Sunday, March 22, 2009

CB Podcast #1 Puppies!

Oh I forgot to talk about PANDAS... Oh well. Have a really random and kinda weird podcast thingy from me (to you) and it's me just talking to myself into my brand new iriver that I got for my birthday yesterday. It's mainly just for playing songs not recording things so it's not absolutely brilliant sound quality. I talk about Neo, The Day After Tomorrow and Puppies (and the crazy people who own them) and feel free to expect lots and lots more of these! (Also expect to be disapointed! Because they'll be less frequent then me blogging!)


Friday, March 20, 2009

The Secret of My Age

To begin let me take a minute to mention I am turning 17 tomorrow. Or 710 depending on how you look at it. The past 17 years have been pretty good... I haven't died during them (despite my ability to find a way to electrocute myself on occasions...) so that's a bonus I guess. I've done a bunch of stupid things... and I don't plan on ever stopping doing them again and again :) (one of those involves finding ways to be electrocuted.)

Oh yes I also want to reveal to everyone that I am indeed the original Poe Toaster. How I have managed to do this from the comfort of my 3-story Australian mansion overlooking the sea without ever leaving the house is yet another mystery I will not reveal so easily.

Well, although on my current (note the fact I'm talking about my present one) Birth Certificate it says I'm turning 17 but on older documents it states that I am turning 710 tomorrow. I will spare no expense in the celebrations and on my party (taking place a week from tomorrow) I shall be having 710 candles on my birthday cake(s). (Woo! Thankyou Rayne! Yeah you rock!) I also should mention now that setting things on fire is much more fun then electrocuting them and I will (along with the surroundings) most likely get burnt so hoorah! It'll be one smashing birthday party with the finale taking place in the emergency room! :D

OK, a really cool retired columnist from The West has recently mentioned that she doesn't believe that I'm 709 years old at all. Why would she? It's not like that's actually believable (all of a sudden all my friends realise how dumb they are for taking me seriously...) but it is actually a true story.... in a sense. Well OK! Here is the story of my unusual supposed birthday. Here is the story of the secret behind my age:

My mother one day was filling out tax forms (as you scary adults do) and she completed it (as you scary adults do) and sent it off to wherever you send tax form things that you fill out (as you scary adults do). Now, keep in mind that she has three children at this point in time. I am 2 years old as you would assume by looking at me and I am the youngest of my siblings. We are all under 18 years of age (how many cats do we have?) so we're all "Dependants." The tax department writes back (because emails hadn't quite been invented back then) and complains about what my mother has tried to sell them. She doesn't have three dependants at all! She only has two! How dare she try to lie and say she has three! What? That doesn't make sense! What about little old me? I exist don't I? Short answer: Yes. I do. The tax department didn't care because I wasn't a dependant. Well the explanation is simple: Their computers had me in them but the birthdate wasn't 21st of March 1992 but 21st March 1299 instead.

So I'm apparently 693 years older than I look, 665 years older than my parents, born 602 years before the Federation of Australia, 471 years before Captain Cook sailed around the coast, 307 years before the Dutch even discovered the continent and I'm the first EVER White Australian and the world's oldest ever (non-biblical) person to live by 588 years! (But at least I was born about 20 years after the 9th crusade.) Man I'm so old... but I'm look absolutely fabulous for 710! I don't have any wrinkles or anything! (Moisturiser! Or you could always go the approach of the world's oldest ever woman who lived to 122 and smoke, eat chocolate and large amounts of olive oil while rubbing it on your skin to stay young and healthy. Hey she smoked until she was 117 it must be healthy for you!) Of course the most creepiest thing about this is I hang around with teenagers (even people as young as 13 years old! Whoa!) But it's only because those ladies in the retirement homes think I'm too old and energetic for them... so you know, maybe I'll find someone who will at least last more than a decade to talk to... What's really annoying is that I don't even get a pension! What? That's an outrage! I'm the world's most beloved supercentarian! (I wonder if anyone will get that "Beloved" reference) I think there should be a word for people who live as long as I have... (superseptcentarian!)

