Sunday, September 7, 2008

The French Government Does my Laundry

Yeah OK if you don't get that then you need to see the movie "Sicko" by Michael Moore (It is awesome) and pretty much all I have learnt from it is that being American kills you from the inside. Yes, that's right, you die from just being an American! :P OK the French drink at young ages, smoke, eat fatty food (and according to a friend of mine who went to France for a month some of them also do drugs...) and yet they still live longer than Americans on average and we all know that smoking will kill you slowly and painfully. What I found really amusing about the movie is how it portrays the health system of other countries as purely wonderful compared to America especially France and Britain. OK if you haven't seen it he basically goes into a British hospital and asks people about their bills and how much they spent on their ailments and they just look at him and laugh! Yes, they laugh at you for asking them about spending money in a hospital. He goes around trying to find a medical bill and people just laugh and then he finds a cashiers office and he's like "aha! people do pay money!" well that's all nice and WRONG! WRONG Michael Moore! Because the man behind the counter then explained that he gave people money! Yes that's right... British hospitals give out money to people for their travel expenses... Pretty neat huh? Yeah British totally is awesome! Rock on Britain!

France is better though (cue hatemail from the dirty English pig-dog scum :P nah I love England but when I explain what happens next in the movie you'll agree with me that France is also awesome) because Michael sat down with a bunch of Americans living in France and asked them about sick leave holidays and they get 5 weeks minimum in France. Imagine that... your boss simply doesn't let you work for 5 weeks and pays you anyway! Lol you show your face in your work building and they will beat you up... then pay for your medical bills :P (nah they won't beat you up but it'd be nice to think that your boss cares enough to do that to you if you try to shorten your holiday) Then he went to some family to see how the taxes involved in making the free health care work were effecting them and they had someone employed by the government folding their laundry and cooking them meals and helping with the baby! That's right... the French government will do your laundry! (Under certain circumstances that is... I forgot why I think something to do with maternity leave... yeah that's probably it... People don't just do your work for you people so don't just go to France and expect them to do everything for you that's just stupid. Plus you Americans abolished slavery remember? Guess who's regretting it now? :P) Oh what else did the french do... oh yeah! Some doctor lived in a 1 million dollar three story house (kinda like me!... only his looked better :( and had fish...) and their list of expenses went Mortgage, holidays, food, fish... yeah when asked about what else they needed to pay for they go "um... fish?" and so then I just made jokes about how they were very unhappy because they were all a bunch of French extensionalists and life was pointless and meaningless to them... and the man attempted suicide yesterday because the fish cost too much (he decided this because the way the smoke from his fancy cigarette billowed over his expensive wine and distorted the image of the 2 by 2 metre exotic fish tank made the fish resemble a symbol for the fleeting hedonism and emptyness of his existence..... as fish normally do....)

The moral of the story is don't buy fish if you're French...

But yeah strange jokes aside, (Wine matures with age, maybe one day you will too? :P *hits drums* "Hey! Get away from my drums!" "Crud! Run!") the French and British health system is incredibly good compared to the American (as shown by this completely unbiased documentary... yes I do realise how the media manipulates things ect and was watching it with that in mind but it just looks good... and I was trying to look at ways you can manipulate things and some bits looked slightly over dramatised but it looks all right really I am becoming a fan of Michael Moore he really does seem to have an idea of what he's doing) and speaking of the American health system: it doesn't like poor people. But how does it like heroes? Good old Mike (His full name was getting tedious to write out... seriously though if you were famous and everyone you met called you by your full name you'd get annoyed right? So Michael Moore is now Mike and George Bush is now GDawg) he went and found out this. He got these people who helped out during 9/11 (I feel sad now mentioning this but don't worry things will get better. Beat those terrorists!) and didn't get anything for it and have massive health problems because of it (helping dismembered/dead people out of a collapsed burning building may cause post traumatic stress disorder... or problems with your lungs) and they can't get compensation for being at ground zero...

