesome... based soly on the collected minutes of footage she has edited and decided to upload for the viewing pleasure of the masses (so technically I don't know do I? And all assumptions are based on someone's manipulated construction of themselves that they screen and select to show) which is basically anyone with an internet connection. Not only do I think she's great based on her vlogs (which, btw, when did talking to yourself become a popular form of entertainment for other people? Is it... like having half a conversation and only the good conversationists are sucessful vloggers?) but to have put up with the terrible onslaught of abuse and haters that EVERYONE no matter how GREAT they are will recieve on youtube. There are always people who are shallow and tools who are excessively cruel just because they can be. She has survived the abuse and not run away completely which is quite an admirable trait. Sure she had that gap of half a year but she's back.

OK see what I'm doing? I'm talking about her life, what she does, what I think of her and what I assume she's like. I don't know this person. It's like commenting on a celebrity. It's just plain weird. I would like to know this person and I don't want to treat her like some random celebrity that I would be thrilled to meet one day in a "OMG! OMG! OMG!" sense because to me they really should be that girl from Australia who got popular. But then... why would I care at all if she's not a real celebrity so I'm not idolising her and don't know her?

That's what internet celebrityness does. It makes you think of people as half everyday people and half celebrity so when you think about approaching this person or talking about them it gets weird. Now I'm wondering, I follow this person on Twitter, I'm a fan on facebook, watch and comment on their blog and youtube channel, read their wikipedia page. How far does it have to go before it becomes stalking? Not just for Caitlin but for EVERYONE. Having celebrity status kinda removes someone from the same "level" so to speak (in people's minds, not in reality, celebs aren't above us) so you think it's OK to read about their lives in the magazines and follow them around but then that's creepy isn't it? But it's... normal. But Caitlin isn't that hollywood million dollar cheque a movie star with her own walk of fame star and such so does this make it right? (I question the morality of Twitter and myspace regardless of what social status a person holds so yeah... but she's just a really good example)

My video I was loading of hers screwed up. I'm on dial-up because I exceded my download limits so I can't load it again because I'm going to bed after this. Dang, and I was hoping to be nostalgic and watch one of her old humorous videos to take me back to the good old days of youtube.

I've lost track of so much youtube stuff... coincedentaly I kinda stopped being obsessed with it when she stopped uploading then got more into it when she came back... coincedentaly. I was trying to go on more and give my channel more attention BEFORE "The Plan" was uploaded so no I'm not stalkerish on that point.

You know if she was reading this right now what would she think? How... weird would it be to read a blog post about yourself by a person you don't know? Is that what it's like to be a celebrity... always having people talk about you when they don't know you, haven't met you but still insist on having opinions of you and talking about you. That's why I've decided that I won't be mean to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in the future because they're really just people who got our attention and are known OF by all of us (but NOT known BY all of us) because the media can manipulate you so easily to thinking whatever you want. Lindsay Lohan recently laughed when she heard she was in a psychiatric ward of some hospital. It was news to her, she was busy not having a nervous breakdown in some jacket. You honestly believe everything? How sad. So yeah, Britney Spears doesn't need to read another thing online about how fat you think she is or how bad you think her new record is, it's all subjective and a matter of opinion (which, btw, is grossly misinformed unless you know the person personally).

So I'm just this random uninformed person... admiring this random semi-famous person for something they do occasionaly for fun... blogging about how weird the interaction is between the two kinds of people we are. Will I ever meet and get to know this person? Probably not.

Hello to all famous and semi-famous people out there. Have a nice day.

Holidays

Yay! Holidays! Freedom! No school! No getting up early in the morning! No fun AT ALL!!!!... Yes, I said that holidays are no fun and to be honest with you I think I am correct! (Well how can't I be? I'm bored because of holidays therefore holidays bore me therefore holidays are boring to me so you cannot argue because you're not me... you can agree though if you really want to feel included... when really you're not which is part of the problem) The problem with holidays is it's a time where you don't get to see your friends five times a week and everyone goes off and does things... Things that don't involve you... (awww... REJECTION! :P) Basically the thing about holidays if you can invite people over or go do stuff with them everynow and then all day because you're free to do that but most of the time it's just sitting at home not doing anything... I don't like not doing anything...