The saddest thing is I'm 710 and it's taking me this long to get anywhere near graduating highschool... So much for taking history as a subject...

All my friends know that I, of course, am a vampire to explain the fact why I'm 710 and the only reason why I ever look different is because I grew a beard during the past year. Don't worry, I'm a nice vampire who doesn't go round killing people. I'd also like to point out that I'm not afraid of the cross but garlic is seriously NOT GOOD! BLEH! Urgh seriously that stuff is fowl. I once was talking on the phone while absent mindedly playing with a bit of garlic and then I took a little bite into it and AGH! BLEH! BLEH! BLEH! Nearly fell on the floor going quite insanely spastic. Spent half an hour drinking milk trying to get the horrible burning taste out of my mouth... so yes, vampires don't like garlic.

Well of course it makes sense that I'm the Poe Toaster! I knew the guy! You think I can't pay respects to an old friend? 200 years and it's still kinda sad he died at the ripe young age of 40...

Well now that it's crossed over past midnight and now it's the 21st I am now (well technically not really because I wasn't born at 12:15am...) 710 years old! And what am I going to do now that I'm so old and can now do practically anything I want? Well I'm going to eat a muffin of course! Mmm... midnight muffin :)

Goodnight loyal blog followers. A special mention to Michelle Philips who wanted to know why I go round parading as a 710 year old and now that I've finished my muffin I shall stop typing.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Age Paradox

Hello! Hi how are you? Good? That's good... Oh I'm good too thanks for asking. Nothing much is happening you know... the usual. Yes I did go see Watchmen it was fantabulaurious... No that's not a real word. Why thankyou I think it's a nice made up word too. What's that? You think this one-sided conversation is boring? Well I don't care for your opinion you don't exist... and hence I'm talking to you so you can't disagree with me and call me names....

I'm ever so lonely...

Ahem. *cough* OK! Back to... reality... well. Actually yes, yes reality. Reality is what I wanted to talk to you all about today (agghhh!!! Reality!?) CALM DOWN RANDOM STRANGER! It's all right... Reality won't hurt you... unless reality materialises in the shape of a bus and runs you over in the street... buses are vicious like that and have been known to do so on occasion merely because the busdriver was bored. (They have a scoring system. The younger and more agile you are the more you're worth... whoever gets the most points gets rewarded with a bus with a radio and not many school children to pick up along it's ruite.) No OK maybe that's a bit too unrealistic (Everyone knows it's going to be me who runs you down mercilessly for fun. Mwahaha.) so anyhoo...

I am like the characters on The Simpsons. (HOW is that like reality!?) Well I'm glad you asked magical man who lives in the brackets. You see I'm like The Simpsons because of the time paradox they present. Homer was raised in the 60's had Bart when he was 18 and is now 40 years old with a 10 year old son even though he lives (currently) in 2009 and thus is kinda... not... really... physically possible. Grandpa Simpson is also randomly a survivor of WW1 on occasions but is normally just a WW2 veteran. Eventually he'll be 120 years old which will present a problem. How am I like this? Well I'm not really the same as them... other than I mess around with time and age. I'm 16 and 709 at the same time... and that's not even a creation of my own little universe that's according to the tax department (Who won't give me a PENSION!?) so it get's all really really confusing when I talk about being a teenager.... who is 709. I'm not actually a teenager then am I? I call myself a child when I'm a supercentarian! I won't be a teenager for another few years (actually when I'm 20 I'll be a teenager. Huh?) So there's that little time paradox of refering to myself as two different conflicting things at once...

