Sunday, August 25, 2013

You Need to Stop Caring About Celebrity/Youtuber Relationships

You need to stop. Just stop. Here's why:

Every now and then a relationship occurs between two popular personalities. These could be two celebrities like Brad and Angelina (if we're going for super famous) or Jenny Bingham and Tom Ridgewell (if we're going for not so famous but still reasonably known for the Youtube example) and then people go "awwwww, that's great! I like this combination of people who I am fond of as individuals!" Yay. Good. Glad we are accepting of people getting together instead of bitterly sitting in the corner weeping "why won't Brad Pitt pick me even though he's never heard of me? If only he had twitter so I could profess my love to him in 140 characters or less!" (I'm so glad I'm over that phase of my life... *shivers*)

The issue arises when they break up and people decide they don't like that. Thankfully our great celebrity ship Brangelina remains canon and we can all rest safe and sound knowing that she will stick with him regardless of whatever weird facial hair he grows... But Tom and Jenny aren't together anymore and suddenly people seem to think that their input and opinions are relevant to this situation.

"But you were such a great couple. I wish you could get back together. Why did you break up? This is clearly [one of the people]'s fault. I'm so sad that you two broke up." Etc etc etc.

Stop. 2 months on and people still comment these sorts of things and discuss it under videos unrelated to their relationship.

Here's the thing: these relationships are experienced by you through filtered down snippets that are mediated by the individuals in that relationship and then expressed in tiny amounts through whatever medium that they choose, whether that's magazines or instagram and a 5 minute "boyfriend does my makeup" tag video. Do you honestly think you have a detailed and accurate representation of the complexities of that relationship? To you, the random observer who has no personal connection to these strangers on the internet, all you see is this idyllic 2 dimensional relationship where there's never any fighting or issues whatsoever because why would you publicly air a fight you just had on the internet? We forget that just because there is an element of the relationship being known to the public it doesn't mean that it is a public relationship. We see the good parts and only the good parts because those are the only things you'd share with a bunch of strangers.

What I'm trying to say is you are mourning a delusion. You are missing a fantasy you constructed in your head because you lacked enough information to accurately understand their relationship. When you say "I wish they got back together" what you're saying is "I miss the simplistic idea of you two together". It disregards that these people have lives that they live outside of your personal scrutiny and those lives are complicated. Their relationships don't end because it's some dramatic plot point in a fictional narrative that has reached the season finale. This isn't the cliffhanger and they're not getting back together next summer when regular episodes on 9:30pm on Thursday return. They had reasons, their relationship had issues, and they made personal decisions to deal with those issues by breaking up.

They owe you nothing but you owe them the decency to respect their decisions and leave their private life to them. They didn't have to tell you to begin with so be glad you got to ship them for however long they let you and then respectfully shut up. How do you think it makes them feel to read a bunch of strangers incessantly talking about a past relationship? How awkward would that be if someone came up to you in the street and said 2 months after your break up "you two are so cute together. You're my OTP."?

So before you comment on the relationship of a celebrity or a well known youtube personality (or actually just anyone you don't know personally whether they have 300,000 subscribers or 3) stop... and just don't.

Just stop.


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