Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Every now and then...

...I go into a frenzy of trying to get a job. It's emotionally draining sending resumes off over and over again knowing that I won't get a single email back. Not even a rejection email.

See job hunting is a lot like trying to date 100 different people in a month and you know they're all going to reject you by never calling you. It's really not fun. This is, of course, after sifting through the thousands of jobs that come up that require experience you can't get (because you don't have the experience to get the job to get the experience to get THIS job) so the entire thing seems lengthier and more time consuming than it should be. It starts to feel like a waste of time (time I could be spent earning money or doing productive things like studying for my degree) and in a lot of instances it probably is.

Then something gets in the way and I feel I can only tackle one problem at a time in a linear fashion... Suddenly life improves. Job hunting kills me. It's like actively taking hours out of your day to punish yourself and tell yourself you're inferior to others because you don't own a forklift license (seriously, what is up with all the jobs that require forklift licenses?). Job listings on websites are always disorganised and barely related to the search criteria that returns them. The problem is that all this time spent not being employed or job hunting accumulates to a bunch of money I could've had by now if only I had someone gotten some terrible casual job in some dodgy dank place somewhere (bonus points if the manager was balding and refused to discuss the mysterious mould that was growing next to the employee's lounge) and that always haunts me whenever I stop and think "wow, I really wish I could afford this lens for my camera..."

I just want to get it over and done with. If I get a job I can stop worrying about that job. It's just so tiring... or maybe I have a medical condition. I should probably get that checked out but I'm currently too busy job hunting/complaining about job hunting.


Have you ever noticed how and are the same website with a different logo attached? Have you noticed how is as functional as an alcoholic is at driving? Because I have. I notice them all.

I have it glazed into my eyes.

"Experience needed..." the bane of my existence.

The end of my university degree approaches. I fear the end is coming. Someone come throw money at me and reassure me that I have the good part of a decade left of my 20s to go...

Sunday, July 14, 2013

I hope Tumblr never dies.

I hope Tumblr never dies. I hope the servers stay active for generations to come, long after we are gone and forgotten. I hope the archives remain like a digital archaeological site and people come back to it to sift through the millions of pieces of information to see a glimpse of our generation growing up… Mingled between the homoerotic fanfiction and cat gifs are real life stories of millions of people out there blogging about heart ache, success, moving out, graduating, coming out, sending messages to strangers, creating things. I really want future generations to be able to look back on us. Not history, but us, as people, and from the extensive daily records of our lives come to know us better than the characters they love in books. We’re not just a faded daguerreotype to be pondered over by a curious collector. We are entire books without paper pages. Give it enough time and you will record more to your life than War and Peace.

Could you imagine someone out there falling in love with the memory of someone who died a hundred years ago because of their blog? That seems silly because it’s never happened before but think about it. The static words on a screen, the virtual memorial to your youth, being read by some lost teenager going through the same old problems of growing up and facing life just in a different time… We have these shared basic themes to experience: how to fit in, dealing with the transition to adulthood, being judged for our appearance and coming to terms with the fact that it doesn’t matter. These aren’t limited to our generation even if we don’t really think about our parents struggling with looking in a mirror at age 15…

They could go from the start and watch you grow, watch the progression of your life and get so attached to you and then… your blog ends. The last post has been made. They know you probably lived on past that, that you just moved onto some other website that they’ll never find and you might have spent decades being happy but at the same time… that’s it. That’s the end of the story you have lived and shared and it sinks in and it’ll hurt more than any fictional character because it’s real. You’re dead… you died years ago and it’s too late to send a reassuring message to tell you it’s OK, you’ll get past your problems eventually… They know, because they read on after 2013 and saw that one day you’re happy again, that the mirror doesn’t hurt to be near, that you find love, that you stopped needing those pills to get up in the morning… And after all that all that’s left is dust and words.

But you live on in the faint flickering light of a computer screen displaying the long neglected archives of the autobiography you wrote with words and images many many decades ago… a new way to be remembered.

I'd like to be remembered.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

A Series of Poor Job Application Attempts

Google search: Where do I buy a job?

Go on Seek > Don't have any search criteria other than in my general location > proceed to scroll down past all the jobs searching for experienced chefs that are also registered nurses with forklift licenses and lots of experience in customer service...

dear random


I want the job

because I have previous experience and I am a well...

...organis...happ... good talk...


I have many qualities

I have... legs

*scrolls down Tumblr for ages*

I think I've been at this for an hour? I haven't applied to anything yet but I've written half an email.

Surprise! I'm here! Give me money?

Message friend: Quick. What's something good about me that's also job related?

Good at socializing.

No, something that's true.

Friendly to people you work with/customers.

No, something that's true.

""If you have good communication skills, could assist another person to develop and maintain new social networks, enjoy working with people and are a good role model in social situations-" Oh f*** I'll be unemployed forever. Ugh.

ONE JOB APPLICATION DONE! WHAT'S NEXT? I can make pizza. But I don't want to shave... suck it up man. Think of the camera gear you could afford if you had a job.

"Dear... you.

I like pizza."

That's relevant for my cover letter yet? Well it's not like I'm going to eat what I make so I could hate it all I care? I hated everything I made at Hungry Jacks so...

Screw it. Send. Send it all.


Funds low. Send job.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Adventures into Responsible Adulthood

Today I went shopping... survive.

Both my sisters have moved out of home and my parents are in Sydney for the week so that leaves me and my younger brother who isn't going to do anything towards maintaining the house so it was up to me to fend for the both of us and buy food. Foolishly I had brought this upon myself by asking my mother to just leave me money so I can practice being a "responsible adult". First up: Dishwasher.