But it makes for great jokes at parties... "I'm 709 and I STILL HAVEN'T BLOODY GRADUATED FROM HIGHSCHOOL!... I should've taken History as a subject I would be good at that...." But people rarely ever seem to get the whole "It's quite unfortunate that I'll never live to be 800..." and they'll look at me and go "Well of course you won't you idiot." (Well they would if I actually ever really said that to anyone who didn't know that I was a 709 year old man who is really 16 but looks 20 instead of just talking to myself like I do... as shown above...) "You're far too fat to live to 800..." So how now do I deal with this time paradox of me being an age that is actually much older but is treated all the same? (Well I act like a 14 year old instead of a 10 year old then don't I? No one on The Simpsons actually acts their age do they?) So from now on I'll be quite the 709 year old man I am and yell at you all for your miniskirts and your TV's and your rock music and your computers and your emails and your pet bunny rabbits and your "bawoons" and your made up words and your tatoos and your piercings and your run on sentences and your poor grammar and your over use of the word and and your lack of commas and your lack of purpose or direction or sense of self or idea of irony and your modern art and your pies.... that's right.... old people don't like pie! What are you going to do about it? (Die young?) Nothing of course! I'm too old to argue with! Mwahahahaha!

Now my explanation for my appearance at such an old age is I'm quite simply a vampire... (I've been a vampire for quite some time now and it's working out fine. I haven't died so I suppose I can't... that's terrible logic... "I've never gotten fat so I suppose I can't." or "I've never done anything stupid when I'm drunk so BRING ON ANOTHER ROUND! AGGHHHHH!!! MORE VODKA AND WINE AND.... WHAT IS THIS!?" "Brandy" "IT'S S***! MORE WINE! I'M CLASSY IF I DRINK WINE!" Which is quite good logic when you think about it because your vomit has such a better smell to it than that of one drenched in beer...) So maybe I should quite the whole being 709 thing and actually just pretend I'm normal like everyone else does.... I know you're all really a lot older than you say you are... none of my friends are 16 or 17. They're all 22 and live in houses with 60 year olds that put on make up to look 40 then complain that they look 40 because 40 is a terrible terrible age because it's the time when you get to complain that you're old and everyone thinks it's terrible because we're all really really young and stupid and actually think 40 is old when it's not! 70 is old... 80 is really really old. 90 is defying the laws of nature and there's probably dark magic involved in living that long. That or you've bribed the doctors to give you special air that helps you breath in the wasted life of teenagers who sit at their computers typing excessively long blogs about nothing.... But like I said you're all really older than you look so 90 really means 300 and then for some reason all the 15 year olds who pretended to be 20 (because they secretly ARE 20) jump out of nowhere and yell "THIS IS SPARTA!!!" at you and because you're so old and frail you go "AGH! SWEET HOLY S***! Why are all these people yelling at me? I don't remember going to Sparta why am I in Sparta? Have I ever been to Greece before? I don't think so... Hey wait, I wonder where all those strange young men went I have no idea where they are but apparently I'm in Sparta now..." and they're 300 years old and if they don't say that string of dialogue it means they've had a heart attack and are now dead. So it's absolutely terrible to be 90 years old and out of the loop in random popculture references. It must really suck aging if your future is going to be some random teenager with a bit of chin fluff randomly yelling loudly at you at random intervals a reference to a movie you've never seen... then they put on sunglasses and go "I'll be back." just before driving a large vehicle through the side of your house...

...yes... aging is just that scary... there's teenagers lurking out there with P-plates just ready to mow you down!!!

Now here's a sentence that will mess with your mind "When I'm 21 I would've recently just started being a teenager but if you put it into dog years I'll be nearly 5000." Which makes no sense unless you realise that 21=714=5000=your mind has now died.

I thought I was talking about reality but apparently not... you know I'd really like to go back in time. It'd be pretty neat to laugh at people and go "Hahaha you're going to be really old one day and this is the proof!" before showing them a snapshot of they're half-caved in house, a reversing four-wheel drive and them sitting up straight in bed, wrinkled, old, scared half to death yelling "WHERE AM I!?"

