Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Birthday Gift Suggestions

The following is an email I sent to my friends who had requested a list of things to get me for my birthday (which was months and months ago. Man, I sure hope I get some of these gifts soon...) and I thought I'd share it with you today because it's very special to me. I hold this list close to my heart at all times hoping that one day it will be complete.... no one loves me enough to let me achieve this dream though.

Read. Now.

#1 Electric Guitar
#2 A cute kitten
#3 A really REALLY cute kitten
#4 A monkey
#5 An even bigger monkey
#6 A turtle
(OK you can guess where my mind is...)
#7 A tree... fully grown. Nothing that can fit in a pot. seriously, get me a redwood that towers above my house...
#8 Any book by Tom Holt or Terry Pratchett (I don't care I only own one "Guards Guards!")
#9 Any CD by Tool
#10 A old-fashioned pocketwatch
#11 A brick!
(OK you're probably thinking this list of things isn't serious.. I don't know why you would think this I honestly would enjoy you getting me a brick/monkey/turtle/giant tree/book.... that'd be awesome!)
#12 Any of the following Apocalyptica albums: Cult, Plays Metallica by four Cellos and their self-titled Apocalyptica

Failing any of these things then some money is fine.... failing money then a card is fine.... failing a card then a hug is fine... if u do not have any arms and therefore cannot hug me then licking my face passionately like a dog is fine... (lets hope u have arms) failing that then you are in dire need of urgent medical attention because ur arms and tongue have somehow been cut off between now and saturday and u probably should not be attending my party because of the severe injuries u have sustained... i shall send u a get well card as soon as i can. If you are not suffering from a life threatening injury/illness/psychological disorder then i'll see u on saturday (hopefully) and ur presence can be my present! because i really took a long time trying to think of that (VERY SERIOUS AND REALISTIC) list of 12 things for u to somehow magically purchase me with money I didn't know u had... and so I really don't mind if u don't get anything on that list at all... all i really expect is for u to wear clothes.... (Aren't you so glad that the fact that you showed up was a gift enough for me to be happy?) yay! having guests at a party will be fun*... feel free to wear whatever clothes u wish hey they can even be proper clothes instead of pyjamas if u really want them to be i don't mind it's a party! let's dress sensibly! woo!

I got two bricks for my birthday. It was a good day.

*It sure will be.

1 comment:

sam-ham said...

haha lol :) I have one terry pratchett book, that I don't read. The first discworld novel. want it for a belated birthday present? :P

can't help with the animals or trees yet, or the guitar, or the cds (living in the past man :P its all mp3s these days :P get with the times!)

an old fashioned pocketwatch would be cool.