Zombies

Zombies... they eat people flesh... no matter what kind of zombie they are (human, dog... cow...) they all seem to like human flesh. Gee wow being human just generally sucks doesn't it? Come on! Be like Aliens and go for dogs every now and then... or cats. Zombies (for those who don't know) are undead corpses of dead people who consist of necrotic tissue due to their recent death...... they are also no longer living. They eat human people flesh meat and somehow seem to digest this... In fact they are dead and therefore have no heartbeat and cannot distribute any blood to places... yet Zombies are often seen bleeding... This is because zombies are magical beings like pixies (pixies also bleed profusely)

They also do not digest food so obviously do not get fat... as a sure way to lose weight one must become a zombie. This will unfortunately lead to the death of everyone you previously cared about because you will eat them... But you won't get fat... This poses the question: What happens to the human flesh meat that is devoured by zombies? Well I cannot answer that question never having studied a zombie myself... I do not reccomend you study zombies closely because this will most likely end up with you getting eaten... (Because they like to bite... like your mum...)

Zombies are like old people... I don't think I need to explain why. Old folks homes are never destroyed during zombie attacks because zombies do not attack their own (but pixies do... cannabalistic pixies! Pixie murder squad... finding dinner for their young... by hunting other pixies young... :P) So zombies don't eat old people... This also means that your grandmother is now the most dangerous person to be around in case of zombie attack because they will flock around her and help her find children to devour (She may just be one already and you didn't know it... why did you think she hugs you so tightly and doesn't want to let you go? She also pinches your cheeks... TO GET TO YOUR BRAINS!) so all of a sudden a bunch of teenage youths stop being the violent, out of control and dangerous youth, that they are at their young age, into the saviours of mankind for they are no longer dangers to things living but dangerous to the undead... (unfortunately popping a cap in a zombie butt is not effective for killing them... we all know it's just really fun to see them jump with their blank eyes as the bullet penetrates the squishy tissue :P BAM! Bullet to the butt!) Our violent tendencies and completely reckless attitudes combined with stuff we've seen in movies (and therefore MUST IMITATE! :D) allow us to go out and kill lots and lots of zombies with our friends with whatever we can find (Nearly everything can be used as a blunt weapon as any teenager will tell you) and our lack of morals and lack of social skills due to our over computer use and our desensitised reactions to gore and death from watching movies make killing your best friend because they've been bitten all that much easier...

... mwahahahahaha... (Don't go zombie hunting with me... I hog the sniper rifle)

Zombies are also funny when they dance...Zombies are also good at Elvis impersonations for no real reason...

... hehehe dancing zombies...