And then one day someone's going to do that to me when I'm 790 years old and then they'll be yelling "Suck my blood now old man!" before driving away in their hovercar (which will shortly malfunction and fall to a fiery grave on the side of the sub-city pavement thus making it hilarious for me as I cough up blood before dying of heart and lung failure because I laughed too hard...) and then the vicious cycle ends there because that person doesn't age any further...

I hope you enjoy the future :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009


I've decided that my blog needs to become more openly friendly towards outside viewers (One day Brooke you won't be ashamed to show your friends my blog :P) so it can appeal to larger audience and therefore people will actually read what I write. So I'm going to be writing more broad-spectrum reader friendly blogs from now on, and what else to talk about that everyone will enjoy and love but a horribly violent comic book movie adaption!? WATCHMEN!!!!

Well let me start off by saying, yes, there will be blood (Wait no, that's already been used before) and you will be wondering just how violent this movie could get. The answer: pretty violent. Not horrifically (although all words are subjective to over/under use and are in no way quantifiable even on an individual scale and so by "Not horrifically" I mean it wasn't horrific to the point of disturbing to me but I am more desensitised than other people.) but quite violent indeed. There was more blood than there was in the comic book. The comic book wasn't really as graphic when Dr Manhattan decided to make someone go splat. This movie had bones (ribs and bits of spine) flying outwards with unidentifiable vital organs splattered in blood clearly visible when Dr Manhattan zapped someone. (At one point you see intestines dripping blood from the ceiling. The person looking up at them in shock has just had someone explode on them and is covered in blood.) I don't remember anyone in the comicbook having the bone in their arm broken at such force it protrudes from their skin but oh well. But when you think about it (well, if you have read Watchmen and then seen the movie) then you'll notice that the end is actually less violent than in the comic. You don't get to see the bodies... (SPOILERS!?) yeah that's hopefully not explanatory enough for anyone who hasn't seen the movie and wishes to.

I absolutely loved this movie but for some reason afterwards couldn't remember the names of the characters other than their "superhero" names. (They technically aren't superheroes except for Dr Manhattan. They are vigilantes, like Batman.) Which is odd because I don't remember them actually referring to them that much in the movie besides The Comedian, Rorscach and Dr Manhattan (Although Nite Owl is mentioned along with Ozymandias at least once or twice, and of course we all only know Hooded Justice and Mothman as just plain Hooded Justice Mothman.) so I was going "Ozymandias did this- wait. What's his name?" "Who?" "Ozymandias... Uh... the guy in purple..." (His costume changed! It was a lot less dark in the comic) "... the guy in Antartica." So that was an odd thing that happened. I kept calling The Silk Spectre II "Sally".

This movie is approxiamately 2 hours and 40 minutes.... and it has been chopped in half! Seriously for fans of the comic book you will watch this movie and be going "They've missed that, that, that, that, that guy had so much to him that's no longer there, they don't explain that, they don't explain that, that's not even mentioned!" ect ect but after you come out you'll be going "Wow! That was an awesome movie!" and you will definitely agree (I have already decided your opinions! You cannot fight me!) that they did an excellent job at telling the story of Watchmen while still cutting away all that they did. When you think about it, you didn't really need to know about the lesbian couple fighting in the streets, or the opinions of the newsstand guy or the relationship troubles of the prison psychologist... They might've bothered to have explained what the hell that weird looking pet that Ozymandias has but then again, where would you have put a piece of dialogue that explained that it was genetically engineered? But yeah there was quite a lot that wasn't needed (Tales of the Black Freighter was completely cut and is for sale on a seperate DVD.) so they got rid of it. That unfortunately gets rid of part of the social commentary but oh well. I liked it regardless! I'm not going to give any real ratings of this movie other than I thought it was awesome! Who needs to rate a movie or rank it? I enjoyed it even if it had the most liposuction I've seen in a movie adapation since Lord of the Rings (Half of the third book IS GONE! And they never explain the eagles and Tom Bombabil is completely ignored.) There's also a few changes so it's not going to be an exact replica with bits taken out. The ways a few of the people die are different (and have MORE BLOOD) so enjoy that!