How... is that... am I loading this properly? Can I put cups in that spot? Should I fill that up with blue liquid or... Ok press the button anyway. That's good enough. I don't remember it making that much noise previously when Mum uses it but OK. The red light means it's on so that must mean it is doing something, probably washing the dishes.

While that does its thing I made a shopping list. To see what I needed I looked in the fridge (which was nearly empty) and stared at it long and hard...

"...what... do you normally have in you..." I thought. Honestly I don't remember what goes in the fridge besides yoghurt and we didn't have any of that so I put it on the list. Surely lists are longer than that? Is it just a list if it's one thing but bullet pointed? I heard somewhere that lists look better in threes. After a lot of staring at the fridge wondering what exactly I ate back before I had full control over what I put in my mouth I managed to write down more like "milk" and "cheese". Something else too... Also Froot Loops because damn it mother! I don't care if they're nearly completely just sugar! (She wouldn't buy them because she wanted me to be "healthy". Yeah well I spend most of my time sitting in front of a computer anyway so tough luck on that one)

Off to the shops to buy food for survival and not just fun. I was never a real fan of shopping but now it had the added con of "responsibility" attached to it. Ugh. Oh no. The things I find while stalking between the different isles must sustain me for the week to come... I meandered aimlessly throughout the store, unsure of where anything was but discovering new things as I went a long. There was so much gravy.

So much gravy...

I couldn't find the right cheese so I skipped it and just bought a lot of different kinds of fruit juice. YOLO!

I awkwardly paid the cashier and then walked off with the four plastic bags filled with random foodstuffs only I meant to grab two in each hand but it didn't work and I accidentally grabbed a bag in the middle with both hands and was too awkwardly carrying it away to stop and fix it. I just kinda looked a bit odd carrying these bags in a slightly off manner as I exited the shops...

The things I bought won't last me a whole week... I'm going to have to do this again.

That or lay down and die from starvation. I dunno. One of those. We'll see. Damn adulthood is hard.

Why "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus is Brilliant

It's brilliant and you know it. Even if you hate it.

Especially if you hate it.

Now for those who haven't seen the music video (all 7 of you) watch it now:

What do you see? A trashy non-sensical music video where a 20-something pulls a proverbial middle finger to a non-descript authority and flaunts a sexual image? And also a few random shots of bread?

Yes. That's why it's so good.

It's good because those things aren't bad people just think they are. Miley is well known for her portrayal of Hannah Montana in the family friendly Disney show of the same name. Well that was fine while it lasted but now it's over and she's stuck with that Hannah Montana image that she clearly doesn't want. She's growing up, she's changing, she's not this innocent sweet role model for small children and she doesn't need to be. There are other Disney shows out there people go watch them instead.

What her latest video does is forcefully reject her previous image for the sake of drastically reinventing herself. This is how you destroy an image and make a new one. She's getting a lot of backlash from this in the comments. People are calling her a slut etc, which is 1) slut shaming and 2) gosh darn stupid because "you're meant to be a good role model to kids you slut whore!" is somewhat contradictory.

The song isn't just an attempt to distance herself from her innocent image that drags on her like a weight but a response to the hate she is inevitably getting from this. It literally opens with a message to those who think they can tell her what to do and wear:

It's our party we can do what we want
It's our party we can say what we want
It's our party we can love who we want

The opening verse might as well be "F*** off x10" and rightly so. Does everybody not realise that they are demanding that this person they've never met do what they want and act how they've constructed her in their minds to be? A construct based off a fictional TV show. Do they not realise how weird that is? People are yelling at the horror that is reality not aligning with their personal fictions. They fail to understand that their opinion on the matter starts and ends with whether or not they're willing to spend money on a product. They don't need to care outside of "do I enjoy this music enough to buy it" and they don't realise anything outside of that isn't wanted. She's an entertainer and you either like her entertainment or you don't. You don't get to tell her how to entertain you. They're not just trying to control what she wears but her entire persona and that's messed up. She sees that it and is rebelling against it. Did you not expect her to grow up and change? Did you expect her to be playing the sweet virgin until her 40s? If she never changed anything you'd be busy complaining about "That Destiny Hope Cyrus is such a bad role model for 13 year old girls!" (thank goodness she changed her name. That'd be really weird to see thousands of complete strangers call someone called "Destiny Hope" a slut).

I really love the self affirming lines:

Remember only God can judge ya
Forget the haters cos somebody loves ya

Those lines and the opening verse basically sum up the entire song. People will be judgemental but screw them. They don't matter.

There seems to be a lot of random silly things in this video like oversized teddy bear back packs, bread, stuffed animals, and coins projected onto bread... but I do believe even if a lot of these are for the sake of being unexpected there is one bit with meaning: at 1:43 Miley is in a pool with a "CENSORED" bar over her mouth. Out of all the deliberately sexual imagery in this video she chooses to put a "CENSORED" bar there. Sexual imagery of women pervade our society, but Miley is pointing out how little women are allowed to comment on that. This video and song are deliberately shocking and, as expected, we see the backlash. "Stop saying these things about you having fun and doing what you want! Be quiet! Have fun in ways we approve of!" and her response is "I knew you were going to say that... but no." It's a brilliant mixture of a message and a rebuttal to the response of that message at the same time.

Is Miley a good role model? Does it even freaking matter? Why are you imposing the role model status on her? And really deep down... what did you expect from a wealthy 20 year old with a lot of pressure on her to do if it wasn't rebel and write songs about partying?

Have... have you not... met 20 year olds...?