Thursday, February 25, 2010


Well I was going to blog about the first week of University, but then it kinda came and went so now I'm blogging about the first two weeks of university instead! Aren't you happy now? I bet you are! You're smiling ear to ear now that you've got two-for-one! (Though technically just one, but longer. Yay!) Let's begin.

I had this awesome idea that I would gather all my non-murdoch stuff and then parade around campus showing it off. The idea was to wear my Oxford uni shirt, drink from a Curtin drink bottle, wear a Curtin cap, carry my stuff in my ECU bag and use pens from UWA or ECU (depending on what I had). The reality of what happened was... I had an Oxford shirt and felt too stupid to constantly wear my slightly too small Curtin cap all the time so only showed it off occasionally. But yeah! I couldn't find the lid to my Curtin drink bottle so couldn't bring it :( I brought a batman one instead.

Well first day of Uni was a Tuesday. The awesome thing about that is when people when something will occur and I don't know or can't be bothered answering seriously I just say "Tuesday" as a joke because quite frankly, Tuesday's rock right? Much better than Monday (I want to shoot the whole day down) so for once I said Tuesday and it really was Tuesday! (Exciting so far isn't it?) OK well I had an awesome lecture about movies then went to the library and got out Charlie Chaplin in City Lights (which is awesome) and then I had a 3 hour lecture in the afternoon. It was so awesome. I have the best lecturer ever. He's incredibly funny but very informative. He's from Africa so has an accent but it's not hard to understand. Last lecture I had he started by opening up a youtube video of a foreign music video and singing along to it then proceding to dance. It got recorded for lectopia :P Martin (his name) is just plain awesome. You don't want to miss a lecture with him. We get to watch films! It's brilliant, we watched this eery Korean short film in the first week and the 2nd week involved watching Pretty Woman (which is apparently his favourite movie. We all thought he was joking, but no. He's serious he loves that film) and then soon we'll be watching District 9!

SUCK THAT ECONOMICS STUDENTS! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol.

The same goes to any sociology, history, business, engineering students or anyone whose course involves labs/maths/science in any way.

Wednesday. I do believe that was the day that I had a Foundation lecture in the morning and sat next to someone who was tired. We connected on this tiredness and then afterwards decided to talk under the shade of a tree about things such as highschool and such. I had a 4 and a half hour gap between classes so I could've just gone home and then come back a few hours later but no, I socialised under this tree, unaware that the sun was moving through the sky. Hours later I think I should probably move slightly to the right to avoid burning. It didn't work. I got home and realised that my legs were unbelievably red. My arms were burnt aswell but not as badly. (They didn't start to peel a week later) It hurt to go into sunlight the next few days. I'd never been burnt that much before in my life because I generally avoid being in the sun for too long (I burn easy) as I am afraid of skin cancer later in life.

The next day was Thursday (Wow thanks for telling me!) and I had only a 4 hour break between classes so that was good. I went to the City and saw Lorna instead of doing work :) Sweet right? I came back with time to spare for my next class which was a workshop for screen production. Basically sat there as the guy went over the basics of using Adobe Premier CS4. I'd used a different version of Premier previously so I didn't learn much and it wasn't that interesting. I did however, spend half the lesson searching for the "cut" button. Seriously they got rid of it for CS4! It's just not there! I kept clicking absolutely everything and eventually I had accidentally shifted everything around so much that the timeline was squished somewhere, there were no more viewing screen for the footage and other things like toolbars had been stretched way out of proportion. I was too proud to ask for help... he didn't tell us where the cut button was.

I now know it's shrotcut is ctrl+K.