.. terrorists on the other hand get the best care they possibly can at Guantanamo Bay! :D (That is when they're not being brutally tortured? Yeah let's not discuss that... because quite frankly I have no idea what they do there... and I is scared of the governments... nah jj :P) Yes they have a doctor to prisoner ratio of 1:4 and so you know the guys who saved people from probably the most horrific terrorist attack on American soil get nothing and if Osama Bin Laden has a tooth ache he gets the best treatment he can. Well Michael Moore and I apparently have similar minds because he did something pretty darn funny which I would've loved to do! He gathers up these people in need of medical attention and literally takes them to Guantanamo Bay! :D He's in his little boat (has 3 of them because there's so many people) and picks up a megaphone and says to the guard tower "These are the heroes of 9/11 and we just want some medical attention... we just want the same treatment as the evil doers!" which was absolutely hilarious to me really he's just gone down to Cuba to ask a fellow American to let someone have a dentist look at their teeth...

... and a siren goes off :P

LOL! XD American doesn't like Americans but they like Asubaradabadman Afusu Guhaba666man (the most vile and hated Terrorist of all time! Look his name up on wikipedia... that name again is Asubradmandoufgfghrh24 Afulol69

So failing having Americans give Americans proper medical treatment that was affordable they went EVIL COMMUNIST CUBA! (Because Mike is PURE EVIL! He worships Fidel Castro... or should I say... INfidel Castro?... no... no I shouldn't... I don't actually dislike the guy in anyway... mainly because I don't know why I should I've never really researched to find out if he is actually a bad guy so if I ever met him I'd kindly shake his hand... unless it started glowing... WITH EVIL!) And in EVIL COMMUNIST CUBA they went to an EVIL COMMUNIST HOSPITAL and saw some EVIL COMMUNIST DOCTORS and got EVIL AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE! (They found the medication someone needed that would've cost them $200 in the states for 5 cents an inhaler... an EVIL COMMUNIST INHALER!) So yeah, walk into an EVIL COMMUNIST hospital in Cuba and they'll ask you your name and age then treat you...

... but they're still evil... oh yes definitely... *cough* I mean... why would the American government have lied to you abut how PURELY EVIL Cuba is?... and then take part of it BE American soil? Cuba is PURE EVIL!... Let's make it part of us! (Us being you not me I'm not American... nor do I want to be because as I discovered earlier than being American kills you! You just generally suck when it comes to health care... or living...) so yeah I've learn from this documentary the PURE EVIL of the EVIL COMMUNIST hospitality and kindness! (Curse you kindness! Don't make me blow the hell out of your country!) and that America just sucks...

No offence... but you do... Oh yeah plus there was something in there about Canada (Woo! Canada!) but I can't be bothered talking about it... Go watch the movie! Canada rules!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well this was very good
the only bad thing about you feeling bad about 9/11 is YOU FEELING BAD ABOUT 9/11, Because if I could tell you honestly, the American government actually set them up, there was no terrorists, only American government setting us up to get our minds off of things, that is why I seriously think the media [Britney Spears, stupid, stupid, and that other stupid thing called Miley Cyrus] and the government is tied together so when something wrong goes with the President they call: "Hey, uh, Lindsey? Lindsey Lohan? do you think we can shoot you doing cocaine? and uhm, post it on the web? we'll have to send you to 'jail [which is there house that no one knows about in some small remote town in like CUBA!] for about a month, but we'll pay you 500,000 thousand dollars and, uh, yeah, you can keep the coke'
it's sick

and the only other thing that I hope in that documentary talked about, about Canada [yes I've been there and I do love Canada] but the only thing is that you have to stabilize yourself for a year before they give you free medical and heath care and the college benefits. So yes

'50 Things You're Not Supposed To Know' by: Russ Kick
is an amazing book I recommend you read my friend!


yes it's me :!