Oh! Also, if you've read the book (including those random pages of text instead of images that make up extracts of the original Nite Owls book and other assorted things like a letter to Adrian Veidt from someone in marketing ect) you'll see at the very end a billboard with the word "Millionaire" in big pink letters on it. Well it's better than Nostalgia! (......get it?.... OK no, no one gets that. Adrian Veidt sells perfume! And one of the fragrances is Millionaire. It replaces Nostalgia... or the other way round. I'm pretty sure it's the former not the latter.)

Read the book. See the movie. Learn free will (In that order. If you do it in reverse then... you don't do the other two...)

Friday, March 6, 2009


Today I gots a bawoon! and it was da best thing evar cause it was all wound and cool :) It was da greenest wittle bawoon evar! I wuv mah cwute wittle bawoon cause it makes me happy-wappy alllllll over! Ima gonna mawwy mah bawoon :)

Sometimes I don't think I even know what the english language is!

Lol u r n00b I r l33t coz I hav destr3d all ur wrdz! I is grtest nd will pwn evr1 fr-evr! roflcopter teh english lnguag is ded. (boom! headshot!)

Everywhere we go we see another way the english language has changed, been altered and in some cases even bastardised beyond belief (as seen above) and I don't think we quite realise just how different our language has changed in the past 50 years let alone 100 or 500 (well of course we all know how much it's changed in 500. Highschool students constantly complain that Shakespeare didn't actually speak english!) Everywhere you go there's some slang term or idioms and innuendo ect. Sometimes I love the ambiguity of the english language sometimes I don't.

Lolcats are a wonderful example of how today's generation is COMPLETELY ILLITERATE!

Lol I can has a bad grammars now? Kthanksbai. I is in ur world screwing up your language! I r are using a singular plurals lol.

OMG! So, like, u no, we r, like, totally messing with the english language guys! Wth? all u guys are haters of the, like, english language you know?

Dude that was so totally trippy how you layed down all dat and man those haters got told!

.....what? Anyhoo, Americans are a lovely example of how the english language is dead. Don't believe me? "Color".... Yeah there's a reason why your spellchecks have "English" and "American" because Americans have decided that even though they didn't create the language they can do whatever they want with it. But then again, we all manage to mess up the language ever so slightly (Some of us can't spell. Others make up words like awesowonderilliant.) and all english speaking countries have their own lingo. (Tossers!)

But maybe the point of language is to evolve and change? Repetitivity causes melancholy towards reactions to words. "Hell" was such a strong word back in the day (709 year old getting nostalgic here) and Gone With the Wind's famous ending line "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." seemed shocking back then but now we're like "Damn! What kind of strange f*** found that offensive? That's bloody pathetic." "Damn right!" (The conversation then is a string of profanities... another reason why the english language is dead. It's become nothing but insults that few people find offensive anymore. Maybe we should just resort to foreign swear words instead?) I don't think the point of language is to evolve at all... makes studying shakespeare even that harder to do (and understanding children, such as myself *ahem*, twice as hard BECAUSE WE SPEAK GIBBERISH!).

Screw the ambiguity of our language now let's look at other languages! Rassgat. Icelandish term for a**hole..... or it's an affectionate term for how cute your baby is. (Now there's some ambiguity!) Imagine that: "Hún er óttalega mikið rassgat." (She's such a sweet little thing.) "How dare you!" *slap* "Don't you dare call my baby that again!"

So you know, the Ielandic language is also dead.... and so are a lot of people who think your baby is cute. Damn that f***ing sucks a** b*** s*** c*** an awful f*** lot!... dangit!

Swedish people also do not like swear words. "Fan" means Satan, Damn, or Fanatic. "I'm your biggest fan!" "Aghh! Satan!"

