A Series of Poor Job Application Attempts

Google search: Where do I buy a job?






Go on Seek > Don't have any search criteria other than in my general location > proceed to scroll down past all the jobs searching for experienced chefs that are also registered nurses with forklift licenses and lots of experience in customer service...






dear random


like


I want the job


because I have previous experience and I am a well...


...organis...happ... good talk...


..


I have many qualities


I have... legs






*scrolls down Tumblr for ages*






I think I've been at this for an hour? I haven't applied to anything yet but I've written half an email.






Surprise! I'm here! Give me money?






Message friend: Quick. What's something good about me that's also job related?


Good at socializing.


No, something that's true.


Friendly to people you work with/customers.


No, something that's true.






""If you have good communication skills, could assist another person to develop and maintain new social networks, enjoy working with people and are a good role model in social situations-" Oh f*** I'll be unemployed forever. Ugh.






ONE JOB APPLICATION DONE! WHAT'S NEXT?






...pizza. I can make pizza. But I don't want to shave... suck it up man. Think of the camera gear you could afford if you had a job.






"Dear... you.


I like pizza."


That's relevant for my cover letter yet? Well it's not like I'm going to eat what I make so I could hate it all I care? I hated everything I made at Hungry Jacks so...






Screw it. Send. Send it all.






Time to STOP DOING THIS.






Funds low. Send job.