Saturday, November 20, 2010

TSA Stupidity/A little bit of irony

Hey kids! Ever been molested while boarding a plane? I thankfully haven't. But then again I don't a) live in America b) fly in planes (I fly through super powers...) Well that's not actually what I wanted to talk to you about (though is it quite disgraceful to treat a three year old like a terrorist) as awful as that is.

Let's talk about somebody else who ran into trouble with the TSA: Soldiers returning from Afghanistan. (Here is a story about it which you must read before reading the rest of this!)

For those too lazy to read that amusing and factual article I will sum it up for you: A bunch of US soldiers returning from war (WHILE HOLDING THEIR WEAPONS) are asked to be screened again after all the trouble of having to get back into the country again and one of them empties their pockets only to reveal that this man, this US Soldier holding an assault rifle and a pistol, is in the possession of a nail clipper. Then he gets it taken off him because "it could be used as a weapon".

Let's just break this down.

These soldiers are returning from war, they're the kind of guys who fight against the nasty people who take over planes (and the very reason why TSA is now so strict you can't have a nail clippers hence the irony of the situation) and do bad things. They've just risked their lives for their country... and they're worried that (while holding a gun - even though it has no bullets in it it is still somewhat heavy/intimidating/capable of being used as a blunt weapon to beat people up) this US Soldier is going to try and take over a plane taking them home while over 200 other US Soldiers are on board... with a pair of nail clippers...

OK. Now ignoring the fact that there are plenty of other soldiers capable of defusing the situation and saving the day, let's say there is one bad guy who decides "Yeah! I'M GOING TO CLIP SOME S*** YEAH! PILOT GIVE ME THE PLANE OR I CLIP YOU! I CLIP YOU GOOD!"

But then! THEN! The pilot gets an adrenaline rush, he envisions his wife and kids (I'm not sexist, it's just that in this story the pilot just so happens to be a man.) back home and that gives him the courage to stand up against this evil nail clipper wielding maniac of doom and prevent the next 9/11 from ever happening! The pilot with almost superhuman reflexes slaps the soldiers hands, knocking the nail clippers to the floor. With rapier wit and a proud smugness to this brave pilot's face, he says "No. Bad soldier. No."

...Then get's pummelled repeatedly by the soldier who has biceps the size of his head because quite frankly...


Surely part of his training involves hand to hand combat. Even if the pilot had a gun I don't think that it would really stop the soldier with or without a pair of nail clippers. It's not like he'd announce it "Hey Pilot, I'm about to sneak up behind you and break your neck. Please don't shoot me?"

So remember people, next time you're returning from war after bravely risking your life... don't let them take away your nail clippers. They are yours. They are yours and screw TSA if they want to take them away from you!

(Though it's best not to mention to them that you could kill the pilot with your bare hands if you wanted to because the scared TSA guy will call security on you)

This just in! (I'm not making a whole new post) Someone was forced to stand soaked in their own urine without an apology because of TSA completely ignoring them tell them about their medical condition. Link. It's just ridiculous. Don't they get told to like... use ears? Or even eyes? ARE TSA HEARTLESS ROBOTS!? The answer: probably. The robot uprising starts with TSA.

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