OK so besides the social isolation and sense of lonelieness (REJECTION! :P) that extended days away from school (precious media department... oh my secret lover how I love you and your cheap and barely working film equipment!) cause there's also the whole thing that these are the last holidays before exams. This means I have two weeks of basically doing nothing but work to prepare for these exams! I have to get all my assignments out of the way so basically it's four chapter exercises for chemistry and maths, english lit presentation (shakespeare), drama performance along with set designs for the play, eight things to do in physics plus and oral presentation on radioisotopes uses in biological investigations, have to edit who knows how many hours after hours of footage (TWICE) for media and there's some more but this blog is awfully boring enough as it is without me talking about school work.... in... detail that is... I already talk about schoolwork... but to who? Who actually... reads this blog!? Why don't I know!? Brooke, if you're reading this you better tell me (that way I actually get some sort of sign that you're still alive and therefore not dead... because dead is the opposite of alive :) and two plus two is four and in the movie The Titanic the boat sinks... obviousness! woot!) also, anyone else who reads this... also tell me? (So I can laugh at you behind your back :P) anyhoo, personal messages in a public forum are never too good of a thing... or is it? (I LIVE AT 52 CYCLOPS CRESENT PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA AND MY PIN NUMBER IS 5672! I ALSO LEAVE THE KEYS UNDER THE DOORMAT AND LEAVE MONEY LYING AROUND THE HOUSE!) Well saying things just to see what happens is always a good way to see who is dumb enough to believe them... (also saying that people are dumb for believing things is a good way to make them think that what you just said wasn't real when it actually was, thus saving your savings from being snatched up from their randomly placed positions around my house)

So yeah... someone out there enjoying their holidays? Well phooey to you! I dislike your enjoyance (word!?) of the world around you and the favour it has granted you! (I meant enjoyment... enjoyance? It's not a word... but it should be... I also dislike the backspace button. Quantity not quality here! Come on people! You don't think I blog for any other reason other than to have a blog that takes up a lot of space do you? DO YOU!?) Anyhoo, I'm going to go and continue writing my novel! hmph!


... oh yeah and I probably won't upload any youtube videos for a while... sorry guys kinda busy with homework. I might upload one during these holidays then another after them but until exams are over it's going to be quite inactive on youtube in regards to me... Although I will watch a few vids occasionally and tell people what I think (because SOME PEOPLE enjoy getting comments! Huh? Never thought the person might actually like that would you?)

have fun :)

Boredom

HI PEOPLE! I have been blogging less and less (and in turn my sleep patterns have gone all out of whack and I now think I am a duck... a magical duck that blogs) and in turn I have... nothing in my blog? Oh well I'M SO BORED! Although the librarians story about his racist foreign drunk for a neighbour is quite amusing :P Anyhoo, I am quite bored and so I decided to blog... I had something to blog about before but I don't remember it anymore and chances are I won't remember it because I just go on my own threads here (as do so many people I know) and The Used are an interesting band don't you think? Definitely think their second album is better than their first... or the other way round. Whichever one has "The Bird and The Worm" was better...

anyhoo... UGH! I really don't know what to say but I decided to talk anyway (which is... the normal actually if you know me :P) and I actually had an idea to blog about nothing (as I normally do. You idiots out there reading this are pretty annoyed at me now huh? :P unless I know you then you're not an idiot because you're probably reading this because I told you to...) but I don't like that idea and I think I had another... one day I'll blog about drugs but today isn't it... THE TISSUES HAVE RUN OUT! (You're enjoying this "talk about nothing" blog aren't you? ooohhh yeeahhh) That's RIGHT! Those darn tissues have lasted over a week of me having the flu and have finally run out even though they magically wouldn't all of last week for some reason that escapes me. But they have run out now! Yes... Yes they have... It's truly amazing (and... just as boring as my life) and their magic is no match for reality! I unfortunately now have no tissues and I still feel sick although I've been forced to go to school for the past few days... ugh...

You suck... yes... yes you do... yes and we all know I'm talking about the flu germs that plague me with every craggling cough! Ugh I'm actually feeling a lot better than I did last week (Thanks for asking! I know you didn't but I is internet people now and HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING!!) so I might actually get back to my youtube channel sometime... very sorry for neglecting it I've just been boring as anything and can't be bothered actually finishing anything (and in fact, I have no idea how many unfinished projects I have in the works) so maybe one day I shall... I'll try not to let anyone wait more than 2 whole months without any vids from me dont worry...

I'll be back..