You know what sucks? Shopping. But other than that, getting up at 6:30am also sucks. Which is what Fridays are for! First week I didn't have a psychology tutorial (I don't know why) so I had to get up at 6:30 to get there by 8:30 (Over an hour of that is travel time there) just for one hour Foundation tutorial then an hour back. These things are compulsary unlike lectures and so I need to attend or I fail. Yay! Though it was good, tutorials so far have involved the tutor going "get to know people!" No really, our first instruction was "turn to the person next to you and get to know them." then our next instruction was "turn to the other person next to you and get to know them." It worked well what with the person next to you was right next to you, perhaps even half on your desk. You see there were two classes going on at once, but everyone went to one and so the other one was very small and joined us anyway. Over the course of 10-15 minutes it just got bigger and bigger due to latecomers and other class. We were in a circle and the circle was so big it was just a bunch of desks against the walls with enough space for people to be. Ridiculous I know, which is why they split us again the next week. I wanted to be in the original class because they old guy was funny but no... No I got stuck with the old lady who reminds me of my year 10 S&E teacher whom I wrote a nasty poem about, she found, she got me suspended for 2 days over... I thought it wouldn't be fair or possible to change back because the class was quite small. Oh well.

Week two. What happened week two of interest? I don't know... I met people. I'm always meeting new people. I've got a nickname already. I can't remember which day it is but one of them involved a screen production tutorial where I just sat down outside the doorway on the floor and waited for it to start. People arrived and they were like "Hey." and I was like "Hi. I'm floor man." so then they were like "awesome" and now I'm called Floor Man by some of them. Yay!

Well I'm sure there's an interesting story in week two besides the one on Friday but I can't remember them. Oh well. Well basically Uni so far has been awesome. I need to start doing more work for it than I have been so far but it's pretty cool. The amount of freedom and how fun it is to just show up and learn exactly what you want instead of having to deal with yet another boring math lesson is just incredibly great! Though sometimes I get tired or bored during foundation lectures or classes in the late afternoon, but that's OK. For activity sign up I shouldn't wait next semester. I waited until the day after they were open and then just saw that so many were full already. It was terrible! You're a day late and suddenly your timetable has got huge gaps in it like mine does... Terrible!

Well anyway, Psyche tutorial on week two, Friday. Well no one knows each other and we're all just sitting there in this room not doing anything. I see whiteboard markers... Of course I'm going to walk up and take one! Duh! (Who doesn't?) So my ingenious idea to stop everyone being awkwardly silent while waiting for the tutor (who won't show up for quite some time) is to play hangman! Yay! I put up 5 lines and go "Who wants to play hangman? Come on!" it starts slowly with people guessing a letter occasionally, but soon escalates and then everyone's happy and people are joining in and talking etc. See? I rock. People wondered how old I was and someone even thought I was the tutor just messing with them all but no, I was 17. They liked my beard.

When the tutor came she told us about her previous employment in the states only private prison. (Which she pointed out you can buy shares in, which means you rely upon the state to breed criminals for your shares to show profit. I suggested going around abusing as many children as possible to breed criminals so you can be rich!) Then she told us to interact with each other and get to know each other (Wow uni is so awesome! I love being told to talk in class!) and someone said that we pretty much all had been talking when she wasn't there (because of the awesome social power of hangman) so she's like "Well... talk to someone you've interacted the least with." I met some guy who grew up in Ireland in a 7 story house. Damn you! You make my 3 story house with two balconeys and an ocean view seem so insignificant... Oh well.

Then we had to talk about the bystander effect because, you know, university involves learning apparently? So I can't be bothered telling you about it, just google it! Google everything!

So yes, I have to go and read seriously huge amounts of my psychology text book because I didn't previously. Work! Work! Why must I waste half my weekends with parties and social outings? I have things to do!

I'm a university student now :D

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


It has come to my attention that many things have changed since my first blog (such as using capital letters, spelling and full stops for their proper purpose, something I did anyway normally but I was experimenting with writing them like lazy emails or proper pieces of writing or even using paragraphs!) But one thing remains constant throughout these blogs (which I think we should all have noticed). It is my use of parenthesis.