I hope you've enjoyed me talking about how language everywhere is ambiguous, interchangable within itself and constantly changing in ways you cannot predict (or eventually understand dawg) so if you haven't had a good lark from all of this banter I say "farðu í rassgat!" (And I'm not call you cute...)

Monday, March 2, 2009


I've been told a lot of what I say is cryptic. Crazy is a more appropriate word (I've been called that too! I call myself that all the time!) but crytpic is also very close to what I say sometimes. I don't know what exactly I'm saying that these people don't understand (probably everything. I had an hour long conversation on the phone last night with someone that went along the lines of "3:42PM! Come on! What are the recurring themes?" "I don't know!" "Well you're worried about sunburn and you're wearing a black dress." "What if it's long sleeved?" "Your face will get burnt." "WHY AREN'T I WEARING A HAT!?" "I don't know! You didn't bring one. But you're a terrible terrible person! Why would you say that?" "You're not getting any less confusing." "I have a pocketwatch because it's the future!" "Huh?" "I'm not wearing a tie apparently." "OOOHH!! Of course! I get it now!"....... if you understood that..... you're lying. No one will understand that.) but I'm pretty sure that whatever I say that's cryptic is because I want you to think or I'm just not saying anything of value and so people confuse it to be something half said.

Yes... I'm sure everything I say is actually smart enough to have a hidden meaning...

...wait a second.... it IS! (Well, no, no it's not....) some of the things I say have a meaning to it (whoa!) the only problem is no one ever gets it.... subtlety... doesn't work on people (No matter how many times you say "IT'S 3:42 PM!!!" I mean SERIOUSLY!? Who doesn't get that!? IT'S OBVIOUS ISN'T IT!? That'd be so freaky if someone out there actually commented on this blog with the exact meaning of 3:42pm.... somehow who isn't Brooklyn... or L. ~L~ can comment but not L. Yeah trust me... you're mind is screwed.) So I have decided that any time I have something to say I will just yell it at the person in a forward and upfront manner...

"...o..k... well that was unexpected there weren't any signs besi- OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THAT!"

"Who said that!?"

*Points dramatically* "THAT MAN IS BALD!"

"I thought you weren't going to become captain obvious just not cryptic... I don't see how you can make typing cryptic or how it need's explaining...."
jc od irf g8 r8 fd8rtmgl0 nwp sdj 7 n i59!!!!!

Yes. Don't you love the lack of subtlety in my blog now? :) I do. (I mean... I DO!) OK. Well now that we've all gotten through that awful business of not making any sense due to cryptic subtletyness we can continue talking about some pretty straightforward things... This is a blog. ("Straightforward not bloody retarded!" "Duuuuhhhhh" *drools*)

Wait no! I still have a cryptic remark! It was originally 4:32pm not 3:42pm! :O! EVERYTHING IS WRONG! (Of course it's 4:32pm! 3:42 is just too early... once again... I will give you more than just bonus cookie points if you can guess what I'm talking about.)

Who reads the instruction manual? I did once... and it gave me exactly what I wanted. EVERY OTHER TIME IT WAS COMPLETELY POINTLESS! (Manuals. Evil death of helpfulness. What? That wasn't cryptic at all!)

This blog has once again descended into a scrambling ramble of nothingness that will soon consume your brain and cause your very soul to melt in a series of nonsensical comments and exclamations followed by "what?"... A question... that is never actually answered!!!! Run! Run now! Before it's tooooo lllaaaatttteeeee!!! (I'm not talking about coffee) so I'm going to end this now before your mind has been damaged beyond repair.

I'm disapointed... this blog should've been longer. I used to have massive mammoth rants! Now they've dwindled into strange miniature ideas with a bit of filler involved (like spaces or paragraphs or punctuation!? EXTRA EXCLAMATION MARKS MAKE THINGS BETTER!!!!! I can has rehab?) so I'm sorry... I'm disapointed in myself. Was that sastifying enough for a short blog? You know it's not the length that matters or how big it's how you type it that counts.... right? You're not going to stop reading just because you don't enjoy it as much as you used to right? I can change! I can get my performance as a blogger back up! At least I'm doing it more often right? I'll find a way to extend my blog somehow by a few paragraphs... maybe you'll love me then...


