It's christmas in 2 hours.
Damn you Santa you've never brought me a single present from the day I was born! (....709 years ago...) OK I'll get to that later but first:
It's christmas. Can't believe an entire year has gone by since last Christmas.... feels longer than a year. Last Christmas I was sitting there with one idea in my head and this year I have the same damn idea only changed slightly. Not going to tell you what it is but it makes me smile :) An entire year! Well it's been great hasn't it? I love this year it's a very nice year :D The very first day I woke up feeling estatic and I know for a fact that I shall fall asleep on the very last day of this year feeling even better and wake up the next day knowing that the year to come holds so much for me...
... JUST NOT PRESENTS FROM SANTA!
I need to wake up in 11 hours from now. That might happen... or not. Who knows? I strangely have never been incredibly enthusiastic about Christmas (maybe because of Santa? Yeah, guess what? I'm not going to leave cookies out for you either you fat son of a b***) I am such a boring child (really old child) aren't I? (Oh man so many people will probably hurt me for insulting their lord and master Santa) Christmas isn't that interesting and this Christmas is the only time anyone outside of my family has ever gotten me a present and this is the first time I've gotten anyone a present too. I managed to find exactly what that person wanted so I'm happy :) I also don't like Christmas that much because of all my annoying cousins.... I think I've mentioned this all before in a post somewhere in www.ramblingsofcornflakes.blogspot.com so screw that.
... You sir, (You sir!) have visted every single house in the western world except for mine... (Why is Australia considered part of the western world? It's more east than Africa!) AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH!? Come on I haven't done anything bad this year except set fire to those orphans! (But they were throwing rocks and big people with knives so I decided that rocks + knives + orphans = reasonable excuse to set fire to something) I know I'm good enough for Santa to give me presents... it's just that there's always been something missing in my childhood that stopped me from getting presents from him...
... my mother always said he wasn't real....
Yep. My mother refused to ever let me believe in anything mythical. I remember when I was 5 and people would mention what they ask Santa for and I wanted to know why I never got anything from Santa so my mother just goes "He's not real." Oh come on! You don't tell a 5 year old that! Then I tried to explain to her why she was wrong... and she was just like "No, their parents just sneak the presents in late at night and write "From Santa" on them. If they've seen Santa that was just their father dressed up."
Strangely enough my peers were not open to this suggestion of explaining things and I was told that I was stupid. Santa is so real! Either my mother is lying to me or the entire year one student body was lying to me.... rule one of being a little kid: Parents don't know anything. Even if they say that Pokemon aren't real they're most likely wrong and have no idea what they're talking about. Therefore a random 5 year old who would tease me for being fat is far more reliable than my mother and SANTA IS REAL! SANTA IS REAL!
WHY SANTA WHY!? (Suddenly, during his driving test to get his P plates he suddenly remembers the repressed memories of all the depression and anguish of feeling like he didn't succeed in being a good person all those years that Santa never gave him anything and breaks down in mid gear change and breaks down.... just before the car breaks apart as it hits a tree)
I never got that extra present that appeared overnight... when it was easter I got hot cross buns instead of easter eggs hidden around the house and garden (not that it really matters considering that I don't actually eat chocolate anyway) and whenever I lost a tooth and put it underneath my pillow I woke up the next morning to find that it was still there!! Come on I got paid 50cents a week. An extra dollar for a tooth is too much to ask!?
Yes... truly a traumatic childhood.
Hey what's also traumatic is taking a lot of pictures of christmas lights only to come home and realise they're all blurred. Oh well. My camera completely sucks and if there's any movement at all then it'll blur. I can adjust the exposure so some of the photos I took look like they were taken during the day but can't adjust the shutter speed (unfortunately if I adjusted the shutter speed to compensate for the movement then I'd need to adjust the exposure up even more than previously to get the same image only the camera can't do that either so it's kinda really bad...) Yes it's incredibly traumatic I'm thinking about breaking down and crying right now because of it :P (haha one day I really will break down and cry and no one will take me seriously)
SANTA! I shall find you! (As a kid I thought of ways to capture Santa and the Easter Bunny.... I don't know why... I just felt like leaving traps for them.... poison cookies or something. I am evil)
You cannot hide... I know where you live!..... the north pole! (which by the way, does not exist on google earth... that's right... global warming has destroyed Santa's home... he has now moved to Canada) or... Canada as I just said... curse you parenthisis or.... however you spell it....
Goodnight one and all :)