I not only use them a lot, but I also wonder if I'm using them correctly (and whenever something gets too extended within a set of brackets I will eventually get rid of them and just have it as an open string of sentences) Because you see if I finish a sentence (like I just did beforehand) and then have said brackets then I don't know if I should put a full stop on the sentence before the brackets then capital inside brackets or to put a full stop on the end of the sentence within the brackets or even both sentences, close brackets and then a full stop. I've already used All 3 examples in this blog (though one technically was with an exclamation mark. It's technically the same sort of idea with punctuation anyway) and yet I still don't know which one looks correct. It's either one of those pointless sort of punctuation questions that no one cares about or even is sure of the answer... or (maybe) it's really simple and I've just never been told the correct way...

So think about it people. Whenever you think you're having a hard time and you're sitting there in the dumps... think about grammar and punctuation and how it has helped our lives, and also think about what you can do to learn more about this exciting and interesting subject. Remember experiences you had while learning certain kinds of punctuation and reflect on how they have shaped you as the person you are today...

It won't help you feel happy. It'll just be something to do. I command you to think about the proper placement of full stops in relation to various other pieces of punctuation!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Day

OK people, raise your hands if you actually like this day? OK. That's not impressive. I didn't see anyone raise their hands! Granted, I am typing at a screen and thus can only see the words that I type, but I mean surely you didn't raise your hand when reading this did you? Did you!?

I didn't...

Well I personally think it's an excuse to sell soppy cards and ridiculous amounts of flowers and chocolates that are coloured red or pink because our world wasn't commercial enough. You think you think this because you're single, lonely, and don't have anyone to give you your very own stuffed bear holding a love heart that says "I wuv oo!" Then you get that special someone, and you realise that actually no... previously it was fine as it was. You didn't need to spend any money back then or be seen dead in one of those stores that have nothing but purely pink junk designed to make you feel inferior for not buying them all!

Thankfully for me I have a brilliant combination of these two worlds. I have someone special and awesome, but I also have managed to avoid having to buy anything at all this year! Lorna has seen the light and has said not to buy her such soppy love cards in stores and all that other stuff because it's all bleh and such. Which is great because I sure as hell couldn't afford any of it because I am very poor...

So yay! I don't have to buy the same cliche junk as everyone else but I do get the elated feeling of knowing that I saw her today. Not for very long though, and we ended up seeing Valentines Day the film with such great actors like... Taylor Lautner... Taylor Swift... Ashton Kutcher. OK no it had some good actors in it like Jamie Foxx. In fact it had many good actors. So many actors that none of them actually got to show off any real talent because none of their characters got more than 20 minutes collective screen time. It was all just hey let's cram 12 small plots together into the space of 2 hours and 5 minutes and hope the people watching make any particular bonds with any of the characters. It wasn't one of those cool films where the lives of random unconnected people seem to intersect in major ways like Pulp Fiction it was just one of those films where the writer had many many ideas and not much descisiveness or ability to expand. It was basically every situation you can think of in a romantic comedy all stuffed into one. There was the guy who gets with his best friend after realising his girlfriend isn't right for him, the person who discovers the cheater and then has a happy ending, ect ect. The lives were only occasionally connected in very very minor ways like the two people would go to a similar resturaunt. To be fair, I did find it hilariously ironic that Taylor Lautner's character was too embarrassed to take it shirt off in public. No one else laughed at that... Also, I did manage to feel for Ashton Kutcher's character, probably because he had more of the movie to his story than other less interesting storylines. It was sad but then had a good ending. No massive surprises but it was sweet.

The entire thing was sweet in the end. It's exactly what you'd think of a romantic comedy for valentines day. Sweet, makes you smile at times, gives you the delusion that the girl next to you is going to let you get lucky afterwards... that sort of thing (the only reason ever to see a romantic comedy)

Hey everyone! It's Exactly 12 years since the film Titanic had it's single highest grossing day! Yes, and it did this over 6 weeks after it's release. Yes, how many films do you know that do that?

It's also 81 years since the St Valentines Day Massacre in Chicago, Illinois.

That's just so cheery! Hey, wouldn't it be so much more fun (for those morbid, anti-valentines day people) if instead of getting a teddy bear in a store, you'd find a gravestone saying "RIP North Side Irish Seven, 1929"? Or a commemorative Thompson sub-machine gun. "For all your valentines day needs" It goes great because then you can pretend what you're drinking is bootlegged booze and pretend you're a gangster. Or even better! A big teddy bear thats says "I wuv oo Bugs Moran to death!"