It has also come to my attention that my blog has a lot of jokes no one will understand because they're random references to video games, old books or video games... hahaha sucks to be anyone reading this! :P I know I'm awesome because I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Mood: ???

Mood: Dead inside.
Listening to: Arkona (Russian folk black metal)
Reading: How do I read and type at the same time?
Watching: THE SCREEN! WHAT!?
Playing: My guitar. Because I can multitask
Eating: THE AIR
Drinking: MORE AIR!

Mood: Sticky tape
Listening to: The voices in my head.
Reading: My own blogs.
Watching: THE SCREEN! (Bloody hell how dumb is that!?)
Playing: With a roll of sticky tape
Eating: The consciousness of the universe. (Not very appetising)
Drinking: Something else of the universe's.... *whistles*

Mood: Ice cold shower and midday walks
Listening to: Fall Out Boy (No I'm not a screaming fan girl... I'm a screaming fan guy)
Reading: Day of the Triffids (How ironic my Sunday feels like a Wednesday)
Watching: The clouds go by
Playing: Pokemon Ruby for GBA
Eating: Boiled Pokemon eggs (BREED FASTER! Survival of the fittest = fail. I eat your eggs!)
Drinking: The blood of my enemies (and maybe a margarita or sasparilla)

Mood: Crazy as a I thought I was tomorrow
Listening to: The screams of my endless victims (like a symphony... OF PAIN)
Reading: Instruction manuals to my toaster (I WANT TOAST DAMMIT!)
Watching: The toaster fly out the window
Playing: Left 4 Dead... in my mind (I has no Xbox I be poor)
Drinking: Tomato sauce.

Mood: Paranoid.
Listening to: What's outside my window. Shhh...
Reading: The signs around me that someone is following me.
Watching: out for any stalkers.
Playing: the game of evasion
Eating: nothing. All food is probably poisoned.
Drinking: moisture from the air.

Mood: Apathetic.
Listening to: Simple Plan.
Reading: Margaret Atwood.
Watching: Bambi
Playing: with knives.
Eating: Prozacs
Drinking: Prozacs in liquid form

Mood: Violent.
Listening to: Slipknot.
Watching: AGGGHHH!!!
Playing: AGGGHHHH!!!
Eating: AGGGHHHH!!!
Drinking: Not enough!

Mood: Cannibal.
Listening to: Cannibal Corpses.
Reading: A newspaper (detailing my exploits)
Watching: My next victim.
Playing: With a dead body.
Drinking: Lemonade.

Mood: Desperately need scissors.
Listening to: Every Mozart and Chopin song.... all at the same time.
Reading: An ancient tapestry (I really don't like it... Someone give me scissors)
Watching: The hair straightener. It's watching me too... I can feel it staring...
Playing: with forks... not as good as scissors.
Drinking: Rocks.

Mood: High in the sky.
Listening to: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
Reading: Whoa dude! The page is covered in pretty colours!
Watching: The pretty colours!
Playing: With the pretty colours!
Eating: Music!
Drinking: Hash brownies

Mood: Banana.
Listening to: Silence.
Reading: Gee you're nosy.
Watching: Why don't you just admit you love me already?
Playing: You're such a stalker!
Eating: Get away from me!
Drinking: Nooooooo!!!

Mood: Avoding reality and sunlight
Listening to: Halo Wars Original Soundtrack
Reading: World of Warcraft related literature (The Sunwell Trilogy Graphic Novel)
Watching: The Trailer for Diablo 3
Playing: Fallout 3 for the 10th time.
Eating: Nothing but chips.
Drinking: Anything with caffeine or sugar (can't sleep. Must destroy megaton and kill entire village!)