Bawoons!

Today I gots a bawoon! and it was da best thing evar cause it was all wound and cool :) It was da greenest wittle bawoon evar! I wuv mah cwute wittle bawoon cause it makes me happy-wappy alllllll over! Ima gonna mawwy mah bawoon :)

Sometimes I don't think I even know what the english language is!

Lol u r n00b I r l33t coz I hav destr3d all ur wrdz! I is grtest nd will pwn evr1 fr-evr! roflcopter teh english lnguag is ded. (boom! headshot!)

Everywhere we go we see another way the english language has changed, been altered and in some cases even bastardised beyond belief (as seen above) and I don't think we quite realise just how different our language has changed in the past 50 years let alone 100 or 500 (well of course we all know how much it's changed in 500. Highschool students constantly complain that Shakespeare didn't actually speak english!) Everywhere you go there's some slang term or idioms and innuendo ect. Sometimes I love the ambiguity of the english language sometimes I don't.

Lolcats are a wonderful example of how today's generation is COMPLETELY ILLITERATE!

Lol I can has a bad grammars now? Kthanksbai. I is in ur world screwing up your language! I r are using a singular plurals lol.

OMG! So, like, u no, we r, like, totally messing with the english language guys! Wth? all u guys are haters of the, like, english language you know?

Dude that was so totally trippy how you layed down all dat and man those haters got told!

.....what? Anyhoo, Americans are a lovely example of how the english language is dead. Don't believe me? "Color".... Yeah there's a reason why your spellchecks have "English" and "American" because Americans have decided that even though they didn't create the language they can do whatever they want with it. But then again, we all manage to mess up the language ever so slightly (Some of us can't spell. Others make up words like awesowonderilliant.) and all english speaking countries have their own lingo. (Tossers!)

But maybe the point of language is to evolve and change? Repetitivity causes melancholy towards reactions to words. "Hell" was such a strong word back in the day (709 year old getting nostalgic here) and Gone With the Wind's famous ending line "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." seemed shocking back then but now we're like "Damn! What kind of strange f*** found that offensive? That's bloody pathetic." "Damn right!" (The conversation then is a string of profanities... another reason why the english language is dead. It's become nothing but insults that few people find offensive anymore. Maybe we should just resort to foreign swear words instead?) I don't think the point of language is to evolve at all... makes studying shakespeare even that harder to do (and understanding children, such as myself *ahem*, twice as hard BECAUSE WE SPEAK GIBBERISH!).

Screw the ambiguity of our language now let's look at other languages! Rassgat. Icelandish term for a**hole..... or it's an affectionate term for how cute your baby is. (Now there's some ambiguity!) Imagine that: "Hún er óttalega mikið rassgat." (She's such a sweet little thing.) "How dare you!" *slap* "Don't you dare call my baby that again!"

So you know, the Ielandic language is also dead.... and so are a lot of people who think your baby is cute. Damn that f***ing sucks a** b*** s*** c*** an awful f*** lot!... dangit!

Swedish people also do not like swear words. "Fan" means Satan, Damn, or Fanatic. "I'm your biggest fan!" "Aghh! Satan!"

I hope you've enjoyed me talking about how language everywhere is ambiguous, interchangable within itself and constantly changing in ways you cannot predict (or eventually understand dawg) so if you haven't had a good lark from all of this banter I say "farðu í rassgat!" (And I'm not call you cute...)