Yeah I think I'll stop with the horrific and poor taste jokes about valentines day meets death. Though what else is there to think about on today besides love? Today is love and death all rolled into one. Sometimes both put together in the case of Titanic. So yeah, it totally fits right?

Also, by the way for those who don't know, I'm making a facebook album entitled "My 1000 Sunsets" which is exactly what it sounds like. A compilation of 1000 sunsets which will take years to make but I want to make it anyway. Of course I can only upload one photo per sunset otherwise it won't be 1000 different and unique sunsets then. Well sometimes it's pretty hard to choose my favourite photo out of them all but I manage. But tonights sunset was just so incredibly beautiful that I had dificulty choosing so I've decided to post the extra ones that didn't get chosen here. Enjoy the sunset of Valentines Day 2010!

And for those who don't have facebook I will show you the one I chose out of all of them. Then I will also show you the original because I have a slight confession. These photos are slightly edited digitally. Well sorry but my camera is quite cheap and old OK? It's not even mine it's my mothers and she thought "It takes photos, thus it is sufficient". Well yes, to compensate for the fact that my camera doesn't really show off colour too well I occasionally change the contrast (only a bit, too much and the photo looks fake) to make things more defined. So here's the original:

And the slightly altered version:

As you can see I've decreased the brightness slightly and increased the constrast slightly more. It makes sunsets that previously didn't look as good on camera as they did in real life, look just as awesome as they did in real life! Or maybe even better? That's my tip to you sneaky photographers who thought something was really cool but then just didn't quite turn out as you had imagined... No photoshop required.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Medieval Vegan Socialists!

I'm apparently all 3 rolled into one now.

Yes, we all have been in that situation where you're walking past a stall and suddenly a socialist is asking you to sign a petition and you decide "SURE!". I in particular have been in that situation 3 times yesterday alone. Wait no, OK I actually got asked more than that but I had already signed the petition a few requests ago so yeah. Yeah it was O-week (orientation week) for Murdoch this week and Friday was the final day. There was meant to be lots of entertainment, live bands and lots of free stuff! Of course the "free stuff!" was really free pamphlets handed out by the people asking you to join their club/organisation/religion/company/political party. Mainly socialists. Labour was handing out paper bags with... stuff. I didn't go near them. I was too busy talking to the socialists and medieval society. I also met some vegans.

Well yeah, I get there early (9ish) because I thought I should do the same as I had for previous O-week days (which involved getting up nearly 3 hours before it starts...) and when I got there I realised that being there on time wasn't too important. Not all the free ride stuff had been set up, the band wouldn't start playing until after midday. The stalls were being set up but those lively socialists had already set up and gotten a few signatures on their petition! They stopped me and asked me to sign a petition for the legalization of Gay Marriage which I of course would sign. I swear I didn't know they were socialists until AFTER I had signed it! I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW! Oh well.

Well he handed me a free small piece of paper and then offered me a magazine... for $3 or $5. Yeah everything was free there besides what the communists were selling. There wasn't just one communist stall, there were multiple ones. I was very confused. One was supporting gay marriage, the other was very concerned with climate change and the third one just wanted me to learn about Cuba for some reason. The first two wanted my money.

Wait... what? Communists want my money! Yeah I didn't actually realise the irony of it when I first was asked for their money. I just walked off to Murdoch's Chinese styled pond and walkway thing to sit, write and draw.

Well I then later decided I was being a massive introvert and I had come here to partake in the crowd so I might aswell be somewhere near them. I approached the first communist (this was before I learnt about the OTHER ones) and asked him how he felt about the irony of using a capitilistic method to spread anti-capitalistic messages. He agreed with me and said it was a "necessary evil." I asked him how much it actually costed to produce the magazine and he said $3 but I could pay $5 to help expansion. That kinda justified it to me you know. Only asking for enough money to make back what they spent and not too focused on profit.

But in true socialist style I stood purely by their set of ideologies and didn't give them a cent.

Later I was informed the socialist parties of Australia had joined together to become one to which I replied "The communists are finally working together!"

Well you know after a while of walking around and wishing I wasn't so polite I had signed lots of things and accepted many things. Yeah if someone hands me something I just almost always instinctively take it. I pretend to care also and smile or say thankyou. But really, I just think it's rude to make the people realise that all their efforts are futile and fleeting. I'm not going to read whatever you just handed me! Though I did only sign petitions I knew what they were about. Except one... which seemed important. I had walked off to near the carpark and was looking at my phone when someone says (or at least this is what I heard) "Would you like to sign a petition to stop the deforestation of poor villages?" Well I wasn't aware that somewhere in the world someone was busy logging an entire forest which somehow was situated within a small village where only poor people lived. I wasn't aware that such an indecency was being committed against random nondescript villages! But I want there to be a stop to it! So I signed.

I didn't sign my name. But I signed it. I put down one of my friends names then told him about it afterwards. He personally is against poor people and encourages burning down the forests, or so his reply text had said. Maybe he was joking? Who knows with him... By the end I had stopped signing my name and made ones up. One of the socialists wanted me to sign something about global warming or live animal export and then they asked for emails and stuff and I didn't want to give that out to socialists so I made everything completely up. I didn't want to decline from signing it because I had approached him to ask him what he was about (once again, I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A COMMUNIST!!) and had spoken to him for too long that I thought it would be awkward to have basically agreed completely with him and then said I wouldn't support him in any way.

I also met many many other people there. Not many were interesting. Though I did get a FREE magazine from some vegans telling me that the recommended daily dietry intake of protein is a MYTH and that normal people get far too much protein than needed. Even a vegetarian diet is capable of having more than enough protein. Interesting, yes, mhm.... I still like the taste of sweet bloody murdered cow. It just tastes good OK!?

I also met some people who liked to dress up in medieval garb and fight each other! Originally you see the randoms dressed in medieval clothes and you think that's pretty geeky and feel like laughing at them. Then you walk over, they give you a pamphlet and explain what they're about and suddenly they seem awesome! Right? I mean, who DOESN'T want to dress up in armour and hit someone else with a sword? I actually decided that it'd be pretty cool but I had nothing appropriate to wear... damn. That and the times that they go being medieval and such clashes with my University time table.

Oh well. Fortunately for me, if I ever want to form a political opinion, I can become a communist. They don't really have any paticular schedule that I need to stick to, they just are. I don't really want to be a communist but I don't really believe that they're all evil. I have a problem with abuse of power not the actually idea of communism. Abuse of power is present in both systems in real world situations so the only real reason why I personally would ever support communism would be to destroy Scientology, which cannot function within a communism environment because it's based solely on the exploitation of the suggestible for the purpose of huge monetal gain and personal power. So without any money, Scientology loses it's only function and thus no longer can abuse and destroy people! Yay! See what you did America? You fought the communists and now we have the Scientologists! Was that really a fair trade? Was it? NO!

Vote for the socialist party!

I start Uni next week. I can't wait.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Obligatory Blog (Pop...)

I must blog! Or my loyal (*COUGH*YEAH RIGHT*COUGH*) followers will tire of my silence and go read more interesting blogs like... Imaginary Bakery (which, btw, is actually less imaginary than I was originally promised. It has been a grave distress to me that she's the only real person who I follow who has blogged in a while.) So I must write the obligatory blog post! I must prove I still exist, and thus feel validated when someone finally comments on these blogs so we both feel like we have proven our existence :) I like existing and so should you.

Do we all feel sufficiently real now that we have proved to our own minds that we are literate? Keep in mind that it is merely your perception of literacy that has allowed you to read this and make you think it is affirming you about your own literacy. "What?" Basically what I may be poorly trying to communicate here is your thoughts are the only proof that you can use to prove your own existence to yourself and hence anything else you can't prove if it's real or if it's your imagination. So how do you know what these words mean? YOU'RE BRILLIANT AND I LOVE YOU! It could be gibberish or -YOU'RE GREAT- even insults. Who knows?

Why yes, I did just blatantly make a poor reference to the philosophy of that "I think therefore I am" guy. (Who? I'm not sure, to wikipedia!) OK his name is René Descartes and can I prove he exists? I think of him thus I exist, but to think he exists is to acknowledge he thinks, and how do I know that when everything I know could be have been thought and created by me?

My attempt at philosophy is pointless and probably very amateur indeed. So let's move on!

University starts soon and I keep thinking perhaps I'm unprepared, perhaps I haven't done something right or forgotten something and I'll find out I don't have a book I need or didn't quite click the very last button for enrolling and so I have to keep telling myself everything is OK. "Everything will be OK" is a film by Don Hertzfeldt which I have recently decided is the most brilliant animation done with stick figures I have ever seen in my entire life. Not only is the animation brilliant but the thing is a film. It's not just some random animation on the internet done with flash, it's a handdrawn short film done by a filmmaker who has won many many awards, which he deserves for his immense amount of work, effort, thought and creativity. It's about this man called Bill who goes through life with no idea of if he has a purpose and then gets increasingly mentally ill. It's so funny and yet sad and tragic. I love it. As Bill's life gets more chaotic so does the drawings and when Bill breaks down completely you're assaulted by so many things at once. It's like you're experiencing his own perception of the world around him warping to the point where it's incomprehensible chaos.

It is just so incredibly awesome.

OK so far my obligatory blog has briefly mentioned existence, uni and Don Hertzfeldt's brilliant animations. What's the point of this? Damn, you know I normally don't do obligatory things just for the sake of updating something because it usually ends up with you just saying "I'm doing this because I feel like I have to!" and well, that isn't really that interesting. "Why do you want the job?" "Because I haven't had one in a while. Why are you hiring me?" "Because we haven't hired anyone in a while." (I actually would like that occurance, it'd be fun... for me. Come on people!) So to all those who have managed to survive reading this far into this mandatory blog update I have a special treat for you! (Those of you who have facebook that is)!/pages/Can-this-Onion-Ring-get-more-fans-than-Justin-Bieber/285409781939?ref=ts

The answer is, YES! That Onion Ring CAN get more fans that Justin Bieber! (Notice the capitals on the Onion Ring? That's because it's so damn awesome it's now a pronoun. It is a being in itself)

Edit: The fan group was actually removed not long after reaching more fans than the Jonas Brothers. RIP Onion Ring :( Your enemies have destroyed you!

There is some photographic evidence of this amazing miracle of rationality and good taste in people today :) The onion ring managed to unite nearly 2 million people (it's growing strong!) in just 5 days to join in on a good cause of proving to the world that not all teenagers give in to the pathetic manipulative mass marketed musical numbers that are written by 40 year old men, sung by 15-20 year old boys, and listened to by over excited and inexperienced 14 year old girls! Do you now there's a "genre" of music called "teen pop"? I was so disheartened and angered when I heard such a thing existed. You know those songs you hear on the radio that only your young daughter who has just started liking boys, has no individual thoughts of her own, is starting to dress in clothes she's picked out by herself instead of what you bought her because you're "so uncool mum/dad/foster guardian/person who has claimed ownership illegally" and still thinks turning 18 means you're officially old? Yes, the stuff Disney likes to sell to you with your Highschool Musical lunchboxes, backpacks, pencil cases (with MATCHING PENCILS!) and rulers. That's "teen" pop. Though technically half of it's target market is a "tween" audience.

Do you even know what a tween is!?!????? Well I'll tell you (so you don't need to google it, but if you just did that to say "I can answer your rhetorical question!" then you're sad. So sad) It's an imaginary age group somewhere between teenagers and toddlers. There is no specific definition of the actual age, because it's not real! OK it's safe to say a 5 year old is definitely not a tween. But is a 10 year old a tween? "Tweens" are the "in between". In between being dependant on their parents for everything and being rational free thinking individuals who aren't easily manipulated. Somewhere between these two ages these kids get a source of income that doesn't get taxed and isn't needed for food or anything other than the tweens own amusement.

Tweens aren't people! THEY'RE A MARKETING PLOY! The people who market these things have created a whole new age group to sell things to. Apparently there weren't enough stages of growing up because someone out there wasn't making enough money. So teen pop is basically a way of saying to a child who knows nothing about love or music or what a gimmick is "This is what cool is! This is what HOT is!" so they accept it. The problem is the guys are all so hunky when their 15 or 17 but then they get a bit older and so do their fanbase so their fans realise that there's things out there like rock, REAL pop (which is still stupid but at least the artists are listened to for their music half the time instead of just their looks %100 of the time) jazz, classic music, metal and one of my favourites: cello rock. OK so most 14 year old girls won't ever grow up to discover the awesomeness of such cello rock bands as Rasputina, Apocalyptica (that's the hella mainstream one ya'll), Melo-M or even Judgement Day and Break of Reality! But yes, once they grow up and realise all teen pop is the same thing repeated they need someone new to appeal to next years tweens with "new" songs. Justin Bieber for example! Do you honestly think this 15 year old kid will still be around when he's 20? I'll be very shocked if he is. It's great because although those 14 year old girls fantasise about oh sweet hawt cool awesome dreamy Zac Efron, they really deep down know they could never get with him because that'd be a) HIGHLY ILLEGAL b) just impossible, he's too old :( (awww...) BUT! Justin Bieber! He's 15! Which means he's just as underaged as his entire fan base!

Not only can your kids dream of being with him but it is a "realistic" dream because he's so young and seems so sweet singing that song about how much he loves a nondescript girl who may just be YOU! Yes YOU little girl! He can be all yours! :) But he only loves you if you buy all his merchandise!

So yes, I listen to bands that are described as "avant-garde metal" with influences that range "from black metal, progressive metal, industrial music, symphonic metal and gothic metal to European classical music and contemporary music." or "Cello/Gothic Rock/Dark Cabaret/Indie/Steampunk" or even "kebab-kosher-jazz-film-traffic-punk-music." (Which is really a cult-avant-garde finnish band that's influenced by klezmer music). I also listen to Green Day and Good Charlotte. I don't really believe in "rebelling" against the commercialist mass marketed popular music as a stand to be hell alternative and cool. I just don't like listening to s*** music, which unfortunately is what is defined as "popular" (by tweens apparently). I like my bands like Peccatum, Havayoth, Arkona, Age of Silence, Alamaailman Vasarat, Delain, Darkspace, Visions of Atlantis, Unexpect, Tool, I Set My Friends on Fire (that band is hilarious!) Diablo Swing Orchestra (favourite band ever) and many others because they're different, they're interesting, they're not a carbon copy of some other band. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy popular music like Green Day, Linkin Park, Anberlin, Slipknot, KoRn and Mudvayne (Yes, those last three ARE popular) because they sound cool. It also doesn't help to listen to at least SOME music that you don't have to order from overseas just to listen to... *sigh* Oh Diablo Swing Orchestra, one day you'll be known within Australia... one day I will see you on a CD store shelf...

So enjoy your plastic pop songs by 20-something artists like Britney Spears and those... other women and men. I don't know their names. Enjoy it! Because it's not Teen-pop! The lowest of the low... You don't have to listen to my obscure metal bands or even my "alternative" rock bands (JB Hi-Fi stores nothing but the most mainstream "alternative" you ever did listen to 3 times on the radio yesterday) but I do implore all you out there to pick bands that write their own songs, sing without computers and have a fan base whose average age is at least 17 or higher. Do not let the tween marketers win! They stalk your children and watch how they interact with things around them in shopping centres, what shows they like and even how they hold bottles of shampoo in the shower to see if the container is comfortable and how best to market shampoo to your kid! (I'm not actually making this up. People have really actually watched kids in the shower for the sake of "marketing improvements")

All hail the onion ring!

P.S. My sister thinks therefore she exists.